So 40
40 is about what you would think it would be. Boring. The body doesn't work the same. No athletes are your age anymore. Everyone is busy. Friends drop away. Associates drop away. Everyone is a little meaner... a little shorter and somehow I am even more skeptical of intentions.
But what I do know is that I love my children. The most pressing issue in life becomes their lives. The idea of self and space shrink more - the idea of accomplishments shrink more... and that's dangerous because the example you set is the one they will follow. I need to get my head right. I need to focus - but I feel betrayed by every interaction - I feel lost in any endeavor and it all seems so pointless. But... it can't.
I need balance. I struggle with it.
