Office Lingo,br>
I've come to notice certain office things that I want to say but instead end up saying the first thing. When in actuality my brain is going:
1) TRY SAYING:
I think you could use more training.
INSTEAD OF:
You don't know what the fuck you're doing.
2) TRY SAYING:
She's an aggressive go-getter.
INSTEAD OF:
She's a ball-busting bitch.
3) TRY SAYING:
Perhaps I can work late.
INSTEAD OF:
And when the fuck do you expect me to do this?
4) TRY SAYING:
I'm certain that isn't feasible.
INSTEAD OF:
No fucking way.
5) TRY SAYING:
Really?
INSTEAD OF:
You've got to be shitting me!
6) TRY SAYING:
Perhaps you should check with...
INSTEAD OF:
Tell someone who gives a shit.
7) TRY SAYING:
I wasn't involved in the project.
INSTEAD OF:
It's not my fucking problem.
8) TRY SAYING:
That's interesting.
INSTEAD OF:
What the fuck are you talking about?
9) TRY SAYING:
I'm not sure this can be implemented.
INSTEAD OF:
This shit won't work.
10) TRY SAYING:
I'll try to schedule that.
INSTEAD OF:
Why the fucking hell didn't you tell me sooner?
11) TRY SAYING:
He's not familiar with the issues.
INSTEAD OF:
He's got his head up his ass.
12) TRY SAYING:
Excuse me, sir?
INSTEAD OF:
Hey! Fucko?
13) TRY SAYING:
So you weren't happy with it?
INSTEAD OF:
Kiss my ass.
14) TRY SAYING:
I'm a bit overloaded at the moment.
INSTEAD OF:
Fuck it, I'm on salary.
15) TRY SAYING:
I don't think you understand.
INSTEAD OF:
Shove it up your fucking ass.
16) TRY SAYING:
I love a challenge.
INSTEAD OF:
This job sucks.
17) TRY SAYING:
You want me to take care of that?
INSTEAD OF:
Who the fuck died and made you boss?
18) TRY SAYING:
He's somewhat insensitive.
INSTEAD OF:
He's a prick.
