- Bret Holmes Baltimore Md

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I Kan't Spell

Thursday, November 29, 2007

An Invite From My Company and Myself

    Please join us next Thursday for the 36th annual lighting of the Washington Monument!

    Bring your friends and family to enjoy the sounds of the season, eats and drink, and an unforgettable fireworks display.

    This is a fun event that’s always a hit so mark your calendars and come join us!

    Full details below.

    "A Monumental Occasion"

    Washington Monument Lighting
    Thursday, December 6, 2007
    Reception at 14 West begins at 5:00 pm
    Event ceremony starts at 6 pm
    Lighting ceremony at approximately 6:55 pm

I would love to meet up with everyone on this night - Maybe at O'sheas or midtown - but my company throws a huge street party and house party in our mansions the day this happens and you are all invited. Give me a call if you want to meet up.


Mount Vernon Place celebrates the holiday season with the 36th annual lighting of the Washington Monument. A Monumental Occasion takes place Thursday, December 6 with pre-event festivities at 5:30p.m. in Mount Vernon. The ceremony begins at 6p.m. with the official lighting at approximately 6:50 p.m. The evening includes performances, strolling entertainment, refreshments, and the official lighting by Mayor Sheila Dixon. The event ends with a colorful fireworks finale choreographed to music.

Monday, November 26, 2007

Greatest Moment in Television Awards History

And... this weekend was amazing. Thank you to everyone and everyone's family. Zorn Thanksgiving next year!!! We had a great time. It was great to see everyone and that someone peed themselves. Enjoy the above - love Bret.

Wednesday, November 21, 2007

This is what happens...
when you leave the camera on the table...

Also - Turkey Bowl tom. and Ruth's Chris this evening. Can't wait to see everyone and have people sleep on Erin's new furniture... lol I don't know what I'm saying. It's 8:11 am - I'm at work and I'm mildly drunk.

Monday, November 19, 2007

Late Ottobar Update

Ottobar (Baltimore, MD) - Black Dice, Pissed Jeans, Ponytail and WZT Hearts, Doors
Open At 8pm/ Show At 9pm- All Ages

Should be a keeper.

Euro 2008 Update

England has to beat Croatia Wed. I'll be somewhere watching it - you can bet your britches on that... "Why? I thought they were out." Because Israel stunned Russia leaving the door open for a chance at Euro 2008 if they can muster the Croats.

It should be a really good game.

In lighter news. How about those Ravens? Awesome. And so much fun to watch.

This weekend was like a boat of awesome. I officially must attend all weddings ever created ever. It is my new mission in life.

Thursday, November 15, 2007

Late Nights - And Update

I sit here every night until 8,9, or even 10 working my crazy 12-14 hour day. I often think "Is this worth it?" "Is this company taking advantage of me?" And then you have days, everyday actually, when you realize your professional career is turning towards something real, something promising, and something really exciting. The energy in this place some days is palpable and when you are running up and down stairs and talking about real money that you help make, it gets exciting. You no longer feel like a cog. You feel like you are steering your own destiny and it's an amazing feeling to have. You almost fall in love with yourself when you catch a glimpse of yourself in the mirror in the bathroom. You feel the energy bursts that run through your body when the meeting is waiting for YOU to show up, and everyone shuts up and listens when you have something to say. When the man in charge comes to your office and puts his feet up and cuts right to it by saying "God damn this is fucking exciting! I can't wait to see what's next." you feel guided by your own self. You feel successful.

I have worked my entire adult life in some way or another. And while some jobs may have been rewarding they were often without direction, without a future, or without joy. This is the first job that when someone asks me to work every day from 8 to 8 I gladly say "Indeed." I gladly roll up my sleeves and work the way I know how. I use my brain and I use my mouth. I use my own little swagger and instead of when it was once looked upon as annoying, here it is looked upon as eccentric intelligence surrounded by a great work ethic. I think for the first time I am clear on why I am happy with my job outside of just making money. I am happy with it because I’m good at it. I found something that allows me to somewhat shine. I want to high five myself every day.

Also today, the mansion had a giant Thanksgiving lunch with turkeys, ham, yams, corn bread, mac and cheese, greens, pie, cookies and whipped cream, and it was all made in house and not catered. It was made in our mansion's kitchen and served on its 40-place dining room setting. The meal was filled with jokes and laughs and for the first time in a professional setting I didn't feel awkward around who I worked with. I felt confident, comfortable, and cool and I think given my feedback about my performance, that it shows.

