Bretholmes.com - Bret Holmes Baltimore Md

    Investment News   |    DON'T   |    WORK   |    STOP   |    CRYING!   |    GUESTBOOK   |

I Kan't Spell



Thursday, May 13, 2004

 
Observations from Turners

I found a bar in Federal Hill that I enjoy going to. It's called Turners and you can usually find me there on Friday and Saturday night. Why do I enjoy this bar? Well...it has the coolest 6'2" Russian bartender named Yanna and a little dude named Jeff that is cool with me and loves what I play on the jukebox. The main reason, is that it's never crowded. The other reason is that it's a martini bar. Now I'm not a martini bar kind of person. But any aspect of a bar in Federal Hill that keeps the meat away from the market is good to me. I mean you are usually outnumbered 1.5 - 1 girls to boys. And the girls are hotter and more dressed up. You don't see a lot of mass bud light orders going out to a section of guys in the latest Banana Republic gear. It's more like a couples bar I guess. They have Jameson there so I'm good.

So last night after the strippers (read below) I went to Turner's. Now Yanna wasn't working and neither was the other hot girl that works there, Christine. The only reason I know Christine is that I almost got into a fight with her boyfriend...but we're cool now I guess. Anyway...I was there and a bartender that I had never seen, Tori was there with some other dude. Tori is a bombshell. I mean...she looks like she could be an ice sculpture of the hottest porn star in the world. She was wearing a huge orchid in her ear and had a self made shirt on that barely kept her 44 Double D's in there. Anyway..she was talking to some guy who's a radio station manager at 95.9. And we started talking a little about music and he told me he was a (now what was it?) a....a....something like a musical sociological historian. He was talking about how African Americans have been getting ripped off forever and how music is so vital and trivial at the same time. It sounded good, but you could tell from his delivery that he had given that speech about 50 times...so it didn't seem quite as fresh...and when someone give a speech for the 50th time there's no way the audience is getting a word in edge-wise. This sort of got me thinking about the appeal of hip hop to white suburbia. It sort of got me thinking about how passive music is, but at the same time, there may be no bigger piece of media that can segregate a culture like music can.

I started thinking about how we dress and whom we interact with. I started thinking about that, and could really only take myself as my first test sample, but for most urban/suburban youths, music plays a pretty big role in choosing groups of people. It also plays a big role in your costume. It plays a big role in your habits and ability to accept certain habits as ok, or denounce them as evil. It plays a role in your nightlife. I mean obviously, if you do something or like something it helps to define you. But I like steak, and steak doesn't really affect the way I dress or who I hang out with. I like the TV show West Wing, but again, I don't feel the need to dress like Toby or Josh as an extension of my being able to enjoy the show. But I do like Britpop, and I do like me some suburb punk. And I own, and search for witty t-shirts. I look for ways to look aloof and unbothered by trite things like jobs or money. I order scotch and water while wearing a scarf in doors. I pride myself in being able to talk in movie lines that correlate back to the same type of music found on their soundtrack. any who...

Another observation I had was the hot girl and her breeding ritual. The bartender Christina rolled into the bar. She was dressed to absolutely kill. I mean her ass was hanging out of her skirt and her huge titties were just mashed together enough to pop out of a turtleneck. It was quite impressive. But you know what that outfit does?

It says two things, and I commend her on one. The first thing it does is make people look at her.

The second thing it does, and this is commendable, is that it wards away potential male suitors unable to mate with her. Now that may seem animalistic but let's face facts. The average man sees a strong dominant female, with a body that is obviously quite adept at breeding, all her plumage is showing, and she is unstoppable. The average man sees these dominant traits, looks, desires, and then is thwarted by his own conscious, or a more suitable male. He basically sees this and instinctively covets and then cowers. He knows he does not have the ability to breed with her. He does not have the nerve or the fortitude to approach. That's a sad thing about our culture but it's true. And what is commendable is that she will go home with a man who is suited to breed with her. She will create a more dominant human being simply by having selected an appropiate-mating outfit. Girls who wear bullshit ass baggy pants or dress like they don't want to be impressed and shit like that, those are people that have diseased children that grow up to be weak and odd. The person that the breeeder copulates with will probably churn out a healthy offspring that will carry these dominant traits with it to once again super breed.

