Conversation From New York
Me: She wrote me an email the other day. And last month or around early January I had that weird break down because she said she was getting married. And then she stood me up for dinner that one time. Anyway, she wrote me an email the other day.
X: Oh yeah? What did it say?
Me: "Where are you?"...yeah I know right. I mean what is that?
X: She seems awful every time you describe her actions.
Me: So true. But, you just can't shake it.
X: Dude, fuck that. For all you say, what do you ever do?
Me:If someone was going to give me a list of "bests" she tops out on every single one. I don't even think that's true any more. I think I made her into a myth because honestly when I look back I don't remember just unstoppable laughing or whatever. I can take pieces of other girls and def. say that as I have grown I have met people that have made me laugh more and turned me on more. I really don't the person I have in my head ever existed. I just sort of remember being motivated to not be anything but exceptional. I just remember being great at life. But, the weird thing is, I was 18-22. Who the hell isn't great at those ages?
X:So... did you write her back?
Me:Yeah that's the weird part. I always write her back. And I don't write shit like how much I love her or how much I want to be with her. I write things like, "Are you ok?", "Is anything wrong?". I don't write those other things because I don't feel them. At least I don't feel they would be reciprocated.
X: Yeah.. then what does she write back?
Me:She usually writes, "I'm fine. How are you?" or "I'm gettied married." or "Where are you?" One line - real short - sometimes drama about her having to choose a husband or take care of her mom or something.
X:Whoa man....that's fuckin lame.
Me:Nah...that's just her. You wouldn't blame a pigeon for shitting on the sidewalk. You just sort of say, "That's what pigeons do."
X:I guess.
Me:I don't guess about that. I know. I think that's the most attractive part of her memory is that I can honestly say, maybe one of the only honest things in my life, is that I can say without hesitation, "I know..." every time in every way when it comes to anything about her.
X:You're a fucking moron.
Me:I don't think so. I would drop my whole life if something I believed in would just be willing to do the same. I would drop it all and never look back. The good people would still be around but all the shit would just be gone.
X:Like what shit?
Me:Like you.
