I Kan't SpellIn response to a question about the financial crisis:
This is when you need to super worry!!!...If the dollar doesn't becomes decoupled with the oil and gold standards we'll float through on rations and scare tactics. If that happens that means America no longer sets the price for the world's most valuable commodities... that means we might as well be Germany or Argentina in the world's eye and if it weren't for the fact that we could start a war anywhere on Earth including the moon we might even get invaded or some crazy shit... lol - just kidding... sorta... I also predict another war soon... war fuels our economy and makes us bitch less... so look for one coming to a theatre near you. The bottom line is that you'll see it in the breadlines. The poor will get poorer the picket signs will come out and people who are retired are fucked beyond belief. If you were living off of dividends... say goodbye to those days and practice this line "Welcome to Wal-Mart". But as with everything... I'm sure it's not as bad as we think. Lower middle class people will struggle, the poor will die faster, the rich will buy all the shit cheap and wait for it to rebound. The division of class gets wider and you think you are doing ok because you can put gas in your car... but ain't that America!?! Yawn Debate If I was going to pick a winner of that debate ... and compare it to something we all understand; a football score... I would say the final score was 9-6 Obama. There were no touchdowns and very few straight answers. McCain and his repeating 18 billion dollar ear marks bored even me - Obama and his inability to answer anything and desire to make everyone aware of how liberal he is...but isn't were what quagmired the whole process. It really felt like Lehrer didn't get a straight answer all night other then when McCain answered how he would fix the current financial crisis by saying that there would be a freeze. But... in the end... I can't deny that Obama came out looking stronger on most issues and he represented that he wanted to represent more Americans then McCain. The fact that John didn't come back over the top on tax cuts for the wealthy and then justified it by saying that the 35% business tax should be lowered to create more business (yawn!). That and the "surge" and "veterans" affairs -- honestly made John come out the weaker of the two candidates. Even though what John said had more substance and more direction... his delivery and platform are vulnerable to such a charismatic younger leader. Palin vs Biden may be the best "Must See TV" EVER!!! With what is going on right now... and I don't know how many of you realize how close we are to a total break down of financial processes and our own stock market... but seriously... this is the most important debate of our lifetime. I would honestly suggest that we get to know the plans not only for the coming president but for his cabinet as well... Secretary of State could be a more important position than that of President considering the amount of debt that China, and Europe will buy up. I know I've been saying that it will get bad... and it has... but seriously believe me when i say... it may/will get much much worse. #3 There's a little girl with the red shoes on Hello There's a little boy with a pistol in his pants Hello Pure sex comes from Somewhere That ties you into the motion of the weather It sweeps down and finds you in it It jumps out of the colors Taste Books et al A line from The Wind Up Bird Chronicles that I liked that helps to explain the roles of non-traditional people and how they think:
Also the book fair is this weekend in Mt Vernon. What a lovely time to have that cool weather catch the back of your neck while your searching for the next great read or the next great read is searching for you. Best man speach went ok - -I gave it a 4/10. Had a pretty great time with some great friends. Still paid 45$ to see Indiana Jones and the Skulls or whatever it's called... Ali turns 30! City play Wigan. That is all. Keep it right. Happy Birthday Mom You are the reason I am what I am. If there is anything good in me... it came from you. All my love... Joe Squared Pizza I don't know who paid the City Paper off... or what trendy bullshit pot smoking club the people who hang out at J^2 belong to but... that pizza... ain't right. It's sour dough and it smells like a bar. If the City Paper gave that the best Pizza in town then Maria D's must have won it once before because I would rather eat BOP, Viccino's, or friggin Papa Johns for that matter rather then eat this jam. Love, Uncle Bret Best of Baltimore: A 29 year old, single, white, straight, d/d f, male resident of Mt Vernon It's that time of the year again... the leaves are changing the weather lends itself to that cool ass jacket you own or the hoodie you love the most. The concert lists at your local 500+ person venue are no longer filled with "Who the fuck is this?" but instead, you start finding sweet gems of joy like Deerhoof at the Sidebar FOR NO REASON! Football season is in full swing and by football I obviously mean the EPL. I've already been in a fight at Slainte and the cherry on top of the wonder that is the beginning of Fall is always the City Paper's release of the Best of Baltimore issue. Possibly the most self serving, free shit getting, jerk off to yourself publication in the world, today released their (god only knows how many) umpteenth "Best of Baltimore" issue. My new neighbors are lining the streets with thousands of pages of "Look how awesome I am." And they deserve it... because well... does it get any cooler than the BoB issue of the City Paper. Thousands of hipsters today smelling of bong