Day 8
To my Dad on his last birthday -
I can't imagine it's not your last birthday. Seeing you withing the last year when you spring upon me at my house was jarring to say the least. It caused a flourish of emotion - much of it I am ashamed of. But I buried you a long time ago. You had every chance to be a part of my life - contribute, care, anything... and you took no advantage of that.
However, I regret everything that has happened over the last 10 years. I could have been a bigger and better son. I could have forgiven quicker and been stronger. Instead I chose self-preservation. And I'll regret that for the rest of my life. You do need to understand that it would have not been easy either way. Life is hard - and having such a selfish self destructive person in my life would have / could have been catastrophic.
I'll try to write more later. This is just to get started.