---- Out of the town for the weekend ---- Be back on Sunday afternoon. And for all coming in to town for Turkey weekend - let's do this!

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

Wow - Rap Graphs Make Me Laugh

Check it here for hours... literally hours... of wasteful time spent online trying to figure out which song is which. You will laugh.

Wow - Bone love...

"We're not against rap. We're not against rappers. But we are against those thugs."


Fuck me...

New Ryan Adams: Follow the Lights

No, not Easy Tiger. No, not 29. No, not Carolina Nights or whatever it is...or another of the 30 ep's he has released in the last 3 years. The new one has two great covers in "This is it" and "Down in a Hole". It's called Follow the Lights and it's only 7 songs but damn the kid has punch when he wants it.

Monday, November 12, 2007

No Country for Old Men: Get Ready For It

Once every few years the stars align to bring together a group of forces that create a critical mass for a movie. I know we have all seen the previews but we may not know that this is also based on a book by Cormac McCarthy. Cormac is one of my favorite writers. He wrote Blood Meridian which is one book on everyone's top 100 books of all time that no one has read. He also wrote All the Pretty Horses and Children of the Plain... he is the John Grisham of my life... popular but somehow so friggin edgy and good that I just get tight in my stomach reading him. I get on edge and uneasy reading his novels. I feel like it's porn for people who love writing.

So this critical mass involves The Coen Brothers, Cormac McCarthy, and one actor who I think has taken his abilities to another level late in his career - Tommy Lee Jones. The title is also taken from one of my favorite Yeats Poems "Sailing to Byzantium". And Carter Burwell from O Brother Where art Thou fame composed the music - - and I hope - - though it hasn't been released that T-Bone Burnett is involved somehow as well.

I haven't wanted to see a movie like this in so many years that I can hardly wait.

Blake and Lauren saw it the other night and knew they had to text me to tell me that it was amazing. They said that the movie was made for me. Thanksgiving weekend... it and I are going to bond.

Llewelyn Moss: If I don't come back, tell mother I love her.
Carla Jean Moss: Your mother's dead, Llewelyn.
Llewelyn Moss: Well I'll tell her myself then.

Wendell: You think this boy Moss got any notion of the sorts that're huntin' him?
Ed Tom Bell: I don't know, he ought to. He's seen the same things I've seen, and it's certainly made an impression on me.

Man who hires Wells: Just how dangerous is he?
Carson Wells: Compared to what? The bubonic plague?

Some more segments :

Thursday, November 08, 2007

Hesse : Damien - Retread

Excerpts from the book. I found this book fascinating and shockingly touching. A nice short quick read which
may flash some lights inside your head.

Pg. 53 - Speaking to Damien after the story of Cain and Able has made it's predominant place in the story.
    "I can see that your thoughts are deeper than you yourself are able to express. But since this is so, you know, don't you, that you've never liked what you are thinking and that isn't good. Only the ideas that we actually live are of any value."

Pg. 54 - Attempting to convince Sinclair to break free from his traditional molds.
    That is why each of us has to find out for himself what is permitted and what is forbidden. It's possible for one never to transgress a single law and still be a bastard. And vice versa. Actually it's only a question of convenience. Those who are too lazy and comfortable to think for themselves and be their own judges obey the laws. Others sense their own laws...Each person must stand on his own two feet"

Pg. 64 - Sinclair chooses the average life during his college years
    "Nonetheless, I felt wretched. I lived in an orgy of self-destruction and, while my friends regarded me as a leader and as a damned sharp and funny fellow, deep down inside me my soul grieved."

Pg. 66 - See pg 64. in relation to his slob ways.
    "In my odd and unattractive way of quarreling with the world - this was my way of protesting."

