Upon Further Examination of Love
Who is anyone else to demand or feel it is owed to him or her to fall in love?
What sort of people blinds themselves with the idea of natural goodness only to come to the harsh reality that love is work?
Love is dependency to function. What does that mean? Well it means that people have patterns and living in a pattern is easier than living without one. Being in love makes it easy to stay in a place that you think is love. Because trying to find a new place to find love is more difficult than staying in "make believe" love land. Maybe for a few brief "Haven't gotten to really know your pheromone smell" years love is passion and pain and happiness. But after a while most people are too comfortable with the pattern of life to ever consider breaking it. It's only when a variable that calls for a break arrives and a moral downfall comes about that love breaks apart.
Who is anyone to believe that their love will come back to them?
Who is anyone to try and hang on in purgatory forever?
We hang on because it's easier than moving on. It's easier to judge than to except new things. It makes things simple when you try and compare everyone. It allows you never to get close to anything. It let's you sit and hope instead of getting up and living.
I love a girl. Actually, I love two girls and I can never be with either of them. One left me for another man and the other has an agenda that I don't fit into. These are not bad things. I am doing what I must in terms of dealing with them. Why have I not moved on? That's easy. I'm a better person because I know them and yet don't anymore. What does this have to do with the post? I don't know. I guess it's just informing you that I don't follow my instincts. Moving on is hard. Changing directions take courage. Staying the same takes none.
I can talk to one for hours like I have never talked to anyone in my life. I can picture her sitting there on the other side of the conversation chatting away with me as if we were splitting French toast. I fall in love with her over and over everyday. I love her more than anything I know. The other one brings back memories and dreams. When you were really good at life and hopeful with the future, you tend to attach things to that time period. I was never better as a person in my entire life than the time I spent with her. You want to know why I won't shut up about her. Because I was golden once in my life and she was the reason.
It's easier to stay in limbo rather than move on. It's easier to reach for the bottle than it is to reach for the broom. Life is hard. Not changing is easy. Love is easy. Love dies and fades. Moving on is courageous and natural. You can make the same argument for not changing and how hard that is. You can make arguments for everything. But what I see more often than not are people never running after what they want. They simply stay where they are and accept their watered down dreams.
