I Kan't Spell

 
Welcome Back TIBS

Two If By Sea - your favorite Baltimore band - is back and will be playing soon - check out the Spin article on them.

http://www.spin.com/features/heythisisawesome/2006/10/061025_twoifbysea/
Link posted by JVMM : 5:45 PM

 
Noel Online Interview and Set

A sweet 3 song set and new acoustic version of "Good to be Free", "Slide Away", and "Whatever". If you are an Oasis afn - you will love this.

Fanfuckinbrettastic
Link posted by JVMM : 2:47 PM

 
Give us Your Poor, Your Tired, Your Fence Jumping Masses

Yet another officially awesome use of our tax dollars.



What a great solution. Nothing yells a free country like barbed wire fences, men with guns, and poor people on one side wanting to get to the other. If the Mexicans were smart, they'd shut down all their medial labor work for a day and the rest of American may actually have to go and do real jobs again instead of watching "My Sweet 16" on MTV and pondering the ever prudent question, "Why don't I have a Ferrari?"

This country is headed to a deep dark place that smells like...revolution.
Link posted by JVMM : 5:47 PM

 
My Conversation Every Morning

...or a variation there of...

Jer(w): did I tell you I am probably going to the game @ Pitt on christmas eve?
Jer(w): that should be interesting
bretbliam: nice
bretbliam: good game to go to
bretbliam: of course pittsburgh will be 4-11
Jer(w): that would be all the better
Jer(w): but they were 7-5 when they went on their run last year
Jer(w): so don't count them out
Jer(w): its still cowher
Jer(w): who by the way, as much as I hate him, is the best coach in the league
bretbliam: belichek is easily the best coach in the league. He wins with nobody.
bretbliam: and he wears a sweat shirt
bretbliam: we have the only gay fuckin coach who wears a leather jacket
Jer(w): ok
Jer(w): good point
Jer(w): just cowher is very very good
Jer(w): when they get a lead of 11 pts...........THEY DON'T LOSE.......never have
Jer(w): NEVER
Jer(w): that's insane statistic
bretbliam: yep
bretbliam: belichek
bretbliam: hands down
bretbliam: no question in my mind
Jer(w): ok got it
Jer(w): I agree with you
bretbliam: cowher 2nd
Jer(w): there you go
bretbliam: but a distant 2nd
Jer(w): then billick
Jer(w): ha
bretbliam: then the shanahan
Jer(w): then art shell
bretbliam: mike nolan
Jer(w): hza
Jer(w): ha
bretbliam: that guy is so overrated
Jer(w): uh yeah
bretbliam: him and the Bill Walsh chain are so overrated
bretbliam: i dont believe in that shit
bretbliam: taking pieces of a championship team
bretbliam: like the fuckin offensive line coach
Jer(w): ha
Jer(w): look at billicks chain thoguh
Jer(w): impressive
bretbliam: just because someone is the nephew of a QB coach that played for Bill Walsh - he has a pro coaching position anytime he wants
Jer(w): ha

::PAUSE::


Jer(w): you know this song by my chemical romance is fucking really good
Jer(w): The Black Parade
bretbliam: dont bring that shit near me
Jer(w): like really really good
Jer(w): Have you heard it?
bretbliam: i watched a thing on tv
Jer(w): its impressive
Jer(w): I dig it
bretbliam: that compared their concert to the signing of the constitution
Jer(w): well that is just a tad insane
Jer(w): but the song is very well put togehter
bretbliam: "230 years ago in this town some men showed their pure rock n roll spirit by signing the constitution - this band is here to start the NEW revolution" - The Guy introducing the band
Jer(w): retarted
bretbliam: yeah
Jer(w): the song is still good
Jer(w): have you heard it?
bretbliam: i immediately tore down all me CR posters!
bretbliam: i havent
bretbliam: and i wont
Jer(w): you are too stubborn
Jer(w): life is too short
bretbliam: id rather listen to 98 rock all day
Jer(w): enjoy that
bretbliam: at 10 they are going to play Californication

