Biz-Poliz / Ahh Grah Chah's
Yeah that title makes no sense but oh well. So I have been doing a lot of thinking about my possible bi-polar disorder and am wondering if it doesn't make me more interesting. I also wonder what causes it, like i'm pretty sure it's chemical and all but I wonder if I give it a catalyst when I drink or date or write. I don't know. I know my body releases different chemicals when I do different things but I would like to be able to pinpoint what makes me all quiet and slightly depressed some days when I wake up. I think we are all like this sometimes but I think that mine may be a little worse than most because it always seems to be heightened by loud manners and an arrogant if not oppresive attitude towards any conversation. I don't know. I'm working on it but it's so hard to control, like I was just reading my blog and 3 blogs ago I was like "woo 16 days yeah!" and today i'm like "Damnit to all hell 14 days and I have so much to deal with when I get back and so much to deal with here before I leave." But seriously ya'll Bret (Joe Horn..hahaha) ain't bithcin. When I get home it'll be all good. I know it will because the love you take is equal to the love you make (oh god that was a bad lift). Anyway, just stick with me until I can get some of these social notes down or can start doing some research on my observances as other's have. I think that's what I am going to be into for a little while. Really, researching some of the things I think instead of just thinking them. Instead of being a slob about my theories and just blurting them out like a drunk at a baseball game and telling the pitcher he sucks, I would like to calm and cool watch others propose and then like the wonderful people I read about simply offer an argument as a gentleman (we can all laugh now at seeing me try to do this!). But, it's a goal and you have to have them.
Oh yeah the "Ahh Grah Chah's" portion of my title. That's from the VJC days and I look forward to seeing those kids as much as I look forward to seeing everyone else(even though they are everyone else). It was nice, and I think important, that I went and played baseball again and tried to be a part of a circle in college instead of just sticking to my childhood and work friends like I had planned to do when I chose that "hole" of a school. I met some wonderful people there and I can't wait to see them when I get back. And "Ahh Grah Chah" is short for the "ultimate grilled cheese" (which one of the baseball freshmen will be purchasing for me when I get back)...it consists of texas style grilled toast with butter, 3 cheeses (Mozz, swiss, americano), green peppers, bacon, ham, onions (raw and fried), tomato (one on the top and one on the bottom), and tabasco sauce with parmesan cheese sprinkled in. Now that's food my people.
