Funniest Corporate Story Ever
So I'm working for some swanky danky company in Cleveland - lol - I know I know I know - Cleveland (sorry 2L) - anyway - So, they have me on the executive floor for the day wrapping things up and going to meetings and writing things and basically just reallizing that I finished yesterday and they want to somehow get their money's worth for the week. So I'm up there and...wait..I have to describe the executive level.
Executive levels of corporations are like fucking country clubs. They have big leather couches, water fountains, huge plants, 20 foot ceilings, weird art, people with trays (made that one up). But it's like you aren't even in a building any more. You feel like you should be going outside to play tennis any minute, "Ohhh Bob. What's say you and I go hit a couple?" - "Cheerio Scharfy." I mean it's weird. But the weirdest thing about this was that there was a bathroom attendent in the bathroom.
So we break for lunch, and I'm not into catered lunch because I like to be outside as much as possible. So before I head down to the bottom level I use the bathroom. I walk in and there is a fucking attendant. I mean stereotypical bad attendant. It's an old black guy in a maroon vest with tuxedo pants standing erect as an arrow. There is music playing overhead which I think he controlled. But, I'm not sure. So I walk in and do my stuff, and then walk over to the sink. I'm not wearing a suit so he thinks something is up.
"Sir?"
"What's up man?"
"Sorry sir. But this is the executive wash room."
"Yeah dude. I'm working up here today. Umm - is there like a hand shake or something I need to know."
"Only the kind that has a folded bill in the palm."
See - at this point I know I've been made as a mark. So I'm going to have some fun.
"What dude? Do I have schmuck written on my face?"
"No Sir."
"Allrighty then."
I go to dry my hands at the opposite end of the bathroom. When all of a sudden - and I shit you not - Wrex in Effex comes on with Rump Shaker. RUMP SHAKER is playing in the bathroom. 'All I wanna do is do my zoom zoom in a boom boom. Just SHAKE YOUR RUMP!" It's not real loud but I heard it from the first beat. My chin fell right into my chest and I started laughing.
"You gotta be shittin me."
"Sir?"
"Rump Shaker man!"
At this point, I give him a dollar and do a - again shit you not - a Michael Jacksoneque pirouette in the bathroom and say "Yeah!" I then did my patented -
"Up High"
Bathroom attendant *slap
"Down Low"
*slap
"Allright!"
That is the greatest corporate moment I have ever had.
