Chat With the Lord
Me:Sup God
Lord:Sup Bret
Me:Not much dude. Hey Let me ask you a question?
Lord:Sure, I always got time for my people. Oh wait, hold up, there's a flood in India and a child about to die in a car crash. OK there we go.
Me:How'd that come out for us?
Lord:Saved the kid, lost the town. You know how it goes. So what's up?
Me:Ahh nothin....just wondered what you though about old GW getting reelected.
Lord:I have to admit I'm pretty pumped.
Me:Really? How come?
Lord:Are you kidding? Man there's gonna be all kinds of people fighting in my name. You know how hot that is? It's like being a girl and watching two guys fight for your love.
Me:So whose side are you on anyway? The Christians, The Muslims, The Jews, Buddhist, Shintoist, umm mine.
Lord:Wouldn't you like to know.
Me:Hell yeah. Oh, sorry for the cursing. So I mean tell me something. You are God.
Lord:Do you pressure all your friends for this much advice. I wish once someone would give me answers.
Me:OK. You suck for allowing the greatest idea in the history of mankind to go down the shitter. The United States of America was beautiful at one time, at least the idea sort of was, well the document anyway.
Lord:Hey you have free will, and so did all your ancestors. I'm going to go play with the sheep. They never bitch.