::short Pause::

bretbliam: oh wait the 10 am song is
bretbliam: "im not the one who is so far away..."
Jer(w): and it is.....................
Jer(w): Godsmack
bretbliam: oh yeah
Jer(w): HHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAA
bretbliam: this is awesome
Jer(w): I swear I was writng that anyway
bretbliam: what a great song
Jer(w): that is so fucking hilarious
bretbliam: that is pretty funny
bretbliam: but californication is next
bretbliam: i promise you
Jer(w): No I am going to go with..............
Jer(w): hmmmmmmm
Jer(w): I will say, Nickelback
bretbliam: i turned it off
bretbliam: we'll have to wait until tommorrow
Jer(w): damn
Jer(w): we should play that game
Jer(w): what will the 10 am song be?
bretbliam: my pick will always be Californication
bretbliam: or Whole Lotta Love
bretbliam: one of those two
Jer(w): aerosmith
bretbliam: love in an elevator
bretbliam: livin it up while im going downnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn
bretbliam: 98 rock
Jer(w): dude looks like a lady
bretbliam: the worst radio station of all time
Jer(w): maaaaack maaaack
bretbliam: oh oh oh dude looks like a lady
Jer(w): duuuuuuude look like a lady
bretbliam: oh oh oh oh
bretbliam: its hard to type sing
Link posted by JVMM : 11:20 AM

 
fide, sed cui vide

Trust, but see whom you are trusting.
Link posted by JVMM : 12:26 PM

 
Crazy Chess Piece

The Crazy Chess piece was new to the game. All the other pieces had their positions and their assignments. Their main assignment was to protect the King and maybe even deflect pressure from the Queen. They all wanted to help the queen but the Queen had no business to associate with any of the lower ranking pieces. The Queen could do what she wanted.

The Knight thinks he is the most cunning because he is agile and crafty. His attack schemes and defensive attacks are hidden and sometimes stealth. He feels as though he serves the Queen best by forcing himself to the sides in order to dominate the middle. His objective is to corner and freeze via his ability to conjure up multiple attack forms.

The Rook thinks he is the muscle of the field. He starts off labored in the corner of the battle and is normally used to defend the King and to provide instantaneous muscle on the opposing teams King. His moves are long and few but when they come they came with thunder.

The Bishop is the striker of the group. His starting position and diagonal attacks make him the most deadly piece on the board next to the queen. Always just one move away from being given free reign he considers himself the Queen's right hand man and his strikes come at the shock and awe of the opposing army.

The Pawns do not speak separately like the pairs of Knights, Rooks, and Bishops. The Pawns speak up as a unit. "None of the other pieces would be anything without our sacrifices. We lay down, clog, and open paths so that you can attack and defend with your given abilities. We are the most important pieces because we are the duteous and unmerited. We are the Unknown Soldier and without us your special skills would be nothing.

The Queen knows how the other pieces feel and simply poses the question, "What piece do you wish you were? Me."

The Crazy Chess piece doesn't know his role but imagine that if he were included in the game he would be close to the Queen and learner from her. His roll would maybe to have one move per match anywhere on the board that could take any piece other than the Queen.
Link posted by JVMM : 1:17 PM

 
Holy Fucking Hide Your Kids

I put it to you Greg - (ala Animal House) - is there anyone more fucking creepy looking than Carrottop










I mean seriously WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?!
Link posted by JVMM : 10:33 AM

 
Randoms

Everyone has their own corner crap product place to buy cigarettes, maybe a beer, or the occasional slushy and a cookie. My corner store happens to be a 7-11. While deep down inside I wish it was a place called Maude's or a small Mexican bodega with their children running around, rather than a conglomerate world killer like 7-11, but alas 7-11 has Parliament Lights and Maud's has yet to be erected.

We have all been in 7-11's. It's an American institution pretty much. You go in there and the coffee is less than a buck and they have hot dogs and all the free cheese and chili you can fit into a cardboard box. But, what they normally do not have is customer service. What we normally get in the customer service arena when we enter 7-11 is a nameless faceless interaction with someone that really needs a break for their next mentholated cigarette. We don't even normally get a "thank you", or a "please come again", or the courtesy of a smile. We are lucky to get the correct change. There is no community in our 7-11's. It is an instant gratification machine that is not only thankless but viewed upon as not worthy of receiving our thanks as well.