The last thing I noticed, and this is one that I've been hearing for a while, is the bullshit ass way people say they don't care about the way they look. Now I take huge offense to this when it pertains to one sect of people, the "punk" or "emo" people are usually the one to utter the "I don't care" phrase. And when they do I can't help but chuckle and think that the mohawk they are wearing is the way their hair looked when they woke up. Or the vintage McGyver t-shirt that so aptly fits their svelt torso is merely something that they found on their floor. In order to realy punch holes in them, I want to first look at their opposite. Let's look at the people that "punks" and "emo's" seemingly think do care what they look like. Let's look at the rich.

I'm going to define rich people by their superficialities. In this case, one who has to wear a uniform for all occasions. One who has to have a robe for the bathroom, a pair of bluchers for yachting and monogrammed towels for their indoor pool. Rich is not living in a nice suburban community and driving a Lexus. That's nice, but it's not really rich. The real rich people have costumes. They wear clothes whose maker can be identified by a certain cut, fabric, or emblem. They wear either traditional or current conservative, yet changing hairstyles. They engage in activities suited for their ilk. Activities such as polo, yachting, extreme world travel. They enjoy purchasing things like Persian rugs and crystal vases that house fake flowers by Faberge'. They live a life surrounded by items and events that one can easily identify them by.

Now let's define the "punk" and "emo" crew. The crew that so apparently doesn't "care" about how they dress. In this case one who has to wear a uniform for all occasions. One who has not one, but at least 7 concert t-shirts of varying levels of obscure bands that have strategic if not "planted" holes and rips. They wear trendy shoes, whether it be the light fitting Clarks, old Nike's with the waffle iron tread, or doc martins. They take comfort in knowing that their jeans are old, and that their hairstyle is one that is current and being mocked by the up and coming bands that they go to see. They engage in activities with their fellow "slackers" such as cheap Irish bars with good juke boxes, seeing bands at dive clubs on the weekend, or simply passing out on the floor at a flop house. They live a life surrounded by items and events that one can easily identify them by.


Both of these people have costumes, it's just that the "rich" group understands their costume as being a chain, and the other group thinks their costume gives them freedom. One group has money to buy crazy shit like $10,000 class eggs. And the other prides themselves in knowing the cook at the local Sip n' Bite who can give them free pancakes at 5 am. We all wear costumes people. Hey, you want to see some people that really don't give a shit about what they wear, go to a corporation and visit the mid-level programmers. They couldn't care less. Now that's punk...

Comments:
Hello, I am a korean visitor, good to see you.
I am sure that your blog page looks great to me which mean looking crowded so, I would like to let everybodies know korea information official site korea.net same as Dynamic korea - contains all about korea news and informations, please let me introducel this cool site. Dynamic korea offer korea travel, culture, food, arts and government info exactly what you want to knowkorean english dictionary. You better check it out some time.
 
Post a Comment



Favorites List
Pandora Song List
Amazon Wish List
Reading
Revolutionary Wealth - Tofflers
Brian Jones

Things Making Me Smile
The City
Newness
Listening - [out of 5]
Benjy Ferree - 4.8
The Thermals 3.1
David Gray 3.8

Quote(S)
Like the guy with the beard? YES - like the guy with the beers. What? Yep

Bands That I Check Schedules For
Badly Drawn Boy
Belle and Sebastian
Benjy Ferree
The Black Keys
Deerhoof
Drive By Truckers
The Eels
Enon
Kimya Dawson
Mark Hopkins Band
Oasis
Iron and Wine
Mates of State
Ted Leo
Travis
Two if By Sea
Ween

Places I Rock in the Flesh
9:30 Club
Black Cat
Electric Factory
Fletcher's
8x10
The Knitting Factory
The Otto Bar
Recher Theatre
Sonar