water, filter less camels, a swift sprits of Nautica cologne and failure, will be holed up in bars discussing who really does have the best fries or why their friend Mark wasn't featured in the "Best Musician without a job" category. "He's sooooo good though." lol I have to admit that as I have now turned 29 and stopped drinking more than twice per week... I feel like I have fallen out of favor with what is cool or what is "hip" in the land of Pleasant Living. But... just when I was about to throw my cool cape into the fire and retire to the nearest Outback on York road or start watching the E! channel... the BoB restores my faith in me because I could have written this... but you know... better. But I digress... Let the Bums of Baltimore rejoice because they can now pad their beds and shirts with this uber-thick gold nugget of "What's cool and new in Baltimore." Here we go with the highlights and lowlights: Best place for a quiet drink: The Waterfront Hotel - Well well well - "Music is usually a mellow and hip assortment, selected from the bartender's iPod." I know that Ipod. It even has Oasis on it...and Travis... and well... most of the other cd's I own... and then some Cat Power (boo~!...sorry T) The Waterfront has truly turned the corner when it comes to being possibly the best upstairs lounge in Baltimore. We all look forward to the opening of Miss Irene's coming soon... And since my year long hiatus from Fells has now expired... I am ready to rock the waterfront...occasionally...infrequently... well... less than monthly unless I'm watching soccer... anyway WOO! Best Band: Ponytail - For over two years now I have been touting the love for Ponytail. My neighbors are legitimate and while their music is different - if you can't appreciate what they turn out then you are more than likely the kind of asshole that hates classical music or Jazz. Molly, the lead singer, can be seen riding her bike and delivering parcels around town. Ponytail can be seen on the national stage in a matter of months. Kudos to you smellies! Best Monument: Billie Holiday Statue My favorite Monument in Baltimore - hands down is the Lafayette monument... simply because only about 6 people I have ever met know why it's there and that's how I fucking roll. Best Library Branch. County :Rosedale Library the 37 holding it down. I still love the smell of that library... Best Politician, Getting The Job Done: Mayor Sheila Dixon Wow. Just wow... Just because Charles st is getting a new sidewalk does not make Sheila Dixon my mayoral hero. Nary a more corrupt city official since Schmoke hath taken office more over the desk and fucked it harder than Sheila Dixon. Her proposed East to West light rail is by far the dumbest thing I have ever heard (look what the light rail did for Towson... let's do that to the four corners of Baltimore...smell my sarcasm there). The murder is rate low... whoopie... I liked it when it was high so we had something to brag about... now we can't get new business in here and other than convention center keeping downtown churning I don't see any new horizon cutters going up other than stupid apartment buildings. So Sheila... stop needing kickbacks for people to come to town and just be an honest person. Love, your over taxed constituent. Best Local Sportscaster :Joe Angel "There's a deep drive...it's way back...it could be...what a drive! Mora up with it and throws on to first." This category shouldn't exist until either Chuck Thompson is resurrected on a stick on John Miller is hired back. The curse of John Miller still lives. Best TV Commercial: Eastern Motors No doubt about this one! Best Men's Haircut: Beatnik Barbershop The men/ and one woman who cut the hairs of both Douglas and myself have been featured. Kudos. Now I have something to talk to them about. Best Antique Store: Woodward's The mayor of Federal Hill's new jam. I started a website for it... he fell of the face of the earth. Maybe this will give me a reason to get paid. Woodward's does rock though... Best Place to Buy Groceries: Mars Let me ask you something. Did all the other Super Markets in the world blow up? Did Mars change ownership or get cleaner nice stores with better products not located in the dregs and annals of Baltimore and the surrounding counties? I smell a kickback to the City Paper on this one... Best Hostel: Hi Baltimore Hostel The only one I've ever seen but to be honest I would stay there. It's a big giant mansion and you can always find a car right out in front of it filled to the brim with all of someone's possesions...The key to knowing whether or not someone lives in their car... If there's shampoo in there... that's where they live. 'nuf said. Best Dentist: Dr. Kimberly Ford Fluffy. 'nuf. Said. Best Yoga Studio: Charm City Yoga Sup neighbor. Best Korean Restaurant: Nam Kang EHHHH! Wrong! Try again. Joun Gak. Thanks for coming out though. Best Italian Restaurant: Chiapparelli's I don't know what doobie they were smoking. But I wouldn't get a glass of water from Chiapparelli's and my childhood friend Dina Bernadelli has now married into it. Even with that... I see no reason to ever go in there. Best Tapas/Small Plates :Tapas Teatro In agreement. But can we not just recommend everything in Mt Vernon? I mean... it's kinda absurd sometimes. Best Chicken Wings: Bruce Lee's Wings This is absurd. Bruce Lee's wings may be the worst wings I've ever had. I would rather make my own fucking wings out of my toilet presents then eat Bruce Lee's wings. The gelatinous mass of orange goop that sticks to them tastes like old woman ointment. Best Pit Beef: Pioneer Pit Beef Blasphemers! If it wasn't cut, carved, dropped on the floor, possibly spit in, overcooked