Bill Maher
Ok - every fence fading liberal likes Bill Maher in one way or another. As he is currently crushing evil personified in Ann(e) Coulter I find myself hating one thing about Bill. There is one thing that he does that makes me really dislike watching his lefty skewed program. Have you ever noticed his unwavering propensity to shhhsh and quiet the crowd when he doesn't want them to cheer or boo? I find it pretty awkward for a host to find it necessary to coach his crowd on how to behave.
Anyway - I'm pro-Bill but anti-talk show host Bill. I wish Henry Winkler or Kermit the Frog were the host and Bill was just a permanent guest on a new show called "Stomp the right and don't blame the poor."
Anyway - Master and Commander is on for the 800th time this month on Signature HBO - I think I'll give that a go instead of watching the jib cutting between - and get ready for this - Ben Affleck (of J-Lo fame - sporting a fierce goatee), Salman Rushdie (of sniper dodging fame and the book that all college kids buy but never understand) and the editor of the New Republic Ed Sullivan (yeah who cares). Actually - that's fuckin Tivo worthy. I want someone to ask Ben what happened to his healthy cocaine habit and sawed down teeth round about the Chasing Amy / Mall Rats days. I'm gonna go rent Reindeer Games to see when the actual mouth surgery was done to ease the transition of his huge diaretic habit.
Actually here is some play-by-play.
They are discussing the new Supreme Court cleaning lady. Sullivan the guy who no one wants to hear chimes in and everyone sighs looking at Ben's just-so-misplaced hair and Salman's "Go fuck yourself Syria" tattoo on his gleaming forehead. Salman is looking fierce for a guy roughly named after a fish. Ben sits mulling his eye brows.
Still mulling
Mulling
j-Lo
Oh wait... Ben utters "Yeah..." after hearing Sullivan drop an F bomb. Bill is looking very nervous with Salman to his right as he looks around for a red dot dancing on the stage.
Ben is mulling. Holy shit they gave him the tag of Actor / Activist. I spilled my soda. I spit on the LCD screen - let me whipe that off. Oh Ben is using huge hand gestures and talking about Al Gore. There is a nice close up of Ben's face fur.
Mulling.
Sipping water.
Salman is uneasy in his chair and this Sullivan guy who no one wants to hear is dominating the conversation. Wait... Bill cut him off after in his ear piece he heard "We need Ben to get up and shake his ass and blink slowly into the camera."
More Bush bashing.
Mulling
Blinking
Bill has a really ugly shirt.
Doesn't his shiksa dress him?
Ben is not comfortable on a talk show - way too much hands. He just used the word "stupid" twice in a sentence. Oh he's coked up as his word RPM is about 800. Ben just shit on the Bible and now he's backtracking. He is ending every sentence with "...well whatever it is". Bill just shit on the Bible. Oh lord they threw Salman a softball. And Bill finally said it - whew - a big brow wipe from the booth as Bill uttered "I'm not the one going to be shot." And a muffled laugh could be heard from the crowd.
Mulling
Salman is about as funny as a fuckin mouse pad.
Ben is talking again. He used a double neagtive. "I don't see the way people don't understand..." Lordy...
Ben cracked a joke about President's day.
Eye brow fixation.
He's so dreamy.
So damn dreamy..... ooohhhhh ..... j-Lo
Lord - Sullivan is a religious guy talking about space and the ever so popular "Living your life in a good way" line when talking about world religions.
Ben is mulling with a fierce goatee stroke.
Wait! DAMNIT! Bill just shhshhd the crowd again. That's it. Happy Gilmore is on USA. I'm out.
