Day 2
I’ve not had a drink in 10 days. And that makes me sound like an alcoholic but as you get older you realize that alcohol can mess you up - especially when you’ve abused it for 20 plus years.
But I’m writing right now because I’m crying - in the middle of the day - alone watching a star is born - and not because it’s sad but because I’m sad. I’ve had every opportunity to feel something great - or share something great - or put myself out front and naked - but I haven’t. I hide. I’m jaded. I’m cynical - and I’m lazy. And I’m a coward towards everything in my life.
I cant remember the last time I did anything honestly. I can’t remember being anything but miserable - and I’m miserable because I chose to be. Everyone around me just wants me to be happy but all I do is find the worst motives in their intentions - not the best. And I’m sick over it.
