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I Kan't Spell



Thursday, July 03, 2003

 
If You Can't Stop Em' Inspire Em'

My Day
By Bret Holmes::

Hi my name is Bret and I am 23 years old. Soon to be 24. My birthday is August 22nd, 1979. My Mommy had to write that in my lunchbox. My teacher Mrs. Coyle told us to write about our day for homework. My Dad wants me to write an "introspective piece" about my life. He wrote down these things on a piece of paper for me so I could copy them. Well here goes!

    My Typical Good Weekday
  1. Wake Up and my back doesn't hurt
    • Maybe I took Advil before going to bed
    • I didn't drink heavily the night before

  2. Go into work at about 11
  3. Pick some sing along music for my walk to the bus
    • Stones, Oasis, Ryan Adams, Beatles

  4. Smoke a cigarette without coughing or weezing
  5. Exit the bus at my stop without leaving anything on the bus
  6. Go exercise
    • Run 5 miles and do 500 sit ups

  7. Teach little kids with a smile
    • I have 6 classes in a row without lunch
    • The classes have about 10 crazy Korean youngins

  8. Go exercise
    • Choose a major muscle to work 5 sets with legs and sit-ups interspersed as super-sets

  9. Go eat dinner with a girl
    • Chinese, Japanese (no sushi, yuk fish!), Korean, Some sort of Chicken

  10. Visit a local "tap house" (I heard this judge tell that to one of my friends in a DWI hearing)
    • Drink
    • Share merriment
    • Laugh
    • Sing

  11. Walk said girl home to my house
  12. Have sex
  13. Sleep with no bad dreams


    My Typical Bad Weekday
  1. Wake Up and my back screams in pain
    • My Gym Teacher, Mr. Brandice always told me that diving on the floor would come back to get me
    • Humping drywall isn't a cool summer job
    • Hard liqour does not have vitamin E like my babysitter said

  2. Go into work at about 9:30
  3. Pick some new music that I don't know yet for my walk to the bus
    • Bread, Sheryl Crow, The Beastie Boys
    • My batteries die

  4. Smoke a cigarette while coughing and weezing with blood shot eyes
  5. Exit the bus at my stop while leaving my umbrella, camera, or cd player sitting on the seat
  6. Patronize about exercising
  7. Go eat fast food and sleep
  8. Teach little kids with a scowl
    • I have 8 classes in a row without peace and quiet
    • The classes are fucking stupid and I end up throwing things at the dumber kids

  9. Shake my head and denounce exercise for the blind rich
  10. Go home and cook out of our cockroach filled kitchen
    • Chicken, Ground Beef Omelet, Spaghetti

  11. Visit a local "soju tent" (these are the little holes outside my house where I drown my day)
    • Drink
    • Try to write drivel
    • Sigh
    • Get angry

  12. Walk home alone
  13. Punch a large sign or wall
  14. Attempt to sleep


That was an outline of my day. I just want to say that that was fun and I hope Mrs. Coyle likes it. Recess is my favorite subject behind math. I also don;t like lasagna wednseday. The cottage cheese is always cold.

There you have it...wait a minute...jesus that wasn't funny...that's actually quite sad...ahh well fuck it...go ahead and laugh at it... I know I am. So yeah take that you bloggin bastards (man I'm cursing a lot today). It was a nice premise at first but then it kinda faded.

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Favorites List
Pandora Song List
Amazon Wish List
Reading
Revolutionary Wealth - Tofflers
Brian Jones

Things Making Me Smile
The City
Newness
Listening - [out of 5]
Benjy Ferree - 4.8
The Thermals 3.1
David Gray 3.8

Quote(S)
Like the guy with the beard? YES - like the guy with the beers. What? Yep

Bands That I Check Schedules For
Badly Drawn Boy
Belle and Sebastian
Benjy Ferree
The Black Keys
Deerhoof
Drive By Truckers
The Eels
Enon
Kimya Dawson
Mark Hopkins Band
Oasis
Iron and Wine
Mates of State
Ted Leo
Travis
Two if By Sea
Ween

Places I Rock in the Flesh
9:30 Club
Black Cat
Electric Factory
Fletcher's
8x10
The Knitting Factory
The Otto Bar
Recher Theatre
Sonar

Places I Eat/Drink in the Flesh
Aldo's
Bishop's Collar
Boccacio's
Cross Street Market
Hull Street
Joun Gak
Mick O'Shea's
No Way Jose
Porter's
The Irish Pub
Turner's
The Waterfront Hotel

My Greatest Hits (that's so lame)

The time I almost killed a child
July 4th in Korea
Excerpts from Demian
Why I screen phone calls
Bret's Death Metal Report
A conversation at a cocktail party
A conversation at breakfast
So you think you are a Baltimorian
A conversation about a girl singer
Observations from a bar
Observations of strippers
Tech Language
Why I love Oasis
I would go to war
"You Son of a Bitch" An Open Letter to Tom Friend
Dance to Your Ocean
Dream Ranch
When men become pussies
Jason Whitlock is a racist propaganda promoter
Pitchfork takes music snobbery to new level
The Cosmic Clash of the Red Sox and Cubs
The Hatred that is Runts Candy
Starting corporate line-up
Google Bio
Do you know me? List 1 / List 2 / List 3
The Night I Burned Philly Down
So You Want to be a Booze Hound
She Said it was Free
Funniest Corporate Story Ever
Striped Shirts and the Fucks that Wear Them
Death Peddle
NEW!!!
Pieces of Morning
Oasis Album Revew
The Art of Tipping
Starting Fires With Grass Stains
Bret's Federal Hill Food Review
Sexcapades and your Picture on the Internet
Stupid Secrets
Stupid Secrets the Return


Contact Me

Stuff I Swing By From Time to Time

- MUSIC
Donewaiting.com
hive3.com
Indie Video Archive
Large Hearted Boy
Important Records
Oasis News
Pitch Fork Media
Reptilian Records
Scenestars MP3 Blogs
Sound Garden Baltimore

- BUY
Aloud.com
Pre-Shrunk
Shotgun Apparel
Warrior Clothing

- HUMOR
Angry Little Girls
Atom Films
Eye Envision
Homestar Runner
Kill Frog
Junior Varsity Meat Market

- PERSONAL
Baltimore City Paper
The Baltimore Sun
Calvert Hall
Degroen's Brewers
ESL Cafe
Fantasy Sports
Korean Herald
Villa Julie College Baseball
W3 Schools



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