and then slopped on a bun within the confines of Pulaski Highway then it's not pit beef. It's something else... I'll call it... county tripe... or a turd burger. Yep - turd burger. Best Pizza: Joe Squared So close yet so far away (North Ave.) But just the other week I think I commented on how Joe Squared looks like a really nice place. I think I'll be eating my next boob expander from there. Best Bar For Smoking Outside: Flip's At Clipper Mill - this one should be named Dumbest category. But I would have to say that James Joyce is easily the best bar for smoking outside. Best Upscale Bar: Jay's On Read Street Those who read the City Paper and that are reading this may want to go to Jay's on Read Street for a drink with some friends. I warn you however that this bar also fits into another category "Best gay Bar in town". Just fair warning. It's next to The Drinkery. Best Place to Fake Rich: 13th Floor Yet another category change for this answer. Instead of Best Place to Fake Rich it could be Best Place to Never Go and Say That You Used to Go When it Was Cool and You Couldn't Catch a VD from the Bathroom. Best First-Date Bar: Peter's Inn I don't know why a creep bar in a side alley adjacent to a CVS that is completely empty other than on Friday's is considered a good "First date" bar... but... each his own. Try not to end up in a dumpster. Best Pit-Stop Drink: Midtown Yacht Club Yet again this category should be changed to "Most smelly fucking bar in the world...but you want it to not smell because it's not a bad bar." Best Sports Bar: Sláinte hmmm... I agree. Best Bar Pool Table: Spirits Tavern While it is a great Pool table it's also the most difficult pool table I have ever played on in my life and it weren't for that sweet ass Oriole painting - - I would have put my stick through the walls on many an occasion. Best Song: DJ Excel, "That's What a Pimp Does" - Replace with "Dance my pain away" Well that is all for now. I wanted to add some of my own categories...maybe later. The City Paper releases a great issue they do... but after reading it... it's really sophomoric. To all those... It's such a lovely day and I'm glad you feel the same. As we stand up UP! Watching flowers grow. Best man speach started today... looks solid... don't let me drink before I have to give it. I'm gonna say this one more time... Nobody...and I mean... nobody wants to see your covered rendition on Youtube of any song ever made. Save your covers for the corners of bars and open mic nights. When I'm trying to find Pocohantus by Neil Young I don't need to find 85 videos of some asshole sitting in his room with his acoustic guitar belting out his shitty rendition of a classic song. Love, Bret p.s. - Put down the pipe and get a job. Saturday In - probably - the biggest game for Manchester City aside from the Darby - in 5 years.... we will be taking on Chelsea at home on Saturday. Here is my projected line-up --Zabalata---Dunne---Richards---Ball-- --------Kompany--Hamman------- -----SWP---Elano----Petrov ---------Jo/Robinho-------- CITY! Happy Bouncy Song of the Day I've put it on here so many times... but honestly... does it ever get old? Strap it on! T minus 4 days until City and Chelsea Or.. this other just amazing Acoustic song that I wish i would have written... and so does everyone else alive - - Home New floors creek. Walls smell like lemon. Wake up to your own, Sleep to dander. There are moments When pixies take your arms Pick them up and Nothing seems real. Once rare fruit loses taste. Clear blue water turns dark. And all that is left is the morning and love. Bret's Calendar Update Today- Going to look at the house one last time Tonight - last first Thursday with Agora Publishers and MG This weekend - moms for fishing and relaxing Next weekend - Chelsea and City, Jeffs Bachelor party Following weekend - Craigs wedding, speach, Mom Birthday Holy Shit! City is INSANE First off we got bought by Abu Dhabi investment group and then the guy says "I'm the new Abromavich". And then he SIGNS ROBINHO!!! Are you kidding... what a red letter friggin day for CITY! | Favorites List Pandora Song List Amazon Wish List Reading Revolutionary Wealth - Tofflers Brian Jones Things Making Me Smile The City Newness Listening - [out of 5] Benjy Ferree - 4.8 The Thermals 3.1 David Gray 3.8 Quote(S) Like the guy with the beard? YES - like the guy with the beers. What? Yep Bands That I Check Schedules For Badly Drawn Boy Belle and Sebastian Benjy Ferree The Black Keys Deerhoof Drive By Truckers The Eels Enon Kimya Dawson Mark Hopkins Band Oasis Iron and Wine Mates of State Ted Leo Travis Two if By Sea Ween Places I Rock in the Flesh 9:30 Club Black Cat Electric Factory Fletcher's 8x10 The Knitting Factory The Otto Bar Recher Theatre Sonar Places I Eat/Drink in the Flesh Aldo's Bishop's Collar Boccacio's Cross Street Market Hull Street Joun Gak Mick O'Shea's No Way Jose Porter's The Irish Pub Turner's The Waterfront Hotel My Greatest Hits (that's so lame) The time I almost killed a child July 4th in Korea Excerpts from Demian Why I screen phone calls Bret's Death Metal Report A conversation at a cocktail party A conversation at breakfast So you think you are a Baltimorian A conversation about a girl singer Observations from a bar Observations of strippers Tech Language Why I love Oasis I would go to war "You Son of a Bitch" An Open Letter to Tom Friend Dance to Your Ocean Dream Ranch When men become pussies Jason Whitlock is a racist propaganda promoter Pitchfork takes music snobbery to new level The Cosmic Clash of the Red Sox and Cubs The Hatred that is Runts Candy Starting corporate line-up Google Bio Do you know me? 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