My 7-11 is different. It is stereotypically run by a family of middle aged Indian men. Now, I don't know if they are family but 5 different Indian guys working in the same place and taking pride in their place of business usually means some sort of family unit to me. The 7-11 is clean and organized and there are always 3 of them working. There is 1 behind the counter and someone else is straightening the aisles or checking the coffee or restocking. They greet you with a "good morning" and send you on your way with a "Thank you. Have a nice day." They do this every time and every time it resonates within me as genuine. Now, while this may not be anyone's dream nor the most mentally challenging thing one would want to do with their career it does however take a steadfastness and community awareness that is underrated. If you owned a 7-11 imagine the amount of people you would have to interact with on a daily basis. Imagine how miserable your job would be if they were all nameless and faceless. Now, imagine how much better your job would be if you could exchange a joke or a small conversation about the weather or even just know what brand of cigarette they are going to purchase. It seems almost bearable.

I have to tell you, it's the best 7-11 I have ever been too and I am happy that it is in my new neighborhood. I may even start buying milk from there....nah...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Walking to work and walking home from work is such a wonderful thing. I have a few different modes in which I walk. Sometimes I do the walk and read. Sometimes I do the listen and walk.

I have perfected the art of walking and reading. And I don't mean like looking up in between lines or half-assed not paying attention reading. I mean I can walk and read. I don't know how I do it but i have some sort of extra sensory ability to pay attention to both foot and vehicle traffic and not fall into a hole. In my 30 minutes walk home I can usually read about a page a minute.

My other mode is the music mode and I would like to expand on this a little. I love listening to music walking to work in the fall, winter, and the early cold part of spring. There is something rebirthing about the entire atmosphere created between your ears. You get to look at the old buildings and feel your foot pulse with the sidewalk all while walking to your tunes. Now, not any tune will do. I have my 15 track walk to work faves listed here for you:
1. Ryan Adams - New York, New York
2. Flaming Lips - A Spoonful Weighs a Ton
3. Notorious BIG - 10 crack commandments
4. Franz Ferdinand - Burn this City
5. Oasis - Round Our Way
6. AC/DC - Hells Bells
7. Nina Simone - Sinner Man
8. Eazy E - Easy-er said than done
9. tapes n' tapes - Insistor
10. Sons and Daughter - Johnny Cash
11. Neil Young - Down by the River
12. Trey Anastasio - Cayman Review
13. Martin Sexton - Angeline
14. Razor Light - Golden Touch
15. Drive-by Trucker - Daddy's Cup

My 3rd mode is just to walk. When I do this I tend to get sad. I see all the city dwellers. And as much as I would like to think I'm a city dweller, I am in fact, not one. I do not have that hard grimaced pumice face. I don't have the burden of the smog on my children's face. I have no wheel chair to push and pull, push and pull, push and pull with one leg and I have no need for the steam grates to keep me warm. I don't call a bench my home and I have no need to take the bus. The city is oppressive if you let it all in. Sometimes you just need a little music in your ears or a book under your eyes to make the waters you swim in seem a little less murky.

But, I tell you what, nothing makes me feel more alive than walking around a city.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

If you are a transvestite having a bad morning. You look 1000 times worse than any normal person having a bad morning. I was in front of a full blown transvestite today in line. It had on a business suit skirt blouse set. Its mustache had not been shaved and it was obviously a little hung over. The Adam's apple and the long fingers with bridged knuckles seemed to stand out more. It's toes barely fit into the high heels and when I looked at it, it seemed to just want to say and say in it's most manly voice, "What? What the fuck do you want?" But it didn't. It just cleared its throat and asked for a pack of Marlboro Lights in its most feminine voice.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Next 10 random songs from my Playlist -

1. Athlete - Wires >>> Athlete is in the same vain is Coldplay and StarSailor. Their songs "can" be more peppy and introspective as to their own demise and mortality but all-in-all they are to Coldplay what Yes was to Pink Floyd. Fortunately for me, this is their best song. They also do a pretty good cover of Alicia Keys' - If I ain't got you.

2. Peaches - Kick it >>> I heard her latest album is amazing and even more crazy than "Fatherfucker". I don't see how that is possible. This song features the ever younging Iggy Pop and is quite poppy for a rough edged girl like Peaches. I really like this song. Some Peaches lyric action:

Some people don't like my crotch
Because it's got fuzzy spots
But if you flame it
It's a neat burning bush baby
And that is just what I've got.

More power to ya Peaches.

