Rule Soup
"Rules? Oh there are no rules here."
James Earl Jones once spurted that out at Kevin Costner while chasing him with a baseball bat in the film Field of Dreams.
Jas giggled a little I think when she heard those words spoke by the actor, but she was probably upset that I was mimicking the words about 5 seconds earlier.
"Ok new rule: I hate when you say the movie lines. So Stop!"
That's one of her rules: No repeating lines in a movie before they happen. Check. Got it. It is committed to memory. The only problem is that 10 seconds later I'm doing it again. I laugh at it. She slaps her hands down on the bed and gives a little groan as if I just flicked her in the head.
There are 100's more. There is a new rule for anything that happens to upset her. Life shouldn't be about rules. Her rules aren't really rules they are just ways for her to express what she doesn't like. As soon as she doesn't like something she makes a rule: "You will never eat Yellow Jell-O again." She's just too strong to sometimes let her guard down and realize that some rules don't matter. We spend our whole life breaking them anyway.
We actually strive to break the rules from birth. "Don't touch that." And as a 2 year old you want to touch it. When you are a little kid all you want to do is break the rules. You don't want to wash or eat healthy. You want to play in dirt and order pizza and cheese curls for dinner every night. When you get older you break the rules with cheating on your taxes and calling out sick. You break the rules because, for the cliche' of using a cliche'; rules are meant to be broken.
There are certain rules that I don't want to break anymore. Now is the time in my life when I need to start a new game with new rules. I've never really had any reason to live by any rules up until now. The rules I lived by were designed by me to be broken by me. It's as if I set up my own world where I could be my own rebel. I felt good about breaking my own rules. I was so cool in my world breaking my rules that I didn't find rule breaking to be a problem. I rather enjoyed it.
Well now there is a new world. And I am making the first rule: I want to love you.
"What? That doesn't sound like a rule?" Well, it sounds like a rule to me, so be quiet.
Is love something attainable by following rules? Do you see the good in someone because they obey what you say or they wish to be the person to make you most proud? I think rules play a major role in day to day life. But the one rule I know never to break or to abandon is love for her.
Rule 1: There is only 1 rule.
Rule 2: Love Jas with everything you have and make your lives as happy as you can make them.
(I'm sure she'll add more later. But I'm hoping she understands that the only rule you really need in our new world is to love each other.)
Now that may be a little simplistic but in actuality it's not. The only rule that matters is the rule that creates the end product. All the other little rules that we use to express our dislikes towards different things roll up into that 1 rule. All the rules that we use to defend ourselves and mold the other person don't really count. Love will make the rules either palatable or vacant in a matter of time.
For example if you have a really dumb rule, oh I don't know, about let's say, wearing tennis shoes with shorts. This rule exists but what should exist first is the rule to love each other. That rule will make you both sort of bend. On one hand the person wearing shorts will likely give consideration to not wear tennis shoes with that garment next time out and on the other hand the person who made the rule will likely shrug it off if the other person forgets to do so once in a while. This is made possible by the rule of love. One way or another it can get resolved if you respect the other's wishes to either follow the inconsequential rule or not.
I know what you are thinking, "Some rules are bigger than others". Well for the sake of this testament I will say that we know what those are and those go as unspoken rules in the land of good people. And we are good people.
So, all the little sub rules wrap right up into the rule of love. Love is that giant melting ball of warmth that you run to when you are going to cry and break in two or burst with joy. It's indefinable and everyone's recipe for it is completely different. All the things that we do on a daily basis to subliminally let the other person know that we respect and care for them roll write up into love.
Her recipe for love is the best one that I have seen thus far. Her love for my life lead me down a path that makes me better. They make me a better me. I'll find myself closer to family and healthier. I'll find myself dreaming in color even when I am awake. my world is painted with the sweetest smile in the world.
I wish I could write her recipe here but I don't want to give it away. I don't want other people to experience what I have. So I am sorry to be selfish but I worked hard to get this recipe and you just don't take a helicopter to Mt. Everest and say that you climbed it yourself. I can give you the ingredients though. You'll just never
really figure out how to make our perect brand of soup:
You need
1 cup of Be sweet. (In my case a little extra)
A pinch of Smile.
2 large Laughs.
1 good dose of Make love.
1 pre oiled pan of Respect each other
1 generous helping of cheese (seriously)
4 good back rubs
2 pairs of eyes that see all the good that comes after the storm
1 Commitment to be there and everywhere at all times
And finally you should take everything that happens and put it in the scope of a lifetime. If you do this you'll have the kind of love that we have.
I love you furball.
