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I Kan't Spell



Monday, October 15, 2007

 
Phone and Observations About Technology

First off I'd like to say that the fact that my phone was dead for a week and I had 48 voice mails is absurd. I love you all but seriously... What is also absurd is the level of anger that seems to go up with every missed voice mail.

Voice mail 1: Bret Baby! I'm down at the Fells Festival. We need you here. We are getting crushed. I love you. Call me.

Voice Mail 2: Bret. Me again. Just got through the tunnel and hoping you'll call me back. We're probably going to the Horse. Call me.

Voice Mail 3: Don't know why your phone is off. But it goes straight to voicemail. Don't know why or if you are screening me but I'm down here at Max's. Call us dude!

Voice Mail 4: DUDE! 4th and last call. I don't remember where you live in Mt. Vernon. Was hoping to swing by because im crushed now. I'll just drive home and die. Thanks.

Yes ,the phone apparently causes pain and it also causes people to think the worst. The increasingly angry phone messages are hilarious if not pointless. It's like yelling at a wall. If the person doesn't want to pick up then take a hint and stop calling. If the person lost his phone, I'm sure one message will suffice for them to have enough information to see if a call back is pliable.

Some other things about phones real quick: Do you remember how in old movies someone was always getting stranded in some desolate location with a impeding crisis; whether it be a bomb, axe murderer, or imposing natural disaster? Do you remember their hassles when it came to being rescued always revolved around their isolation and lack of viable communication? Now, since 40% of 6 year old have phones, this is no longer a believable scenario. In movies these days the charger has to be forgotten, the occupier had to have been thrown in a lake, the cell phone tower is down, they are in a valley in New Mexico and even that isn't believable anymore. What this has done is made movies have to change their point of view and even their lame metaphors to one of isolation to one of desolation.

Also, my new Blackberry is pretty killer but it has occurred to me that I may be slipping beyond the up curve of technology already. My interaction with this phone is reminding me of watching my parents interact with a computer when they first got one. I am fumbling and having to read manuals. There is not intuitive relationship between my brain and this interface. There is nothing in me that is domestic about this device and it's alien advanced ways are starting to wear on me and I haven't even charged it all the way. With that said, I lend a fair warning to all those employed in the technology sector as I once was... get out. Either get out or get way smarter because technology and the gap between those with the know-how and those without is going to become similar to the division of wealth in this country. While the interfaces may be more intuitive, moron friendlier, and even fail safe - they will not however be more kind to those who are trying to operate them from the backend. You will find yourself often speechless at your own incompetence, and will then shudder when you utter the words that you though you would only hear from the old people, "I don't understand this." or even worse "I hate technology."

This also reminds me of something I brought up to Erin as we honored the marathon this weekend by walking to Patterson Park and then walking back home through the ghetts! You know the scene in the old movies with the guy running through the airport to catch his sweet heart before the plane takes off? Or the scene in the airport with the family ready at the gates to greet their long lost relative or war hero? Or how about even the scene when two lovers are about to leave each other for months or years and they board the plane fawning for each other's finger and stretching out to one another with every inch so as not to lose the other? Well forget all that shit. Forget the romance of the airport in movies. Forget the longing and the hurrying to stop true love or certain death by running after planes. Because today they'd be clothes-lined, head locked, and in cuffs before they even smelled the flat beer pouring from some place called "Marty's Mitzvah" next to gate 13.

That is all! My gym workout starts tom. I can't wait to be sore. Yum!

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