Chapter 9 - Work
Work has always been a large part of my life.
There have been two main paradigms of thought when it came to work...
My Mother a Puritan Quakeresque worker with limited but honest and deep emotions.
My Father with hippiesque wastefulness of talent followed up by a shallow and wide river of constant emotion steeped in knowledge for which to hinder those from seeing the true depths.
Work has been how I have defined myself since I was 14. Before that I really thought I was special... I thought I was my Father in a lot of ways. I thought I was smarter than everyone and that it would all come so very easily. I understood work to be for the "other people" or the "stupid people".
When I reached High School and my special talents were minimal and pigeon holed I realized that sometimes it's more about work than it is about being unique or an individual... maybe if I was TRULY gifted I could have overcome work... but thankfully my Mother's genes kicked in and although it took me through High School and into my early 20's I developed a sense of worth by ALWAYS being employed and by outpacing those my own age.
I always thought to myself "He's 23, and I'm 23 and I make way more money than he does..." that was my narrow definition of success. It wasn't correct then and it still isn't. The definition came to me in my mid 20's and was honed and polished even up until today about what is important. For me - it's my future and a family and being the positive influence on life that I never really got to see from my own Father. It really boils down to being a good man. Eventually it will boil down to a need for something more - but for now... "Good man" is a good goal...especially given who I have always been.
Work has lead me down that path. It's taught me rules - dumb ones, good ones, rules you can break and bend, and rules that you can snub your nose at... but it's taught me the game and it's rules pretty fast. Playing by and taking advantage of the rules is 95A% of getting ahead and not being a "why me?" person.
I know people that don't work all that often or haven't found anything they are good at... they hop from job to job and they cope with drugs or alcohol and pretend they are artists and live vicariously through some sad side show that is only lit by the failed taking advantage of the other failed (encouragement from other failures is hardly encouragement... it's just an excuse to keep going in that direction)... they try to find their place in life and I'm sure at some point it will come but... learning to work is hard for most people.
This chapter was written in 3rd person as I observed the habits of 2 real and 2 fictional characters. 2 of them liked to work and 2 of them didn't. And then I wrote abotu a page on how that shaped their lives... and then we halved them again and had 1 that liked to work and 1 that didn't like it - both succeed while the other 2 didn't. It's a play on the randomness and natural cruelty that goes on in the world... anyway... I mean - just because you work hard doesn't really mean shit... but it definitely makes you feel better when you fail... and the social ring of trust does not go unbroken for those justly screwed...
Anywho....
Wedding planning is insane! But, you know... fun. If anyone knows a band that can cover Otis Redding and the Stones... hit me up -- that's my section of the day/night... we have a date and a place and hope to see all those I love having a good time a little less than a year from now.
Take care - and enjoy the fall!!
B
