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I Kan't Spell



Wednesday, January 19, 2005

 
Korea Revisited

So it's been over a year since I have been back from Korea and I swear not a day goes by that I don't think about returning. Anyway, I noticed that since I linked to that Korean story about the Playboys that some people have googled me and that those two blogs have referenced me and they have started to peak through my earlier posts about Korea. Even though I only started that blog in my last few months there I thought I would grab some highlights from it.
    Well here I am in a club on a computer because...well it's cool to write in the moment when the evening is dying down at 4 am...it was an interesting night...sweaty as always...I had to ring out my shirt in the bathroom...there are no air conditioners anywhere....why why why...well...wait someone wants to write in hangul real quick...Æ“ 홓 Ö´ 배�래...모 ã Ã¡‹ 뵤...that's hello...she's cute you should see her...this culture is so weird to have computers in clubs...I mean these are the big lcd screens with touch screens and everything...
Most of these have to do with girls. Hell all of my posts have to do with girls but this was a great night. It was these two Japanese teachers and me and they were adorable. I mean pony tails, skirts, knee socks, the whole bit. Memories...
    on my way down...catching the train at 10:30 I was approached by a bunch of drunk college kids who decided to tell me how much they don't like me because I am American...I explained to them that every whore hates it's pimp and that if they came to my country I wouldn't bother them or even acknowledge that they existed - - - later on when I got to the club I noticed that it was semi-empty...the Hyatt club is sometimes rough to get into and it can turn people off...it costs like 40 bucks to get in but it's worth it...so I went in and had a pretty interesting evening...I was sweating way too much and was somewhat apprehensive about it until a little cute Korean girl with silver hair and just pure hotness and cuteness dripping from her...came over and asked me to join her and her friends at another table...I went over sat down and noticed that a television camera was sitting on the seat next to one of the men opposite us and then I turned around and saw that the stage at the Hyatt was being turned into a real stage and not just an elevated dance floor...and that I was like HOLY SHIT! this is that girl from MTV Korea...she spoke perfect English...but the rub is...she thought I was somebody else...she called me Dan and I was like...umm...no I'm not Dan
This was a good night as I was on TV. But this was also a night I did a lot of thinking about wanting to go home. I remember walking down to the Hahn River and throwing stones in while crying.
    Oh you don't know the smell range that goes on here...when I first got here I gagged for the first week or so when I woke up in the morning...then I thought I just got used to it...but...unfortunately that was just the backend of the smell season...the front end is hitting me now...you see Korea has above ground sewage...all of it...the streets...the little ditches...the toilets pump right into it...this is an advancing metropolis right?...luckily it rains everyday now for about 6 hours so the smell gets sort of dampened down but in the mornings...you literally get into the shower or poke your head out of doors and feel like you might puke...but then your body adjusts a little and you realize that...hey, it's all good...I'm just breathing turds....so the range of smells is the best...from turds to kimchi (for those who dont know...kimchi is pickled cabbage, red pepper, and some form of death t
The smell in Korea was the worst. You get so sick when the season changes.
    So yeah I just got finished my "p.e." class...basically it's me and a bunch of kids running around playing games with stuffed animals and cones...sounds kinda kinky right...well no not really...it's more like me trying to play doctor, daddy, and dear Abby all in one 45 minute debacle of sweat and tears...just for an example of the tears I'll tell you about the time I almost killed a child in one of these "gym" classes...so yeah I wanted to play super teeter totter...basically two kids of the same weight and my foot propelling one of them high into the air where they would land on the floor...it seemed like a good idea at the time...so there I was ready to thrust my size ten down on the back side of the see saw with a big venomous snake bite look...and so I did...and little Paul went-a-flying...he shot up into the air like 3 feet and landed on little Rickie's head (it's funny how we give all these kids English names sometimes) with his head...they looked at each other...then at me...then at each other...and then at the rest of the class...with everyone, including myself, having their hands over the mouths they instinctively knew to cry at that moment...and cry they did...so there I was...trying to figure out how I was going to explain the slight skull fracture caused within each child to my boss, the police, and to the parents...but alas they are children and as resilient as rubber balls being run over by a car...
My kindergarten classes were my fave.

There are more but this post would have been huge - anyway - i had a great time there and most of it revolved around getting laid, getting drunk, and learning how to play with little kids and cute girls. What a year.



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