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I Kan't Spell



Tuesday, August 09, 2005

 
More Bullshit from the Stupid Post a Secret Site

For those of you who don't know I detest a whole bunch of things. The things I most detest revolve around anything being fake, phony, or just plain pathetic. This goddamned post-a-secret blog that people seem to love never ceases to burn my acorns. Here are some lovely sad-bastard fuckin post cards from around the world.




"Me too" - what Me Too? Me Too I can't draw or Me too I have a yeast infection or Me too I have only 2 fingers on my left hand as well. I mean what the fuck is this? Secrets are bad enough without the secret being a secret you shallow slob. How did this thing make the cut. I'm going to paste a turd to a post card and send it in with the caption "I hope". Everyone will be so amazed.




Oh I bet you are a blast in the sack. You have to be the quintessential fucking craptastic soccer mom of the world. First off, why is this a secret and who the hell cares about impressing the other soccer mom tastics about wanting another kid. This one is so pathetic that I can only imagine a 400 pound woman in a brown moo moo sucking down Newport Kings while watching re-runs of Family Feud on the Gameshow Network.






I'm scared of being fucked in the ass by a huge rubber dick. I'm also scared of being thrown off a building and landing on table of running chain saws made out of rubber foam. Is this really a secret? I mean is someone sitting around saying "I really love cockroaches climbing into my mouth."





My Mom also failed to teach me how to spell or be legible in any way. I also like the picture on the card well chosen for your nutball ass. Hey psst - moron - all parents use their kids as pawns it's the only thing that keeps them sane. Stop being such a pussy and move on.





First off who uses a key to use the bathroom? And second what key doesn't have a backup to a public bathroom? If this is a secret that deserves it's own graphic then I have about 5000 secrets to submit including. I enjoy leaving the toilet seat up. I never eat the last cookie. I litter. I spit on the street. I look at girl's asses while I walk. Jackoff...




Oh cry me a river Dorothy. Imagine for a second if your parents had been poor. How would that have settled with you? Not only would they have ignored you because you were a latent homosexual failure that got cut from JV track and field but they also would have been unable to buy your way into Brown. Ya fuck ya...





I don't dig German food or English food or Irish food and uhh Scottish food sucks ass as well. You know what else sucks - when your country of birth is best known for spicy cheese and meat fried on dough. Learn to deal with you dipshit.





What the fuck does this means? I only feel like I'm happy when I'm swimming. Is this a bulimia thing? I'm so confused by this moronic fucking post that I'll just leave it alone and walk away.





Is this your attempt to get laid dude? I can picture the scene now:
Flower guy: "Hey I uhh put a postcard on stupidsecret.blogspot.com about you."
Clerk: "Oh my god really. That's so awesome..."
Hours pass - clerk sees secret -
Clerk:"Oh my god that was soo sooo soo soo sweet."
Flower Guy - "Thanks it was nothing."

10 minutes later he's lowering the gene pool again by sliding his sly little sperm past the goalie of some pay less shoe store floozy.





Put "dipshit with an identity crisis" and stop bitching about it. Who the fuck cares?





Yeah I bet you keep doing this until you wink at some guy who follows you to your house and beats the living fucking shit out of you because he is an underground nazi or some weird fascist. Keep winking at straight guys to make yourself feel better and watch you be missing some teeth with a failed eye socket in no time. Moron...






Hey - baby - madam - Umm - shut up.






First off you should probably take up another hobby besides drawing. These look like rejected Simpson's characters. Secondly, if you and your big foot friend really look like this you should more than likely stop running around naked before someone shoots you with a tranquilizer dart and mounts you on their wall.





I can't really say anything. This is hilarious.

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