There was a long pillar of aluminum with 2 red lights adorning their rear as I drove to Virginia. It had been a while since I had driven in traffic and my strange habit of sleeping at the wheel was returning again. I found myself nodding and dozing off during every stop - go - stop - go - stop - go second of the 495 change.
"20 miles of this?" I rustled to myself. In the rental car there is a satellite radio that get over 150 channels. The channels are stratified and every genre you can imagine has it's 1 station. I listened to channel 26 "Left of Center" the whole way down. I listened to bands I hadn't had much of a chance to absorb, but trapped in a car you can manage the 3 minutes of strange noise. I heard bands that I had been wanting to hear; Von Bondies, Ed Harcourt, Razorlight, The Pixies. And they were followed up by the legitimization bands that I have come to know; White Stripes, Badly Drawn Boy, Doves, The Jam.
I watched men in minivans driving along, putting in the right hand lane with their ties they bought from Sears. My dad used to by his suits from JC Penny. He always wore paisly ties. You have a lot to think about while you are in the car for 2 hours. I thought about Jas sitting at Turners last night after she had called me. I hoped that she might call back. I hoped that she went home and went to sleep with a smile. There was no need to lament over having a bad day, not on a Monday anyway. Not on a Monday.
I kept trying to picture the happy times in my life as I continued to nod in and out of sleep and half sleep. I was trying to pinpoint moments that I could draw on for strength or an occasional smile. If things were to get bad I would like to be able to have those memories handy and categorized. I have done this throughout my life but those memories have caused me to dwell. Those memories have caused me to become stagnant and sorrowful. I never used them for strength, I only used them for regret, anguish, and pity.
The roads merged into one another. 95 became 495 and 495 became Exit 45b and exit 45b became 66 and 66 became Fairfax and Fairfax became Lincoln. I was amazed I had stayed awake this long. The piercing sound of the Gang of Four, a British punk band from the early 80's may have helped that along as I was in traffic for a few minutes before that 66 turned into a 273.