- Bret Holmes Baltimore Md

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I Kan't Spell

Thursday, March 27, 2008

Official Opening Day Action

For one day only - the Scharf will be returning to sling beers at Sliders. This is a one time deal in hope of saving money for France. Or in hopes of fueling a really kick ass weekend... Swing buy... but given the actuality of the Orioles this year... we'll be paying for our beers because Timmy... is gonna need it. I'll be the guy sweating with a cigarette, aviators, and hatred for a beer coozy.

I love you all. I hope to see you there. I'll be wearing one of the following shirts:

Front: The Orioles are playing...
Back: ... and McNulty is drinking again.

Front: Oriole Magic...
Back: It Burns!

Blow it up!

I got Falconed.

Sliders - We'll keep you optimistic.

Who needs October when you've got April (this one has already been given away to Sean "The Molester" Jester.

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

CHC News

Brother Tom Miller passed away. He was our JV baseball moderator and I remember him pretty well. Rest in peace Brother. lighter news...

Calvert Hall's Baseball team is #1...not in the county...not in the state....not on the east coast... but IN THE COUNTRY. that's kinda hot.

If I'm not mistaken the 91' Arundel team was the last to be that high... in case any of you were wondering... the team my friends and I played on made it to #7 in the country.... and last year's team went 33-0 and the PROGRAM went something like 70-0....

Tradition gentlemen... tradition...

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

Tune of the day

"looking like a trainwreck..."

Save it for a Rainy Day - The Jayhawks

Monday, March 24, 2008

Randoms - Sound of Music

More action for you - -

Sound of Music was on this weekend - and well - I'm gay. I love it. Thanks.


Goodbye, Farewell

How do you solve a problem like Maria?

Do Re Mi!

....And a random - the girl from Boy Meets World was WAY TOO HOT for the lead actor. I mean ... at least Whinnie was mousey and moved on from Kevin... this kid owned her....

Updates and all

Lots of good stuff coming up...INCLUDING OPENING DAY!!!

Wed. 26th - Ottobar - Hot Magic play the Ottobar. You may remember them from the days when everything was "hot" something (snakes, whips, butts...). I have their cd... so.. I mean... it's interesting.

Thur 27th - Sonar - Jason Dove is back with something called the Shadow of the Condor. Interesting.

Friday 28 - The Raveonettes take hold of the Ottobar. Jam song below - -

Sat 29 - Austin Grille (Canton) - Our favorite Old Timey hotness man - Mark "the hop" Hopkins returns with the MH Trio... I've heard that the "story tellers" thing at the Grille is kinda daft but that the venue has promise... if they stopped serving 25$ plates of pasta. Maybe he'll bring back Penelope or the Leaving Song one time. DO IT MARK! DO IT!

Fri 4 - Jason Dove is back with sad bastardy Caleb Stine at the Head that Talks. Finn Riggins and Infinite Honey will also be in the house. No fights all. No fights.

Rhett Miller is playing... lol - I'm fucking joking. Nobody listens to that guy. hahahaha.

Sat 5 - PonyTail and Dan Deacon are throwing a welcome home party from SxSW. Location to be disclosed and probably... filthy. Welcome back the talent and give them some money so they can start recording their new album. They'll also be playing the Black Cat and going on tour after that. Yay! Couldn't happen to a nice band.

Viva la Love. Viva la Liberte. Viva la John Adams. Viva la la.

Thursday, March 20, 2008

In the path

You began a search
I know many have tried
Not a blind man among you
For years let fate decide
So swallowed and followed and played through start to end
With the good weight all carried by your faithful friends

She wrote you a song and you bought a wedding dress
Having handsome bite buxom
Have insured people met
Then sundry and nocturnal
You lay your peace to sleep
With your new loves good fortunes
And secrets safe to keep

What will await you
Can tether no more
What's shrunken withers
In the path to your door

Sons and Daughters Rock DC

If you weren't there... well... you weren't.

What a great band. What an amazing feeling to be young.

If you don't remember - enjoy -

21 Brooklyn NY Music Hall of Williamsburg (18+)
-- [Tickets] sup: Bodies of Water
22 New York NY Bowery Ballroom (18+)
-- [Tickets] sup: Bodies of Water

Next 2 days if you are so inclined... BLAKE

Johnny Cash - My favorite song of 2003!!!!

Taste the last girl!

Dance Me In!


If there were wishes
Hanging as
Low fruit
In the alleys of dreams.

My life would be feed
with all I wanted.

Mornings yield
sharp pain.
Mornings create
drowning gasps.

My thoughts and life

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Where I've Been....

...for the past few days.,0,1867525.story

Be back soon...

We appreciate all the kind words. The cats love to eat flowers.

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

June 9th - 14th

I'll be here - - - lol - - When I got the invite today I was like... I've never been to France. Debauchery danced and then I said... "Oh I'm friggin going."

I'll let you all know how it goes...


