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I Kan't Spell



Friday, July 30, 2004

 
A Concersation at a Cocktail Party
"Where's my water." This little fucking kid, I'd say about 4, in some no name friend's house looks up at me and he thinks I know.

"Where's my water?"
"I don't fucking know?"
"You cursed."
"Yeah."
"I'm telling."
"That's a bad habit."
"What is?"
"Telling on people."
"Well, I'm telling my Dad."
"Who is your dad?"
"Umm..."
"You don't know your dads name? You are fucking dumb."
"Now I'm reeeeaaalllly telling."
"You'll never get your water then."
"Yes, I will"
"No, you won't."
"Yes, I will"
"No, you won’t"
.
.
.
.
"Yes, I will"
"No, you won't"
"Why not?”
"Because I drank all the fucking water."
"You're mean."
"No I'm not."
"Yes, you are"
"No, I'm not"
.
.
.
.
"Yes, you are"
"No, I'm not"
"Why did you curse?"
"Because I can use words to inflict reaction."

The kid looks at me dumbfounded. I looked back and didn't say a word. Then I pushed him to the side with my foot and changed the channel on the TV.

His Dad comes over to me later, not my friend who owns the house coincidentally, and says, "Hey buddy. My son says you cursed and were mean to him."

"Yeah, I'm sorry about that. I guess he shouldn't bother people."
"That's pretty rude."
"Are you a woman? Do you plan on teaching that kid how to be a woman?"
--no response—
"Stop acting like a woman. That's what women are for. To act like women. We are here to act like men, not a watered down version of a man but men."
"Who are you?
"My friends call me Scharf sometimes. You can call me Larry."
"I thought your name was Bret."
"Oh yeah?"
"Yeah."
"Larry will do."



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Favorites List
Pandora Song List
Amazon Wish List
Reading
Revolutionary Wealth - Tofflers
Brian Jones

Things Making Me Smile
The City
Newness
Listening - [out of 5]
Benjy Ferree - 4.8
The Thermals 3.1
David Gray 3.8

Quote(S)
Like the guy with the beard? YES - like the guy with the beers. What? Yep

Bands That I Check Schedules For
Badly Drawn Boy
Belle and Sebastian
Benjy Ferree
The Black Keys
Deerhoof
Drive By Truckers
The Eels
Enon
Kimya Dawson
Mark Hopkins Band
Oasis
Iron and Wine
Mates of State
Ted Leo
Travis
Two if By Sea
Ween

Places I Rock in the Flesh
9:30 Club
Black Cat
Electric Factory
Fletcher's
8x10
The Knitting Factory
The Otto Bar
Recher Theatre
Sonar

Places I Eat/Drink in the Flesh
Aldo's
Bishop's Collar
Boccacio's
Cross Street Market
Hull Street
Joun Gak
Mick O'Shea's
No Way Jose
Porter's
The Irish Pub
Turner's
The Waterfront Hotel

My Greatest Hits (that's so lame)

The time I almost killed a child
July 4th in Korea
Excerpts from Demian
Why I screen phone calls
Bret's Death Metal Report
A conversation at a cocktail party
A conversation at breakfast
So you think you are a Baltimorian
A conversation about a girl singer
Observations from a bar
Observations of strippers
Tech Language
Why I love Oasis
I would go to war
"You Son of a Bitch" An Open Letter to Tom Friend
Dance to Your Ocean
Dream Ranch
When men become pussies
Jason Whitlock is a racist propaganda promoter
Pitchfork takes music snobbery to new level
The Cosmic Clash of the Red Sox and Cubs
The Hatred that is Runts Candy
Starting corporate line-up
Google Bio
Do you know me? List 1 / List 2 / List 3
The Night I Burned Philly Down
So You Want to be a Booze Hound
She Said it was Free
Funniest Corporate Story Ever
Striped Shirts and the Fucks that Wear Them
Death Peddle
NEW!!!
Pieces of Morning
Oasis Album Revew
The Art of Tipping
Starting Fires With Grass Stains
Bret's Federal Hill Food Review
Sexcapades and your Picture on the Internet
Stupid Secrets
Stupid Secrets the Return


Contact Me

Stuff I Swing By From Time to Time

- MUSIC
Donewaiting.com
hive3.com
Indie Video Archive
Large Hearted Boy
Important Records
Oasis News
Pitch Fork Media
Reptilian Records
Scenestars MP3 Blogs
Sound Garden Baltimore

- BUY
Aloud.com
Pre-Shrunk
Shotgun Apparel
Warrior Clothing

- HUMOR
Angry Little Girls
Atom Films
Eye Envision
Homestar Runner
Kill Frog
Junior Varsity Meat Market

- PERSONAL
Baltimore City Paper
The Baltimore Sun
Calvert Hall
Degroen's Brewers
ESL Cafe
Fantasy Sports
Korean Herald
Villa Julie College Baseball
W3 Schools



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