Saturday, January 18, 2025
2025 books update
Meditations - Marcus Aurelius - pretty basic philosophies but it allows you to slow down and take in what true airstocracy looks like. Easy read - I’m sure if you studied it extensively you would draw more out.
Joan Didion - the year of magical thinking. - I liked learning about her more than her book I will admit. But she is a beautiful writer and I look forward to reading more of her.
Notes on the making of apocalypse now - Eleanor Coppola
- it was ok - makes FFC into a spoiled little fop. Good context though and some new tidbits.
Coppola’s Monster Film - Steven travers - see above - also good tidbits - Hollywood sucks - don’t read about it
Monday, January 13, 2025
2025 books
Joan Didion - the year of magical thinking. - I liked learning about her more than her book I will admit. But she is a beautiful writer and I look forward to reading more of her.
Notes on the making of apocalypse now - Eleanor Coppola
- it was ok - makes FFC into a spoiled little fop. Good context though and some new tidbits.
Coppola’s Monster Film - Steven travers - see above - also good tidbits - Hollywood sucks - don’t read about it
Sunday, January 12, 2025
Mornings
More precious than evenings
Are the mornings I get to spend
No weight
No pain
Not yet
Planning what may be.
All attentive to the day
Of possibility.
Evening and night
Now lend themselves
To intimate
Moments of capture
Wrapped with times
No longer wanting
Distraction,
I fucking see you - getting old.
Friday, January 10, 2025
Want From HN
Sat to the east
Waiting on John’s call
Pouted to the west
In an attempt to
Garner the ice cream girl’s eyes
Downed
Drowned
When to take the sparkle
To the voice
That cleans the
Soul to those
I’ll never know.
Never know.
I can’t live
If there is no God
I can’t sleep where
There is no peace.
Relationship with poison
In self destruction
Will end the way
It ends
In the time it takes
To mend
We can look at the ways
Life will begin
HN
Thursday, January 09, 2025
Things I want
Love without a…
Fun without an…
Smiles without a…
Peace without a….
I had that once. I think. I can have it again. I know. I’m ready for it mentally. The great thing about getting older is you put your bullshit aside and say “I’m sorry” and “I understand” because at the end of the day the other person will get there if you hold your arms open like a grandparent saying “I love you… come to me”
Tuesday, January 07, 2025
That time
The dog rested
On your arm
While you waited
For reprieve
You found peace
And a smile
Stay there
Chip
A small bowl of
Glistened grapes
Sit waiting
For the moment
You need something
Sweet
But didn’t think
About
Until you
Pushed
Monday, January 06, 2025
Trust
What is trust
Is it the sleep
Is it the look
No
Its the longing
It’s the understanding
Of what you want
And what you can tolerate
Big
Small
All measured but
The longing
And desire
Win out
Saturday, January 04, 2025
First runs
The first song chosen for the album
The first season of the best shows
The first movie before the sequel
The first scene written in a script
All of these things are the essence of the passion that the art was based on.
Friday, January 03, 2025
Gifts
Only someone that loves you
Actually
Gets you gifts
That remind you
That you are loved.
Wednesday, January 01, 2025
Start of a new story - untitled
It’s none of our business.
Maysel said these words out loud. She stopped herself. For the first time she thought about those words.
She was 43. She had never thought she was scared. But now she knew she was.
Bill turned up the heater in the car to 81 to combat the 32 seen on his dashboard.
Coldness, he can fix.
What was it that happened today?
He said to me… take me away from here.
The feeling of sharing was nothing he had in his life. This was the first thing he had really shared that was special and unique and that he didn’t embellish or glorify in quite some time.
It was the first genuinely interesting and abnormal moment he had in over 15 years.
“15 years. That’s gone.”
### note make the characters deal with you as the omniscient narrator / make them deal with the ideas you put in them
# Bill suffers from anxiety by overcompensating and lying.
#’maysel realizes she doesn’t care anymore and is small minded although educated and passionate once
# shepered saves them all with love and the best of both
Resolute
Give of myself
Be more charitable
Move in a better direction
Stop pretending you matter
Give always
Give until you give out
