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I Kan't Spell



Tuesday, June 15, 2004

 
In Disagreement to Anti-Draft

Tim wrote an interesting blog post hoping to awaken people to the possibilities of the draft. He has provided resources and a whole bunch of capital letters.

I agree that the draft is against the more liberal principles of our culture. No one should be forced to kill. No one should be forced to die. No citizen of an idea, that propagates the pursuit of liberty and happiness, should be forced to fly around the world, in hopes of protecting our riches, to kill brown people who own a lot of dead dinosaur stock. I agree with this totally. I agree and understand that our country is continuing a vicious cycle that will one day make me extremely thankful that I can read and write Korean. Although my opinions on what should not happen to other Americans are similar to most liberal activists I find that personally I want to fucking kill people.

I love the idea of going to war. I find it romantic and exhilarating. I would love to serve my country if called upon. I wouldn't do it for American ideals. I would do it for my own personal growth.

Hemmingway signed up for it, Orwell went looking for it three times, Dostoevsky lived it, Heller dropped bombs on people, shit even Vonnegut fought in WW2. The idea of being in control of death and your own abilities to kill and propel yourself with nothing more than a wayward personal testament to live and suffer appeals to me. The idea of death and chasing it appeals to me. Immortality through nightmares and vivid pain is attractive. Unparalleled sights of destruction and chaos are something that can fill me. I am emotionally detached from horror. Wars, car bombings, or buildings falling down don’t emotionally move me. I think of the cause of what just happened, and then rationalize the action.

The draft is everything this country isn't. Unfortunately, some part of me, wants to own up to the idea that America isn't a free ride. We live in a country that affords us luxury beyond the rest of the world. We have space to move and live and breathe and fucking parachute out of planes. We have a country full of splendor the rest world envies with every passing breath of their lives. We should be responsible, in a just cause, to fight for that.

Do I believe the war on "terror" is justification of civilian lives? No.

Do I want to become a militarized nation? No.

Would I like to see my friends and family die for a cause that they will never reap the benefits of? No

Would I die for a cause I don't believe in? Not willingly.

Would I die just to chase death and see things no one will ever see? Absolutely

You may have read that and think that I'm rather morose or depressed or have a death wish. Well I'm not any of those things while I am writing this. The pursuit of extreme rare situations that provide me with severe swings of joy and pain is a noble quest. To sacrifice everything in hopes of memory's treasures and nightmares is beautiful.

Also, on a horrible side note...I would like to say that the American is Gov't going to eventually become extremely militaristic and overbearing. Who wouldn't want to be on a winning team...Imagine if everyone just joined up for the Army? I think that would fucking freak the US Gov't out...and they would have to go right back to the drawing board.

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