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I Kan't Spell



Tuesday, July 08, 2003

 
Rolling Stone

I have been a religous reader of Rolling Stone for about 3 years now. I read every issue front to back. Usually, I don't like it, but it helps me keep a beat on pop culture. And we all know how Bret loves pop culture. Lately though it's been this weird mouth piece for odd askew republican agendas brought about by guilt. I mean, like it or not, when we say "Please come home safe" or "We think you are doing a great job, our prayers are with you." We are really just sympothizing. Nothing more. There's no truth to those statements because we have no context for which them to stick. I can see if you are a weekend warrior or a vet then maybe those statements might have validity but we have become disenchanted with military (wait i'll write more on that in a minute) And believe me, I see all these stars on TV everyday over here, they call them "Hollywood shout outs". I struggle to thinkg of anything more phoney in my entire life. Well that's what Rolling Stone has been doing, it's own lame ass sympothizing. It's mouthpiece ass crap.

Like in the issue with Justin Timberguy and Christina Hottail on the front they have this whole pro-killer, troops are really comedians, everything is lively when we see toasted bodies, holy crap a bullet!, we only attack at night, article about "the Death Crew". I mean I'm sort of proud of our Armie's technology and even a little envious but I don't want to meet the death crew. Especially not this death crew. There is no way these guys are real. I mean who drags along a primpy little reporter from Rolling Stone, weighing a lean buck 25, through the desert and has time to tell jokes, Death Squad my ass. I don't want my soldiers being movie stars. They are paid to do a job and this Rollingstone half a man isn't enlightening me on anything. He's poking holes for me. He's making it seem like Iraq is Disney Land even by him saying , "This is no Disney Land." he makes me fucking feel like it is Disney Land. I don't know I'm just angry at Rollingstone. It could be such a better magazine than what it is.

There was a great article with Jon Stewart though. Man I miss the Daily Show. He was witty poignant and optimistic even though always cynical. I can't find the article online...but if I think about it later I'll rip some quotes from it...I laughed out loud at reading for the first time since Bukowski's Ham on Rye. I think Jon is right on!

The Thom York interview was atrocious. Orwell and 1984, reading about death shadows, explaining that he is talking over a telephone in Birtain somewhere, his band is in a "really nice spot" right now. I felt more disenchantment towards Thom York after reading that then I did after he released that fucking ass rag known as Amnesiac.

Their top 10 live acts.

  1. #1 U2(yeah they put some stuff in there but the robot does the work you know),
  2. Radiohead (what? has anybody ever seen a radiohead show(you know for less than a small house loan)...you might as well bring a tuna sandwich(net free tuna of course) and a protest sign. Maybe in 97' they rocked a little but Jesus the two shows I have been to were worse than hippy shows. A whole bunch of ugly people in cordoroy pants talking about saving the world and how Thom's hair is sooooooo cute today. Get the fuck out of here with Radiohead as number 2. I mean I love the music but they weren't made to make me jump and sweat.
  3. Bon Jovi (Who is the demographic again for Rollingstone, 35 year old fat white women and 40 year old guys with mullets trying to score with those 35 year old fat women? I've never been to a Bon Jovi concert so I won't pretend to know what goes on. But, I can really imagine the electricity when "Shot through the heart" kicks in and the crowd just goes wild! Wild I tell you!
  4. No Doubt (Gwen Stefani, and stadiums and that drummer who's naked...I mean come on...how many times can I hear "about a girl". I don't like jumpity bands. The kind of bands that are like "Let me hear you Cleveland!! Yeah you are awesome we love you!!" Fuck those bands. And fuck Rolling Stone for idolizing those sick twisted people who beg for what should be given without thought. Who plead for my sweat instead of making it happen. Damn sick people and their Rock n' Roll misgivings.


I don't know I've been to a ton of shows in my life. And what I have seen here is a weird way to justify their own love for these twisted bands. I mean if you slave for the record companies and then you need to bore everyone with another top ten list and you have been defending these ass clown bands you would throw them in too and say, "well I know their albums really suck but live...woo...live they rock..." my ass they rock!
There were others in there but I'm too pissed right now...

Oh yeah launch is now playing Zepplin and do you remember in Almost Famous where the band rips apart rolling stone for ripping Zepplin...yeah yeah yeah yeah...see I'm not alone! If Spin wasn't so bad and NME would deliver over the water I would buy em' but damn America has bad mass musical taste!

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