Pg. 77 - Sinclair realizes his own potential. He focuses on the (excuse me here) "The art of living". He has found a peer who tells him of the ridiculous aspects of religion and this sparks him to the thirst for knowledge and saves him from expulsion from family and school.
    "This change did not bring me into the community of the others, did not make me closer to anyone, but actually made me even lonelier"

Pg. 91 - This made me think of archetypes (not that I fully understand them) Again Sinclair is still with the peer who says this to him. He is about to break ties with this man and break out of his own shell open to the world.
    "We always define the limits of our personality too narrowly. In general, we count as part of our personality only that which we can recognize as an individual trait or as diverging from the norm. But we can consist of everything the world consists of, each of us, and just as our body contains the genealogical table of evolution as far back as the fish and even much further, so we bear everything in our soul that once was alive in the soul of men. Every god and devil that ever existed, be it among the Greeks, Chinese, or Zulus, are within us, exist as latent possibilities, as wishes, as alternatives. If the human race were to vanish from the face of the earth save for one halfway talented child that had received no education, this child would rediscover the entire course of evolution, it would be capable of producing everything once more, gods and demons, paradises, commandments, the Old and the New testament"

Pg. 97 - Struck a chord in me, considering how often I not only use the word "hate", but actually think I feel the emotion of hate. Plus that last sentence in the first part says so much about our own personal interests.
    "If you hate a person, you hate something in him that is part of yourself. What isn't part of ourselves doesn't disturb us....The things we see are the same things that are within us. That is why so many people live such an unreal life. They take the images outside them for reality and never allow the world within to assert itself. You can be happy that way. But once you know the other interpretation you no longer have the choice of following the crowd. ...the majorities path is an easy one ours is difficult."

Pg. 107 - Sinclair talks about the separation from mentor or father. The need to break from the known light and find his own.
    "But where we have given of our love and respect not from habit but of our own inmost hearts, it is a bitter and horrible moment when we suddenly recoginze that the current within us wants to pull us away from what is dearest to us. Then every thought that rejects the friend and mentor turn into our own hearts like a poisoned barb, then each blow struck in defense flies back into one's own face, the words 'disloyalty' and 'ingratitude' strike the person who feels he was morally sound like catcalls and stigma, and the frightened heart flees timidly back to the charmed valleys of childhood virtues, unable to believe that this break, too, must be made, this bond also broken."

Pg. 111 - Sinclair talks about the search for a vocation and how the decision on a path of work is trivial. The only path is inward to yourself.
    "Each man had only one genuine vocation - to find the way to himself. He might end up a poet or madman, as prophet or criminal - that was not his affair, ultimately it was of no concern. His task was to discover his own destiny - not an arbitrary one - and live it out wholly and resolutely within himself. Everything else was only a would-be existence, an attempt at evasion, a flight back to the ideals of the masses, conformity and fear of one's own inwardness.

Pg. 119 - Talking about the ideals of man as a general communion,. He goes on to foreshadow by saying that is does not exist. He says that the community spirit is only a manifestation of the herd.
    "It will reveal bankruptcy of present-day ideals, there will be a sweeping away of stone age gods. The world, as it is now, wants to die, wants to perish - and it will."

Pg. 120 - Talking about the plight of the common man and the nightmare that we never see creep on us. Nor do we see it as a nightmare. It merely resounds as reality. This passage made me get up and go to the mirror.
    "I remembered civil servants in my home town, worthy old gentlemen who clung to the memories of their drunken university days as to keepsakes from paradise and fashioned a cult of their vanished student years as poets or other romantics fashion their childhood. It was the same everywhere! Everywhere they looked for "freedom" and "luck" in the past, out of sheer dread of their present responsibilities and future course. They drank and caroused for a few years and then they slunk away to become serious minded gentlemen in the service of the state."

Pg. 122 - Talking of going home. This struck a chord considering...
    "One never reaches home. But where paths that have affinity for each other intersect, the whole world looks like home, for a time."

So what does all this mean to me? Have you ever thought about greatness and what it would take? Have you lusted after the thought of immortality or triumph unbeknownst to anything you could imagine inside your own dying world? I did. I thought I might actually achieve it at one point. I was younger and unhumbled by the world. Reading this gave me more incentive to redefine those paths that once held the future for me but were never drawn or mapped out. I wanted the glory without wanting to travel the arduous road.

It also kicks off some sort of paradoxical spiral that can never end. It sort of makes me think that the things that stuck out in the story are the only things that I myself can identify with. There were probably hundreds of points to be made in the book but these were the ones that stuck with me. Why? Is it a reflection of myself? But, I don't think I would have even noticed these half of those things had it not been for what I have read recently about archetypes. So what does that mean, does that mean as I learn then I grow somehow genetically and internally to be able to receive more things from the world. I think it does mean that...woohoo!

