Late Nights - And Update
I sit here every night until 8,9, or even 10 working my crazy 12-14 hour day. I often think "Is this worth it?" "Is this company taking advantage of me?" And then you have days, everyday actually, when you realize your professional career is turning towards something real, something promising, and something really exciting. The energy in this place some days is palpable and when you are running up and down stairs and talking about real money that you help make, it gets exciting. You no longer feel like a cog. You feel like you are steering your own destiny and it's an amazing feeling to have. You almost fall in love with yourself when you catch a glimpse of yourself in the mirror in the bathroom. You feel the energy bursts that run through your body when the meeting is waiting for YOU to show up, and everyone shuts up and listens when you have something to say. When the man in charge comes to your office and puts his feet up and cuts right to it by saying "God damn this is fucking exciting! I can't wait to see what's next." you feel guided by your own self. You feel successful.
I have worked my entire adult life in some way or another. And while some jobs may have been rewarding they were often without direction, without a future, or without joy. This is the first job that when someone asks me to work every day from 8 to 8 I gladly say "Indeed." I gladly roll up my sleeves and work the way I know how. I use my brain and I use my mouth. I use my own little swagger and instead of when it was once looked upon as annoying, here it is looked upon as eccentric intelligence surrounded by a great work ethic. I think for the first time I am clear on why I am happy with my job outside of just making money. I am happy with it because I’m good at it. I found something that allows me to somewhat shine. I want to high five myself every day.
Also today, the mansion had a giant Thanksgiving lunch with turkeys, ham, yams, corn bread, mac and cheese, greens, pie, cookies and whipped cream, and it was all made in house and not catered. It was made in our mansion's kitchen and served on its 40-place dining room setting. The meal was filled with jokes and laughs and for the first time in a professional setting I didn't feel awkward around who I worked with. I felt confident, comfortable, and cool and I think given my feedback about my performance, that it shows.
---- Out of the town for the weekend ---- Be back on Sunday afternoon. And for all coming in to town for Turkey weekend - let's do this!