Opening Day Starter

...duh duh duh. Steve Trachsel. Yep - the Orioles are trotting out a guy on opening day that signed a minor league contract 3 weeks ago. Let the rebuilding begin.

The direct quote from the team was "We want to take some of the pressure off of our younger guys."

I just threw up all over myself.

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

On the Radio

Randy Kail and Alex Smith are currently on the radio talking about their Batting Cage, Diamond Pros, in Forrest Hill. Tune in to 98 rock or go visit Randy or Alex at their new joint.

Hilarious. Apparently Mickey is going to go there today to hit a 90 mph fastball. Goodluck midget.

For those who don't know - Randy and Alex have been involved with high level youth baseball for a long time. Randy actually jacked me up against a car

Monday, March 10, 2008

The funniest thing I saw today...

Chunky blue cheese dressing that comes out of a squeeze bottle.

Don't quite know how those chunks are coming through. Well done Hidden Valley. Your marketing department has wisdom.

The Wire Punts it's Final Possession

I don't feel like it was a full punt by The Wire last night, but I felt like they were 4th and 1 on the opponenets 30 and decided to pooch. I felt like much more could have been addressed and they had a responsibilioty to do that. They did not. I was no tupset abou the story. I was upset like a child gets upset. I was upset that the ending didn't coddle me and tell me everything was going to be alright. At the end of the day I wanted The Wire, my most trusted of any recent medium, to either slap me or hug me. I wanted them to love me or hate me but I didn't want them to just leave the show laying on the street like a frying egg.

I have never seen a television show that decided to not only to tell an entertaining story, but also educate it's viewers on the twisted ills of a city. They kicked in doors, opened eyes, and threw cold water on many heads.However, they never achieved the crescendo of lofty answers that they questioned. They opted more for personal scenarios wrapped in moral fatigue as opposed to tackling answers to injustice.

Maybe, that was the point of The Wire. Maybe we weren't supposed to have answers because there aren't any. But I feel that that is just as irresponisible as the system itself. People trusted the voice of The Wire, and looked to it to show us some kind of light or a direction to a more promising idea of what could be. Instead The Wire dropped the flashlight for us to pick up and did not deliver on it's possible promise. It delivered on it's own exhausted portfolio. It delivered more to the show than it did to my city. It chose to entertain and say goodbye rather than educate and nurture us.

Knowing The Wire, I guess that's how it was supposed to be.

I was very sad last night when The Wire ended. I could watch the canvas of Baltimore painted in any scenario. Anytime this less than fair city is shown on any national stage my ears perk up. I think The Wire not only used the best paints, but they were the best craftsmen. They molded a story that brought emotion to everyone tied to this city. Whether that tie be here in the streets of the 212 area codes or our brethern in other states and cities that could feel or identify with our story.

The Wire earned my respect through the years. The Wire will be missed.

So with a final send off I would like to say a sincere thank you to the writers, actors, producers, and all local flair that supported the production of one of the greatest dramas in the history of television.

....and thank God Slim Charles capped Cheese. Fuck a Cheese.

and...Peace it Omar - - my favorite all-time character on television.

Friday, March 07, 2008

10 Years

I hope you're well. I know you come here. And I know you came here today. Good to see you remember the date like I do "3+7=10 1's and 0's you and I." I still have that poem somewhere. Shoot me a mail if you ever get the change. Enjoy Cali.

Things White People Like

I honestly wish I could have started this or taken credit for it at some point in my aimless blogging career. But, alas, someone has started one of the funniest blogs I have ever seen.

My personal faves are:
#80 The Idea of Soccer
#65 Co-Ed Sports
#14 Having Black Friends
#11 Asian Girls
#4 Assists

Enjoy yourself thoroughly - -

I have been trying to think of things to add and I have come up with:
Old Motown music
Trendy shoes
Reforming losers (strippers, pot dealers, low end workers, failed musicians)
Bloomberg Television
"touch" football
Driving Cross County
Missionary Sex
Britches, Abercrombie, anything plaid or designed with patterned animals
The color pink
Parliament Lights
Fancy pizza
Complaining about the corporatization of holidays
Painting their faces for sporting events
Posting crappy music on youtube and myspace
Jack Black
Being "down"
That one story where they went to jail.
Text messaging
Bravo Television
Trivia Night
Throw pillows
Board games
Shoes without socks
Being bohemian filthy
Will Ferrell
White people singing Raggae or the Blues
Books on war
Making their own pasta
Quietly complaining anout general annoyances while in the presense of black people
Loudly complaining about general annoyances sans black presense.
Matt Damon
James Bond Movies
Exotic fruits and nuts
Lofts in traditionally dangerous parts of town

From Sam D.
Accents (Irish or British as well as the occasional black-around-black accent)
Drunk dialing
Hair gel
Golden Tee
Beer Pong

Also you may enjoy -

Thursday, March 06, 2008

Opening Day -T -shirts

Opening day is fast approaching and t-shirts will be made this year.

