I took it all for granted
My whole life I pushed everyone away. I don’t know exactly why I did that but that’s what I do. Anyone in my family that tried to show me love I turned them down. And anyone of my friends that tried to help me I turned them down.
I don’t know if that was right or wrong. But I do know I’m alone now. I do know that if I left the earth very few people would care. And I don’t mind that - these are decisions I made. I don’t get sad over my decisions - I get sad over things that happen out of my control.
Maybe sometimes I didn’t think like my family. Maybe sometimes I didn’t feel confident enough or well enough to want to be around people. Maybe sometimes I wanted attention by being a martyr. Maybe sometimes I like superficial new relationships more than old ones because I get a chance to start again instead of knowing how people know me.
Everyone’s life is hard in their minds. You are not their concern after a while. Say no or do nothing long enough - everyone will leave you.