3. Velvet Underground - Head Held High >>> This is from the Loaded album, which IMO is the best album of that year and of the Velvet Underground. It is just a perfect album. I have had the talk with a lot of people about what makes a song or an album or even a band good. And while I have struggled with a concrete answer I can honestly say that I know the root of everything great comes from it being genuine and effortless. I'm sure hard work goes into the creation process, but the place where the answers to that creativity come from is pure and effortless. You can feel the genuineness in certain song, albums, and bands. In the album Loaded and the song Head Held High by the Velvet Underground I absolutely get all those resonations.

4. Jackson Browne - Boulevard >>> Hmmm - oddly this song and this album were the only two things of Jackson Browne's to go to #1 on the Billboard charts. Wait, no, Somebody's Baby from Fast Times at Ridgemont High went to #1 but we won't really count that. Unfortunately, for everyone that bought this album they were either 5 records late into Jackson's amazing career or listening to it at home saying to themselves, "Fuck the 80's are gonna suck!". This album is everything bad that happened to music in the 80's. There are keyboards, and laser sounds, and way way way too many back ups singers. The guitar reverb was turned off and people were wearing piano ties. Somewhere in this album Jackson still doesn't lose all of his lyrical merit. He can still write a song but now he is just so lost in the sound of everyone else doing blow and counting their money that his identity as the poor man's Dylan is lost in the fog machines now on the stage.

5. Ice Cube - Check Yo Self >>> Back when Ice Cube was still fresh out of NWA and before the marketing success of Lethal Injection he released probably his best album Predator. It still sounded very early 80's West Side rap style. It has some interesting overlays as far as the zoom in's and zoom out's and whatever rift he lifted for the chorus. It's a great hook. And then he went and started to make movies...and really loving George Clinton too much...and joined West Side Connection...and...yep..."Friday after Next"... This song is still pretty good but I have to say my fave 'Cube song is still "Down fo Whatever'

6. The Roots - The Seed >>> Everyone loves this song because it may have the catchiest hook and chorus the year 2002 ever saw. Seriously, this song made The Roots an instant success after toiling in Philly anonymity and while sort of in the front of the Hip Hop scene that still really doesn't account for a ton when it comes to touring and selling albums. The song itself was almost not made because the sweet sounding voice of Cody Chestnutt, whoever that is. Apparently Cody wanted a damn good bit of money and then failed to show up for rehearsal etc... Anyway - let me tell you why I am mad at the Roots right now. I like the Roots and Common and Mos Def - these Hip Hop artists make sense to my white ass. But what I don't understand and what I thought they sort of stood against is selling out - but I guess what I said above is oddly ironical if that is the case - but let me tell you anyway that I saw their pictures (all 3 artists) on a flyer going around promoting their upcoming tour. The sponsor of their tour was...Kool...that's right Kool fucking cigarettes. I thought they were better than that.

7. Loretta Lynn / Jack White - Portland, Oregon >>> This is probably one of the best duets I have ever heard. Loretta Lynn is adored by Jack White and he even produced her last album and ...shhhh...played guitar on a number of tracks even though he isn't credited. They come together on this song like a boy with a crush on an older woman. You can hear Jack's love for Loretta Lynn and how he tries to carry her with his guitar. It was as if a son got his mother a new dress and sent her to the beauty salon just to take her out on the town for one night...or in this case...one song. I adore this song.

8. John Lennon - God >>

God is a concept,
By which we can measure,
Our pain,
I'll say it again,
God is a concept,
By which we can measure,
Our pain,
I don't believe in magic,
I don't believe in I-ching,
I don't believe in bible,
I don't believe in tarot,
I don't believe in Hitler,
I don't believe in Jesus,
I don't believe in Kennedy,
I don't believe in Buddha,
I don't believe in mantra,
I don't believe in Gita,
I don't believe in yoga,
I don't believe in kings,
I don't believe in Elvis,
I don't believe in Zimmerman,
I don't believe in Beatles,
I just believe in me,
Yoko and me,
And that's reality.
The dream is over,
What can I say?
The dream is over,
Yesterday,
I was a dreamweaver,
But now I'm reborn,
I was the walrus,
But now I'm John,
And so dear friends,
You just have to carry on,
The dream is over.

John always referred to his first album "Rubber Ono Band" as his eulogy to the 60's. Every time I hear this song I just see him pushing his arm out at the world and saying, "I've had enough. This is me. I am John. Nice to meet you again."

