Miss you
I’ve become way too comfortable reconciling that I have no one close to me in my life.
Tonight for example - friends that I know gathered and we talked about death - we talked about dying and funerals in a joking way... it was far too comfortable to assume - and everyone assumed - that not one person would show up at my funeral and no one would care or want to have anything to do with me.
I didn’t feel that way about anyone else - but they all had no problem making that joke at my expense. That’s ok. I just wish I wasn’t so comfortable with the idea that my life will never be celebrated or missed.
Ya know what they say though - you have to get what you give - and I must not give anything at all. Because I’m 99% sure I’m going to die alone... and it just may be by subconscious design.