Sidenote- I just realized that all of Hesse's stuff is translated. I wonder if it was one guy who did all his books. I mean they all have the same tone. It's just truly awesome the way he writes. He is a novelist of ideas as opposed to one of stories. He was also studying CSJ at the time. He carries with him this ultimate morality, like Kundera. Read Siddartha! That's the only book my father ever gave me...

Ravens Joke (I'm still done but thought it was funny)

A guy walks into a bar wearing a Raven's jersey, and carrying a cat that also has a Raven's jersey on with a little Raven's helmet on his head, too.

The guy says to the bartender, "Can my cat and I watch the Raven's game here? My TV is broke and my cat and I always watch the game together".

The bartender replies, "Normally, cats wouldn't be allowed in the bar, but it's not very busy in here right now, so you and the cat can have a seat at the end of the bar. But, if there's any trouble with you or the cat, I'll have to ask you to leave."

The guy agrees, and he and his cat start watching the game. Pretty soon the Raven's kick a field goal and the excited cat jumps up on the bar and walks down the bar and gives everyone a high five.

The bartender says, Hey, that's pretty cool! What does he do for a touchdown?"

The guys answers, "I don't know, I've only had him for 3 years

Irish Festival

Is this weekend - John will be tending bar and the lines for booze and song will be long - -

The train from Vernon departs tom. at 5 pm.

Why I love My Company

Received the following email this morning from the head of our Editorial Staff.

    For Immediate Release
    Contact: William (Bill) WRITERGUY III, Managing Editor, MY COMPANY

    Headline: Managing Editor WRITERGUY to Buy Vein-Clogging (But Great-Tasting) Greaseburgers for MyCompany Colleagues.

    Baltimore (MY COMPANYnewswire) -- MY COMPANY Managing Editor William "I sleep on my keyboard" WRITERGUY III announced today (Wednesday) that he's taking his colleagues to Five Guys Hamburgers tomorrow (Thursday) as part of a team-building exercise intended to foster camaraderie, build character, quench appetites and thirst, and whatever else he can think of.

    "I'm really hungry for one of those doggone greaseburgers," WRITERGUY told "But I'm embarrassed to admit it. So I figured if we all walked in together, I could blend in with the crowd. Besides, I filched money out of my wife's purse when she wasn't looking, and told her she must've been short-changed again at Wegman's. She can't understand why it happens each week."

    Messers WRITERGUY2 and WRITERGUY3 disclosed earlier today that they were part of the burger deal. But WRITERGUY said late today that the deal's contingent on signing up globally known high-tech Director Bret Holmes, and marketing wunderkind RIGHTHANDMAN.

    WRITERGUY said the takeover-takeout deal deadline will remain open until noon tomorow.

    For more information, visit

Wednesday, November 07, 2007

In Light of Today's Activities of PLanning a Trip

So the Orioles are playing in Chicago and we have a crew going so far: Me, Zorn, John, Jer, Erin, Erin, and I'm sure the Gergaghty clan will be wanting to attend. It's the ultimate weekend and the first time the O's will play in Chicago. I can't wait!!!

For this occasion I thought of titles for the shortest Oriole books ever written:

Throwing Strikes by Daniel Cabrera

Managing to Win by Sam Perlozzo forward by Lee Mazzilli

Smart Trades by Syd Thrift

Natural Muscle Building Techniques by Jay Gibbons

A Decade of Winning by the Orioles Front Office

Beauty in 10 days by Peter Angelos

How to make a City Love you by The Angelos Family

How to be as Manly as Possible by Brady Anderson

Rise above Choking in Clutch Situations by Armando Benitez, Chris Ray. Forward by Arod.

