Whatever that was on TV
So yeah I watched the debate last night. I don't really think I'd call it a debate as much as it was two monkeys trying not to get too close to the laser shield but still putting on enough of a show to get the banana that they so covet.
I guess I feel like it's my civic duty to have two clowns justify my feeling of political wantonness and indifference. And that they did without a doubt. I have to say that Kerry, despite fumbling every opportunity to crush our current evil leader, he seemed somehow, more adept at being less of a fuck. The same way Bush seemed more adept at being less of a pussy when he and Gore went head to head.
Here's my quick recap of the debate as I remember it:
"Iraq. Iraq. Iraq. My opponent this. My opponent that. This president can't this. This president can't that. I don't know. Alliance. Oil. Iraq. Iraq. Iraq. Umm, umm, Saddam I mean Osama. Umm, umm, umm, umm,...Homeland security. 30 billion! 30 billion more!!!??? Ahhh! 1984. Ahhh! Canada sounds lovely in 2006. Oh wait they won't let me leave. Umm, umm, umm, Iraq, Iraq. Tony Blair is my buddy. Saddam is bad. We won. Troops. Body armor. Tanks. More ARMY!!?. Offensive is the way to win the world, I mean war. Iraq. Iraq. His cards got jumbled up and now he's lost. He has said the word "folks" and has used verb endings incorrectly at least 10 times. "The soldiers is doing a great a job" *was that my president who said that? Iraq. Iraq. Oil. Some company making money. Kerry peppering again with another heart warming 2 sentence story about a mother selling her teeth to send her son a flack jacket. Iraq. Afghanistan. Some Islamic name that Bush has been practicing for weeks. Kerry looks like he's 150. Iraq. Iraq. Iraq. Who cares anymore? Our country is no longer enviable? Justice schmustice. Iraq. Where's Nader? Why doesn't Nader get to debate? Why doesn't Sharpton get to debate? This sucks. Puffy and his Mohawk and MTV and Eddie Vedder can all suck my dick."
I mean if you want me to vote for Kerry you are just fucking mistaken. I'll vote republican any day before I vote democrat I just won't vote for any republican I just believe in their agenda more I guess. Taxes suck, civil liberties like guns and stuff are good...God is kind of a weird leverage so that makes me cringe but damned if I'm voting for Democrats...eww...Democrats are like a sweet old grandmother from a hundred yards away - "Hey Granny. Oh it's been so long. Hey Granny? Why are you taking my money and giving it to the homeless people? Granny, you look the same as ugly uncle Republican up close only he at least takes 7% less of my money".
Anyway - What would actually be cool would be if everyone voted for Kermit the Frog or "Any fucking loser anywhere as long as he isn't controlled by rich fat greasy white people with loads of money." If that was a check box and I voted or you had to vote I guarantee it would bring at least 30%.
