David Sedaris Wants Me To Write on Bathroom Walls
It's funny how life can really jump up and bite you sometimes. It can be love or money. It could be pain or flight. It could be anything but as long as you hit the blue razor beam of light the right way that it blinds you enough to make you see, then you feel life. You feel alive by the touch of someone's hand or the fantasy of someone's love. You have heated hair when thinking about your life and how much it hurts. You trudge between desire and jealousy only to find that being alone is not such a bad place. If you could let everything go and drift out to see, you just might do it. There are welcome signs at every exit waiting for you to start over. There are reasons to walk out on your life and start over. You learn that way. You jump in with both feet and realize that the water is warm and that the tide is gentle and taking you to the island you want to go.
You can laugh at all that is life. You can smile at equality. You want more but sometimes you sense that what you have is good. You feel as though there is no smile or suffer. It doesn't serve you to be master or slave and therefore just being is being enough. You let the sun come in and dress your face with the idea of another day. You rub your eyes. You squeeze the imaginary love in front of you and move through the air as if her perfume is on every corner. You move through the world knowing that content in something is better than inequality in anything else. You can flame til your match pack is all used up. You will find yourself asking to borrow your love from all around you and hence be fallen into milk, cream, and alcohol. You don't understand me now, but soon enough you will. I love everything about what I believe and I love everything about what life is today and for any future that I see with that silhouette dancing in the morning sun.
~~~
The dark end of the street is where I like to play. Why? I have no idea. It's natural for me to be around anything poison. At the dark end of the street that's where we always meet. We are hiding in shadows where we don't belong. I know that time will take it's toll and that sin comes and goes with the ebb of the year. If you take a walk downtown and find some time to look about you. If you see me and I walk on by, don't hang your head at me. We will meet at the dark end of the street. They will find us but that doesn't mean we were wrong. It only means that we get to run to our own shaded corner where it's cool and a little damp. An alley lit by anything other than shame. An alley lit by anything warm. Warmth is what I need to exit playing dark ends against what should be done.
~~~
I can hit fast forward forever. Eventually you get to the end of the song list. Eventually there is no repeat or cycle to take back your transgressions. You end up without music and without a place to keep your heart.
~~~
And I'd like to say I'm sorry, but I've lived to tell about it. And I plan on living on to do a whole bunch more crazy shit. I never saw the Rolling Stones but I sure saw Remy Zero. When I was 17 I drank a 1/5 of vodka and I backed my friends car into another in front of his house. We ran away and I jumped a fence or two. I never snuck up stairs and I never cried until I was 22. You know I never saw The Beatles but I sure saw some Oasis and I have no regrets about when and where I grew up. One time I had a few too many and drove my car right off of 95 and on the same night The Stones were supposed to play at the MCI Center. Lucky for me the cops were gone and hanging outside that there arena tapping their feet. The show should have been rescheduled for the rest of my life. The rest as we all know is history. You know I never say the Rolling Stones but I sure as shit saw a whole bunch of Travis. Where Franny was singing "All I wanna do is rock".
~~
They moved across the plains in a formation that felt strong. They felt as though they were a part of the elite army Special Forces guerilla group of terrorist assassins. They felt young and light. They moved with hunched shoulders and grace. They were laying their curved body form below the grass line and weed line that surrounded them. They moved like a lion through the Serengeti plains. Their guns whipping like the massive tail as it approaches its prey with hunter glee. They broke stride with each other at the ridge of the blood. The blood meridian lay there before them and as they strode through the obsidian covered leaves and roots of soon to be trampled grass, they each fell to their bellies. Over their heads was fired one loan shot. On a small tuft of a hill about 100 yards squatted a man. He was wearing blue jeans and t-shirt. His body was taut with expectation and he cried out for death before he would ever cry out for any of their reasons. He shot again, this time into the sky. He screamed, "Come further and we'll play death bingo. Come one more belly inch and I'll shoot one of you in your face. You can decide which one. I'm smarter than you. I'm going to find out what I want to know simply by the way you move. Crawl back over the blood already before you and explain to your wives that you chose not bastardize your children as opposed to coming to claim the scalp of the man who has wronged your world."
