Losses
I keep seeing all my “friends” grow older. I see them still celebrating with people - now I am seeing it on social media and knowing what I know about social media people really only post for attention. Besides that I see people gathered, smiling, with lots of people taking pictures.
I don’t have that anymore. I don’t have any community of friends anymore. I have one here or one there one “hey how ya doing” but I don’t have any invites coming. I don’t have anyone looking to hang out with me.
Hell I couldn’t even throw my chili cook off 2 years ago because I was so out of it.
Im scared.
I’m jealous of happy people with lives and friends and community.
I’m going to be alone for the rest of it. That’s ok. I just have to learn how to deal with it. And also realize that these are my choices and my behavior.
