Bullet Points of Dislike
- People using minimalist photography to show the beauty of things. It's a fucking toothpick! Just because you ZOOM in on it to show it's granular natural geometry doesn't make it art. You fuckin boring bastard. Take a picture of someone throwing up toothpicks. Now, that's fuckin art.
- People who use quotes from mainstream bullshit artist like John Mayer or Nickelback in their away messages to convey how sad they are about the world. What's next, are you going to call up Susan Sarandon and Jeff Bridges to tour across America saving those in need with people who have actually never seen Susan Sarandon or Jeff Bridges?
If I see one more of these:
"To see you when I wake up
Is a gift I didn't think could be real.
To know that you feel the same as I do
Is a three-fold, Utopian dream.
You do something to me that I can't explain.
So would I be out of line if I said,
"I miss you"?"
I mean what the fuck. You can't write any better than that? If you can't then you deserved to have your emotion amputated from you at an early age so as not to pass on your ill-artistic abilities and lack of passion to the rest of the world. Go watch Vh1's I love the 80's, already.
- People in general and this malaise of desiring the average. "I was looking at houses in Catonsville." People say this to me with a straight fucking face. What the fuck happened to the world? What the fuck happened to people? Anyway...
- Homeless people. If you are homeless and I give you a dollar. It is in your best interest to remember me. If you don't I will more than likely not give you a dollar again if you give me the same sad bastard schtick.
- The lack of any 3rd rate foreign or Indie movies in video stores. This is sorta my fault I guess but goddamnit - I mean Million Dollar Baby was fucking horrible. HORRIBLE! The next Karate kid learns to box - My Blood My Darling - chair broken neck - FUCKIN KILL HER ALREADY you mean old prick! Anyway - I want more selection. Maybe something fun like a guy who likes to fuck squirrels with bottles of Rubbetussin and rubber gloves. Now THAT'S an expose'
- And speaking of movies. Any movie that uses voice overs and narration to convey holes in the plot or emotions make me just want o to fuckin puke. If you are that bad of a story teller that you need to explain to me that the character was sad or any other emotion or color than you need to go back - look at the script - and reqrite that motherfucker.
- Anybody I have known for more than 5 years. What happened to you people? I mean seriously. What the fuck happened to you people? Houses, wives, cars, bullshit computer jobs and sales positions as reasons to feel happy. I mean - I'm in this category with you but at least I still have a breath I want to take before I plunge myself into clipping coupons and wrapping up turkey sandwiches for lunch the next day at 9 pm at night and then running to the couch to see the latest episode of Blow Out or Lost while avoiding my girlfriend or wife whom I have grown to hate. Anyway...if that's you... I can't talk to you anymore. I love ya. But, I can't talk to you anymore. I won't do it. I won't fake it anymore. I will not pretend to be happy for you unless I know for a fact you have a golden soul. But no no no no no - your aspirations of mediocrity make me want to puke and my own failures make it impossible to look at you and smile. So...yeah...bye.
Look I'm not salty. I'm not. I just get bored and tired of things quickly. Unfortunately, what I am seeing at this age is really disturbing. I see people explaining that they are having a good weekend in the middle of a good weekend and are gathering chips to cash in on a really boring bad life full of cook outs and fishing trips. I'm seeing a whole lot of boring around me - - - I just overflowed a little today. Have a good day...
Bret
*** Oh and one more thing. Working with people with accents. I can't understand your fucking ass. I know I am a loser when 80% of the people I work have an accent that makes me go "what the fuck are you talking about?" 50 times a day. And this dig is met by smiles and the same fucking sentence again in a some gutteral Bagledishian accent that allows them to roll every letter into a g or an r. ahhh...