Patience by Corey Patterson

Baserunning Discretion by Melvin Mora

Media Savvy by Erik Bedard

Safety Behind the Wheel by Albert Belle

Just Say No! by Rafael Palmeiro

Respect for Umpires by Roberto Alomar

How to Hit the Ball with Authority by Brandon Fahey and Luis Hernandez

Catching and Hitting Extraordinarily...My Life in the Bigs by Paul Bako

Staying Sober: A Success Story by Sidney Ponson

Baltimore Life by Casey Blake

Healthy Living by Hayden Penn

And Finally!!!
The Red $ox Suck by Kevin Millar

Tuesday, November 06, 2007

Orioles Schedule for 2008

Released today - -





- - - -

Ok.. so also today you will notice that insect face, I mean Sheila Dixon will be wrapping up the Baltimore Mayoral eleection. She will also do it to the tune of almost 5 million dollars. 5 millions dollars to defeat this Republican candidate... I pretty sure that could fuel at least 4 or even 5 homeless shelters for a year or even buy bakc 10 or 15 blocks of demolished Baltimore homes for clean demolition.

Thanks Sheila - I am so pumped about your reign as mayor. It should rank right up there with a fart that you can't wait to fade away out of your smell range.

- - - -

Also, last night may have been my Baltimore football swan song. Was it me or were we taunting the Steelers even after we were down 28-0? Also it's been coming for a long time now... football fans are just... well... stupid. I mean seriously, the average football conversation is about as well-educated and thought out as taking a shit. 95% of the people who watch football have never played it in an organized setting but yet feel completely inclined to let me know that "THE 4-3 DEFENSE IS THE ONLY FUCKING WAY TO GO MOTHERFUCKER!!!" I mean seriously... buddy... get a life. Nobody really knows what they are talking about but yet the tensions mount and the conversation turns into a penis showing contest. I don't know... it all seems absurdly boarish and boring.

- - - -

Favorites List
Pandora Song List
Amazon Wish List
Revolutionary Wealth - Tofflers
Brian Jones

Things Making Me Smile
The City
Listening - [out of 5]
Benjy Ferree - 4.8
The Thermals 3.1
David Gray 3.8

Like the guy with the beard? YES - like the guy with the beers. What? Yep

Bands That I Check Schedules For
Badly Drawn Boy
Belle and Sebastian
Benjy Ferree
The Black Keys
Drive By Truckers
The Eels
Kimya Dawson
Mark Hopkins Band
Iron and Wine
Mates of State
Ted Leo
Two if By Sea

Places I Rock in the Flesh
9:30 Club
Black Cat
Electric Factory
The Knitting Factory
The Otto Bar
Recher Theatre

Places I Eat/Drink in the Flesh
Bishop's Collar
Cross Street Market
Hull Street
Joun Gak
Mick O'Shea's
No Way Jose
The Irish Pub
The Waterfront Hotel

My Greatest Hits (that's so lame)

The time I almost killed a child
July 4th in Korea
Excerpts from Demian
Why I screen phone calls
Bret's Death Metal Report
A conversation at a cocktail party
A conversation at breakfast
So you think you are a Baltimorian
A conversation about a girl singer
Observations from a bar
Observations of strippers
Tech Language
Why I love Oasis
I would go to war
"You Son of a Bitch" An Open Letter to Tom Friend
Dance to Your Ocean
Dream Ranch
When men become pussies
Jason Whitlock is a racist propaganda promoter
Pitchfork takes music snobbery to new level
The Cosmic Clash of the Red Sox and Cubs
The Hatred that is Runts Candy
Starting corporate line-up
Google Bio
Do you know me? List 1 / List 2 / List 3
The Night I Burned Philly Down
So You Want to be a Booze Hound
She Said it was Free
Funniest Corporate Story Ever
Striped Shirts and the Fucks that Wear Them
Death Peddle
Pieces of Morning
Oasis Album Revew
The Art of Tipping
Starting Fires With Grass Stains
Bret's Federal Hill Food Review
Sexcapades and your Picture on the Internet
Stupid Secrets
Stupid Secrets the Return

Contact Me

Stuff I Swing By From Time to Time

Indie Video Archive
Large Hearted Boy
Important Records
Oasis News
Pitch Fork Media
Reptilian Records
Scenestars MP3 Blogs
Sound Garden Baltimore

Shotgun Apparel
Warrior Clothing

Angry Little Girls
Atom Films
Eye Envision
Homestar Runner
Kill Frog
Junior Varsity Meat Market

Baltimore City Paper
The Baltimore Sun
Calvert Hall
Degroen's Brewers
ESL Cafe
Fantasy Sports
Korean Herald
Villa Julie College Baseball
W3 Schools

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