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I Kan't Spell



Tuesday, April 26, 2005

 
Thaumaturgy

Thaumaturgy (THAW-muh-tuhr-jee), n.: The act or art of performing something wonderful; magic;

I waved my finger in front of you as if I were wishing for all the light in the universe to be in a jar that I could keep in my house. A "migration jar" I would call it. The matriculation of all living things would come to follow it. I would wave my hand in front of it again and give back to the world what was mine. I would be heralded. You would not believe.

There are certain moments that take you to a place far from you. There are scenes in your life that play out as if you were a lion ripping an antelope to pieces and the versa of trotting home with said carcass to deliver amongst the pride. Black to white. Brick to mortar. Satin to piss. You need the alternative. You have the switch. It is the flicker that makes the magic. It is the glint that brings the starburst. It is the alternative that allows you to leave.

"What ever happened to the idea of wanting to be great? When does it die in all of us?"
She looked back at me with food hanging half out of her mouth and her eyes wide as if I had just said that I had some terrible disease.
"What?"
"When did you stop caring about being the most amazing person ever to live? When did you stop believing in the magic of the ability; the chance? When did you stop believing in the chance?"
"I don't know. I still believe in it I guess."
I got up and threw my chair to the floor causing a scene. Causing what I wanted right there and then. I was creating something.
"YOU GUESS!!! How dare you GUESS at such a notion? If you wanted to achieve greatness, true greatness, it would drive you. It would take you from food, sex, life, love everything you knew if you wanted to achieve it. If you wanted to live you would have nothing but anti-guesses. You would have all the certainty the world ever knew."
She calmly folded her arms as if she had the winning poker hand.
"What are you so certain about? Where is your greatness?"
I sat back down and tapped my finger loudly on the placemat of the dine-in pizza shop.

In the noise that comes from the air you can hear electricity. At least that's what I saw one time in a movie. In the ocean there are things in the deepest parts that we can't even imagine to exist. That's what I read one time in a magazine. The human brain only uses 10% of it's actual ability. That's what I gathered from a book as a child. My life beats on without the ability to define magic. My life beats on in search of that definition.

When we define a man in the end of our time, whatever species is to evolve from us, I hope magic is part of our definition.

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