It all felt like a big instead. It all felt like a big nothing. It should have been better than that. It should have been a moment. Instead it was a blur of embarrassment and anger. Instead it was something that when I woke up I regretted. Well I didn't really regret it. It felt fucking great to throw someone down a flight of stairs. I'm not gonna lie about that. But the conversation afterwards should have meant something. The moments at 3 am should have been sweeter. Instead it's just you figuring out how to go back to your life and me figuring out how to not scare someone. I have no idea who I am. I lost a good bit of myself last night. I may even have lost you.