Places I Eat/Drink in the Flesh
Aldo's
Bishop's Collar
Boccacio's
Cross Street Market
Hull Street
Joun Gak
Mick O'Shea's
No Way Jose
Porter's
The Irish Pub
Turner's
The Waterfront Hotel

My Greatest Hits (that's so lame)

The time I almost killed a child
July 4th in Korea
Excerpts from Demian
Why I screen phone calls
Bret's Death Metal Report
A conversation at a cocktail party
A conversation at breakfast
So you think you are a Baltimorian
A conversation about a girl singer
Observations from a bar
Observations of strippers
Tech Language
Why I love Oasis
I would go to war
"You Son of a Bitch" An Open Letter to Tom Friend
Dance to Your Ocean
Dream Ranch
When men become pussies
Jason Whitlock is a racist propaganda promoter
Pitchfork takes music snobbery to new level
The Cosmic Clash of the Red Sox and Cubs
The Hatred that is Runts Candy
Starting corporate line-up
Google Bio
Do you know me? List 1 / List 2 / List 3
The Night I Burned Philly Down
So You Want to be a Booze Hound
She Said it was Free
Funniest Corporate Story Ever
Striped Shirts and the Fucks that Wear Them
Death Peddle
NEW!!!
Pieces of Morning
Oasis Album Revew
The Art of Tipping
Starting Fires With Grass Stains
Bret's Federal Hill Food Review
Sexcapades and your Picture on the Internet
Stupid Secrets
Stupid Secrets the Return


Contact Me

Stuff I Swing By From Time to Time

- MUSIC
Donewaiting.com
hive3.com
Indie Video Archive
Large Hearted Boy
Important Records
Oasis News
Pitch Fork Media
Reptilian Records
Scenestars MP3 Blogs
Sound Garden Baltimore

- BUY
Aloud.com
Pre-Shrunk
Shotgun Apparel
Warrior Clothing

- HUMOR
Angry Little Girls
Atom Films
Eye Envision
Homestar Runner
Kill Frog
Junior Varsity Meat Market

- PERSONAL
Baltimore City Paper
The Baltimore Sun
Calvert Hall
Degroen's Brewers
ESL Cafe
Fantasy Sports
Korean Herald
Villa Julie College Baseball
W3 Schools