9. Masta Ace - Born to Roll >>> Nice follow up to a classic...lol... If you were from Baltimore County in 1993-1998 you listened to rap music. I don't care who you were but at some point you were in a car with 4 other teenage boys bobbing your head to Masta Ace. There was a base tube in the trunk and 18's in 12" slots on the side of the seats. The trunk of the car rattled and you thought you were cool as shit. That's this song in a nutshell. It's awful. But, it's also part of me in some way.

10. Seven Mary Three - Lucky >>> This is on my top 10 all time saddest songs ever list. This song just makes you want to curl up in your comforter and hold it as tight as you can against yourself and hit yourself in the stomach. The song is soft and then hard and then soft and you just want to hurt something when you hear it. You just want to take back all the lies and feelings of the past. This song is a really good stress reliever. For me at least...

Link posted by JVMM : 1:33 PM

 
Dropping Hard Eight Glasses

Sometimes I like to balance cups on their polar ends. So that they would be face to face and rear to rear. They would be open to open and closed to closed.

"11 Craps!" I just lost half my bank roll on that roll. I was hot and this cooler comes over to offer me a drink or a hot dog. She smelled like vanilla and rust and looked about as friendly as a dead dog. The dice came on back because I was the only one at the table.

Then 1 more showed, and one more, and 6 and then the green felt housed colors of the rainbow and the eyes were fixed. "The blonde kid can roll. He's hot as shit!" Then it was point after point after point and I wasn't banking. I was playing the pass line.

"Scratch throw!"

That's just how it goes sometimes when the dice seem to click together and hit off the table. Every single time you roll the dice they click, bang, thwap, and end up in the pit boss' lap. The old man at the end of the table sighs and looks at you as if you were some retard who didn't know how to roll dice. The mood changes.

"Give me those bones. I'll show you old man."
Bing! Bang! Clack! Thwap! And the pit boss was almost bloodied. Now you are nervous and the mojo has run out of your body. Your hands feel like anchors holding mice and not like pillows holding diamonds. You throw once more and it's craps. "11 Craps!" Your face sags and you realize that you hit 4 hards and naturals like it was your job but you failed to bet it.

"New shooter coming" out says the pit boss and you step aside. You are back on the rail with your 600 in chips and that look in your eyes. Your hard on is gone. So why are you still there? Walk away with the chips you have. You should walk away and go buy a steak as big as your foot. But you juggle the chips a little in your hand. You juggle them to remind yourself that you are comfortable around the chips, the winners, and the dice. You know what the hard 8 is for and you remember that to push back up is a good thing. You connect with the shooter. He's a 22 year old kid with a girl on his arm and a stiff drink in his hand. You have been moved to the end of the table but you can tell the kid is fearless in his eyes. You can even smell his cologne from where you are. You let it ride on him and he makes you a first pass.

"Coming out!"
"7!"

You clench your hands and look at the kid. You give him a wink and push it back up.

"Coming out!"
"11!"

Every bone in you says to walk away. You pick up your 2400 in chips and walk away. As you walk you hear the roars. "7!", "11!" "Hard Eight". You already have your back turned to the action and your chips are already nestled under your arm. You could have made 10 grand or more. You could have gambled with the young buck with the silver eyes and the neon dripping him off him like a fresh orgasm.

You could have had that moment.

But you walk like in slow motion with some good ole' blues song playing to downplay your beat. Your jeans aren't that cool anymore an dyour 22 year old tattoo now looks like old scotch in a dirty glass. You smell like failure and the eye rolls follow you around the room. Nothing about your walk says winner but you think other wise. You think it's like pounding down building with each steps. With each heel click there are women's heads turning and there are men wanting to buy your drinks and ask your advice. In actuality you just want out of there. You just want out with your crumbs and your anonymous dignity.

The chips jingle onto the marble counter and the woman in the red vest behind the gold gated window counts out your 24 one hundred dollar bills. She slides them through and you think about tipping her a 5 but instead you just light a cigarette and wad the money into your pocket and make off like you are still important.

I like to balance glasses on their polar opposite ends until they reach the ceiling. I like to build upwards in the safest way. There is no more risk to me. There isn't anything in me that screams that I'll ever be what I was intended to be. "Always trust your gut son." Well my gut says that it's all coming down the line soon and I'm going to be out in the cold just like my old man. I feel a loss coming on and I feel those glasses stacked so high that they aren't going to make it through the winter. How do you sell short in life? I could make a fortune.

I should bet the "Don't Pass" line.
Link posted by JVMM : 4:14 PM