1. Baltimore, at least we aren't in DC
2. Who needs October when you've got April?
3. Front: Feel the Magic.
Back: It Burns.
4. Sliders - we'll keep you optimistic.
5. I'm Batting Cleanup this Year
6. Someone told me the beer is free when Trachsel pitches
7. Front: The Orioles are playing...
Back: ...and McNulty is drinking again.
8. Houston, you have our problem.
9. Aubrey Huff stole my money
10. BLOW IT UP!!!

and the final... "I got Falconed"

Wednesday, March 05, 2008

Late for the Sky

Mirrors haunt sometimes.
Smiles, like sundials fade
off into a non-descript
piece of time.

"You never knew
What I loved in you.
I don't know what you
loved in me."

Those words rush through me
Like the coldest water.
They brittle my bones.
They make pains
inside my arms and legs.
When I sleep I have dreams;
Visions that I can't take.

"How long have I been dreaming
I could make it right
if I closed my eyes
and tried with all might?"

The tighter my eyes shut
the more they burn.
The stronger I clench my fist
the more it reminds me
of why they were clenched.

I have the thought of being late.
Always late for something.
Always remembering that you can't
be late for the sky.

In every nerve there is a will.
In every will there is a way.
(or so they say)
My way is in the cold water.
Sleeves are up.
Head is down and smiling at the pool.

Tuesday, March 04, 2008

Guess what TODAY IS?!!!!

National motherfuckin' grammar day...

Hold it down for the little brown handbook.

Monday, March 03, 2008

So this is it...

The final episode of the Wire premiers tonight a week in advance for Comcast On Demand customers. I of course always watch it a week early...because I just can't really wait.

I don't know how I feel about it all.

This last season has been difficult at best. The story line seems flat and pushed. It feels like a giant game of Earthball as opposed to a tight game of basketball. There are too many topics, camps, and undercurrents pursued. It has lost a lot of it's tightness and most of the characters are painted with both sides of the brush making any sort of fablesque moral fiber hard to weave with.

Well it ends today. I'm excited for it. I'm sad that we'll be losing the Wire series and I'm even sadder for the people in this city that don't watch it. It really is amazing. I recommend it above Homicide, and any Levinson or Waters film.

"The bigger the lie, the more they believe."

Favorites List
Pandora Song List
Amazon Wish List
Revolutionary Wealth - Tofflers
Brian Jones

Things Making Me Smile
The City
Listening - [out of 5]
Benjy Ferree - 4.8
The Thermals 3.1
David Gray 3.8

Like the guy with the beard? YES - like the guy with the beers. What? Yep

Bands That I Check Schedules For
Badly Drawn Boy
Belle and Sebastian
Benjy Ferree
The Black Keys
Drive By Truckers
The Eels
Kimya Dawson
Mark Hopkins Band
Iron and Wine
Mates of State
Ted Leo
Two if By Sea

Places I Rock in the Flesh
9:30 Club
Black Cat
Electric Factory
The Knitting Factory
The Otto Bar
Recher Theatre

Places I Eat/Drink in the Flesh
Bishop's Collar
Cross Street Market
Hull Street
Joun Gak
Mick O'Shea's
No Way Jose
The Irish Pub
The Waterfront Hotel

My Greatest Hits (that's so lame)

The time I almost killed a child
July 4th in Korea
Excerpts from Demian
Why I screen phone calls
Bret's Death Metal Report
A conversation at a cocktail party
A conversation at breakfast
So you think you are a Baltimorian
A conversation about a girl singer
Observations from a bar
Observations of strippers
Tech Language
Why I love Oasis
I would go to war
"You Son of a Bitch" An Open Letter to Tom Friend
Dance to Your Ocean
Dream Ranch
When men become pussies
Jason Whitlock is a racist propaganda promoter
Pitchfork takes music snobbery to new level
The Cosmic Clash of the Red Sox and Cubs
The Hatred that is Runts Candy
Starting corporate line-up
Google Bio
Do you know me? List 1 / List 2 / List 3
The Night I Burned Philly Down
So You Want to be a Booze Hound
She Said it was Free
Funniest Corporate Story Ever
Striped Shirts and the Fucks that Wear Them
Death Peddle
Pieces of Morning
Oasis Album Revew
The Art of Tipping
Starting Fires With Grass Stains
Bret's Federal Hill Food Review
Sexcapades and your Picture on the Internet
Stupid Secrets
Stupid Secrets the Return

Contact Me

Stuff I Swing By From Time to Time

Indie Video Archive
Large Hearted Boy
Important Records
Oasis News
Pitch Fork Media
Reptilian Records
Scenestars MP3 Blogs
Sound Garden Baltimore

Shotgun Apparel
Warrior Clothing

Angry Little Girls
Atom Films
Eye Envision
Homestar Runner
Kill Frog
Junior Varsity Meat Market

Baltimore City Paper
The Baltimore Sun
Calvert Hall
Degroen's Brewers
ESL Cafe
Fantasy Sports
Korean Herald
Villa Julie College Baseball
W3 Schools

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