Miss Me?
Well probably not. But, I've been a little busy and running around doing stuff. So let me fill you in. I've been doing charitable work for the Bret Foundation for the last 2 weeks. This includes a little part time work for the www.americanweddings.net directory and also doing a whole bunch of work with acronyms such as PBX and ATA and PPOeP and God knows what else. But, things are looking up...sort of...Haven't made my decision on Korea but it appears as though they are going to make the decision for me by not offering anymore money than they did before, hence making it even more ridiculous for me to leave. Not that it wasn't already ridiculous in the first place...but hey...a guys gotta laugh.
Hey Baltimore companies...I'm a damn good commodity and I bathe regularly. I don't look at computers and run away slapping my own forehead screaming. So, hire me!
I keep coming back to the same rational. That rational being, the only reason I stay is because the people I know would be disappointed. (well that and cheese and remembering how I almost went insane for a month)I haven't really figured out if that guilty conscience is good or not.(And don't give me the pipe line canned bullshit answer of "screw what people think...") All I have is my extended family (pretty much) and those worldly items of my affection that I hoped to one day attain under a fountain of gold that is continuously spewing liquid platinum over myself and four women who are all rolling around in bikinis made out of gold bouillon have seemingly gone...what's left...? dunno...what isn't left or what has gone is easy...I have lost the ability to shrug off those I love in the face of what I don't understand or fear...oddly what I fear is them sometimes...oh what a huge conundrum. I know the feeling of unification via guilt or self-reflection is good because the people around you should always be a barometer for how well you're doing. (Not in that way...dick...) If people stop calling you...or not necessarily stop calling you..because face it...your tribe dwindles as you get older...but if your tribe refuses your calls or cuts you short..or doesn't really have time for your problems...then...you need to check the mirror...or even better check the tribe. Luckily my tribe still lets me hold the sacred flame from time to time when it rains because they know if need be I'll go to someone else's hut, kick down the door and take their flame if ours goes out. Now I know I got some love. I have had so many instances of love in the past month that it's just friggin awesome. My life...should I I choose to live it humbly and mannered, could be one of substance(I'm not quitting..I'm just choosing to be the dorky alter-ego for a while...). Unfortunately that may take a full frontal lobe lobotomy...but hey one more episode of West Wing at 10 AM on Bravo every morning and I'm not too far off...I guess what I'm saying is I'm sorta screwy and sometimes I like it. Sometimes I don't like it. Most importantly is that you all know that I always try to do right by you at every turn. That's not what I wanted to say at all and it had no relevance to what I wrote prior...but...I guess that sort of fits into everything anyway.
Now that I have read this, it looks like a bowl of spaghetti and a seperate bowl of sauce fell on the floor and oddly looked eatable.
