I Kan't SpellInsecurity The ugliest face That has no resolve Is the one you put on That will make it all desolve Doubt has no home Only a master Transgressions To the ignorant Or the child To see it and Not see it Or to ignore it; ignorance. To the offset If any virtue Lay selfish Brutish Ill-mannered intentions Lie just beneath The mark of good And on top of The possibility of success. Learn Or fail Kids today I took Ella and Wells to a rope climbing zip line course. It was hard. It was harder than I expected. I had taken them before but either did the easy ones with Pickle or watched - today they asked and I did it with them. And for the first time… I knew 2 things 1. That they were better at this than I was. I don’t remember being better at much else than me - but this was obvious. Especially with Wells who is a brave little guy. Braver than I was at that age for sure. And Ella with similar fears as mine to heights - conquered those fears with grace. 2. My kids are going to be better than I ever was. And that’s amazing. Way out there … in the “bloop” Of the fishing lure Hitting a still lake Hails the distance Of keen eye Tinkering That can change Your world Forever John Lee Hooker Read between the Times No Lines That she knew Would pass Unnoted and flat So long ago You fool Learning in a week Here’s what we learned this week. 1. Be present all the time 2. Don’t take someone else’s desire to share things with you for granted 3. Your feelings are important but the way you behave can hurt others and you need to understand their response and feelings. 4. Act with intent. Don’t wait. Get it done now. Get it done everyday. 5. You can’t make someone feel or do something they don’t want to - no matter what. So - be better earlier and always. So you won’t have regrets. 6. If you lose - you lose. But you move forward. Because others are waiting for you to be awesome. 7. Don’t make it about yourself 8. Don’t pass your negativity on like it’s a gift - it’s not 9. Other people want to feel happy - that happens many different ways - make sure you see signs of their happiness and remember them. These are valuable lessons to learn. Pit When you know The feeling of “I’m sorry but…” Is coming. Or you think its coming It gives me a fever And nausea And it’s my least Favorite feeling. Need more steel. I’ve got it. I’m going to show it. Tempest Early to noon Follows down The time you took To right wrongs; And to honestly Sit with the wind- Reminding you That you can only control Your reaction to the rain. Instead of cowering, Stand for what you want, What you believe And fight for the sky Outside the eye Sadly I have created a world Where no one cares If I’m here or a birthday Or a father Or a sun Or the time That comes With the passing of peace I have become The fear That I harbor To the point Where I can not pretend But I want love And love won’t find Falsehoods wrapped in Skepticism Multiplied by doubt So the birthday sun Sleeps slower To the side Of all missed In aisles of smiles Food and love Wells and I went and had lunch and a haircut today. I had my first ever pit beef submarine sandwich. And I told him that the place we ate was pretty good. Now the place we ate was a rundown shithole though. As a matter of fact it’s all turning into that here. It’s likely time to move north or somewhere else. I should have explained to him that food - like love - can be found in any enivorment. Food doesn’t take any certain extreme skill - it takes love. To make something good you need to pay attention, think of your audience, think of them enjoying it and the happiness it brings. Then you need to do it over and over every day. And that’s love. Your brain needs to heal I think the anxiety, euphoria, or laziness caused by drugs or alcohol eventually seeps into your psyche and convinces you that’s who you are. How many people do you know identify as stoners, alcoholics, or drug addicts? Thats who they are… they joke about it, live it everyday as if that shouldn’t tell them that this is who they are. Some are proud of it even and then that’s who they become. And its sad. If you drink everyday that’s a part of you. If you do drugs everyday that’s a part of you. Same as going to the gym or going to work. More so even because you’re escaping maybe. That pattern has to stop before it becomes permanent. I’ve already lead down that path far too far. And I better become much more intellectual, quiet, and strong before it’s too late. I think being a real bad ass is actually being the best person you can be and not some guy that drinks or does drugs. Thats a real badass. You can have a drink - but you should never get drunk. You shouldn’t joke about bad behaviors. It makes you look like a peasant. I want to live my life from now on - and it better start now before it’s too damn late. The 3 of you I think every father wants to say last words to his children - tonight I had a dream about it but wanted to mark it down Ella - my oldest, my first ever real love, so strong and smart with the biggest heart that anyone who is worthy would know its value from so far. The day you were born my life changed for so much better. You made me fall in love with being alive and every second ive ever spent with you I take with me in everything I do. You made me want to be a better person. Wells - my son. My smart - so smart and funny son. I always wanted a son just like you. I always wanted my best friend and you never disappointed. You beat all the odds and I know you’re going to grow to be a great man and a great friend. I’m so proud of everything you do and I couldn’t love anything more than you. Sometimes when you sleep I sit outside your door and thank God for you. I thank him for giving me the opportunity to be the person I always wanted to be - and you made that happen. Piper - you are the light of our family, You are the energy and the chosen one out of all of us. You’re pure and funny and smart and eager and you’re the one that will take your brother and sister farther. You’re the legacy I always wanted because I know you’ll do great things for others. I hope to see your life shine on with that light from any distance. You’re the most special of all of us. Don’t you ever quit on them. They need you. And you’re too important to forget that. 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