Archives
06/01/2003 - 07/01/2003
07/01/2003 - 08/01/2003
08/01/2003 - 09/01/2003
09/01/2003 - 10/01/2003
10/01/2003 - 11/01/2003
11/01/2003 - 12/01/2003
12/01/2003 - 01/01/2004
01/01/2004 - 02/01/2004
04/01/2004 - 05/01/2004
05/01/2004 - 06/01/2004
06/01/2004 - 07/01/2004
07/01/2004 - 08/01/2004
08/01/2004 - 09/01/2004
09/01/2004 - 10/01/2004
10/01/2004 - 11/01/2004
11/01/2004 - 12/01/2004
12/01/2004 - 01/01/2005
01/01/2005 - 02/01/2005
02/01/2005 - 03/01/2005
03/01/2005 - 04/01/2005
04/01/2005 - 05/01/2005
05/01/2005 - 06/01/2005
06/01/2005 - 07/01/2005
07/01/2005 - 08/01/2005
08/01/2005 - 09/01/2005
09/01/2005 - 10/01/2005
10/01/2005 - 11/01/2005
11/01/2005 - 12/01/2005
12/01/2005 - 01/01/2006
01/01/2006 - 02/01/2006
02/01/2006 - 03/01/2006
03/01/2006 - 04/01/2006
04/01/2006 - 05/01/2006
05/01/2006 - 06/01/2006
06/01/2006 - 07/01/2006
07/01/2006 - 08/01/2006
08/01/2006 - 09/01/2006
09/01/2006 - 10/01/2006
10/01/2006 - 11/01/2006
11/01/2006 - 12/01/2006
12/01/2006 - 01/01/2007
01/01/2007 - 02/01/2007
02/01/2007 - 03/01/2007
03/01/2007 - 04/01/2007
04/01/2007 - 05/01/2007
05/01/2007 - 06/01/2007
06/01/2007 - 07/01/2007
07/01/2007 - 08/01/2007
08/01/2007 - 09/01/2007
09/01/2007 - 10/01/2007
10/01/2007 - 11/01/2007
11/01/2007 - 12/01/2007
12/01/2007 - 01/01/2008
01/01/2008 - 02/01/2008
02/01/2008 - 03/01/2008
03/01/2008 - 04/01/2008
04/01/2008 - 05/01/2008
05/01/2008 - 06/01/2008
06/01/2008 - 07/01/2008
07/01/2008 - 08/01/2008
08/01/2008 - 09/01/2008
09/01/2008 - 10/01/2008
10/01/2008 - 11/01/2008
11/01/2008 - 12/01/2008
12/01/2008 - 01/01/2009
01/01/2009 - 02/01/2009
02/01/2009 - 03/01/2009
03/01/2009 - 04/01/2009
04/01/2009 - 05/01/2009
05/01/2009 - 06/01/2009
06/01/2009 - 07/01/2009
07/01/2009 - 08/01/2009
08/01/2009 - 09/01/2009
09/01/2009 - 10/01/2009
10/01/2009 - 11/01/2009
11/01/2009 - 12/01/2009
12/01/2009 - 01/01/2010
01/01/2010 - 02/01/2010
02/01/2010 - 03/01/2010
03/01/2010 - 04/01/2010
04/01/2010 - 05/01/2010
05/01/2010 - 06/01/2010
06/01/2010 - 07/01/2010
07/01/2010 - 08/01/2010
08/01/2010 - 09/01/2010
09/01/2010 - 10/01/2010
10/01/2010 - 11/01/2010
11/01/2010 - 12/01/2010
12/01/2010 - 01/01/2011
01/01/2011 - 02/01/2011
02/01/2011 - 03/01/2011
03/01/2011 - 04/01/2011
04/01/2011 - 05/01/2011
05/01/2011 - 06/01/2011
06/01/2011 - 07/01/2011
12/01/2011 - 01/01/2012
01/01/2012 - 02/01/2012
07/01/2012 - 08/01/2012
08/01/2012 - 09/01/2012
09/01/2012 - 10/01/2012
10/01/2012 - 11/01/2012
11/01/2012 - 12/01/2012
01/01/2013 - 02/01/2013
04/01/2013 - 05/01/2013
06/01/2013 - 07/01/2013
07/01/2013 - 08/01/2013
08/01/2013 - 09/01/2013
09/01/2013 - 10/01/2013
10/01/2013 - 11/01/2013
11/01/2013 - 12/01/2013
12/01/2013 - 01/01/2014
01/01/2014 - 02/01/2014
02/01/2014 - 03/01/2014
03/01/2014 - 04/01/2014
04/01/2014 - 05/01/2014
05/01/2014 - 06/01/2014
06/01/2014 - 07/01/2014
07/01/2014 - 08/01/2014
08/01/2014 - 09/01/2014
10/01/2014 - 11/01/2014
11/01/2014 - 12/01/2014
12/01/2014 - 01/01/2015
01/01/2015 - 02/01/2015
02/01/2015 - 03/01/2015
03/01/2015 - 04/01/2015
04/01/2015 - 05/01/2015
05/01/2015 - 06/01/2015
06/01/2015 - 07/01/2015
07/01/2015 - 08/01/2015
08/01/2015 - 09/01/2015
10/01/2015 - 11/01/2015
11/01/2015 - 12/01/2015
12/01/2015 - 01/01/2016
01/01/2016 - 02/01/2016
03/01/2016 - 04/01/2016
06/01/2016 - 07/01/2016
07/01/2016 - 08/01/2016
08/01/2016 - 09/01/2016
10/01/2016 - 11/01/2016
11/01/2016 - 12/01/2016
02/01/2017 - 03/01/2017
03/01/2017 - 04/01/2017
04/01/2017 - 05/01/2017
05/01/2017 - 06/01/2017
07/01/2017 - 08/01/2017
08/01/2017 - 09/01/2017
10/01/2017 - 11/01/2017