- Bret Holmes Baltimore Md

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I Kan't Spell

Tuesday, May 31, 2005

Some things never change

How much could it matter to be that broke? The launched starch of a man that walked along remembered the feeling of wind. He remembered the idea of red balls and kites. There was a jangle somewhere and his stomach rumbled even more. How could he expect identification to his plight? What was he owed by those who walk down to the coalmines? What has his body done to repay what God had forgotten about his smile?

In his anxious approach to be there he mumbled, "I love you. I never stopped loving you. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't clench my fist and raise it to God and wish, no BEG, for just to smell your hair in the morning as a breeze blows in. Just to see you wake up and tell me that we have 'plans'." She was confused at the way his eyes looked. She thought he was lying. She thought he was insane. He was both. He was lonely and she was the only thing that he knew how to not be lonely with. She wanted to leave and uproot herself from his stare. She wanted to run into the arms of another man that was standing 20 yards away. She touched his cheek and pretended to cry the same way. He shuttered and she sighed. The circle of the American nothing was now complete.

She's going to let it out one day. She's going to let all pour out. Princes and Kings are all on paper but paupers and pushers in her bedroom. She's going to keep her own destiny one day. She'll have it wrapped up on pink tissue paper and hidden in something more elegant than a shoebox, but still not lined with satin. She's going to discover what it was to become to be her. She's going to let it out and like a disease finds a nose or a cold finds the hot window, something else will know what it is to be her body.

She jumped back like she had been electrocuted by something as powerful as love. She jumped back and thought that this might be the only time in her life that she had seen God. God? No answer came from the man in front of her. She hadn't really moved her mouth any way. God would be able to hear her without reverb. She loved the way black looked on blue. She loved the way her tan thigh used to look draped over his thigh in the summer morning when they would breath the same air. God? The man in front of her turned. "Is this your floor?" She stepped by him and shyly muttered, "Yes." The man winked and while the doors were closing said, "Thought so."

New White Stripes

Only a day early but a day early none-the-less - I am listening to "Get Behind Me Satan" by the White Stripes (well before I buy it tomorrow I guess) - anyway it's so fuckin good, just like everything they do - unfortunately I feel greasy listening to them now - - I don't know why - - and to be honest I really don't care this is pretty different from their other stuff and I like that they recorded it 2 weeks ago and are releasing it now - - that's so fucking hot to me.

This has a good bit of blue grass, pop, country and starnge synth death. The title track Blue Orchid won't do too well in my opinion because it's about 6 months ahead of it's time in sound - but it's real solid if you haven't heard it. "Little Ghost" is a cute choir type song that makes you smile. "I'm lonley (but I ain't that lonely yet" is exactly what you think it is. Jack's voice doesn't quite hold it down on a piano with out the guitar. I would have loved to hear Meg sing that one. Red Rain while playing the spoons with the slide guitar is cute and all - I mean - just get to rockin without sounding like Rush - but hell a little Rush isn't that bad. (Just a little though) Take, Take, Take is my track. And what's with the Ben Fold's on The Denial Twist - best Jack vocals though - - - White Moon White Moon is also a hot track.

I mean overall there is a lot of Piano and maraccas. It's their most experimental album to date as far as the instruments but - let's hope they spend another 2 weeks recording another album and then release that by the end of August.

I'd upload it but I am very anti-music mp3. Not because of what they satnd for because it's stealing or anything - I'm against it because music should be intimate and a sacrifice of some sort. There should be something romantic about buying cds - there should be some sort of prejudice involved when selecting your music - - if you just bombard yourself with everything all the time then all you become is a sponge for too much - you'll never fall in love with a band - you'll just be a whore.

Pieces of Morning

She can't help it. She tried to run down the elevator. She wanted to slip through the cracks and past all the cables and down to the cellar where no one knows that she was haunting the boy she knew as a girl. She can't help it. She can't help but grab her own hands and rub them over and over again as if she were trying to get motor oil out of her husband's best shirt. She couldn't stop shaking inside her stomach. She quaked there in the corner of the glass elevator. She quaked and cried to her own body. All she wanted to do was scream and grab him by the side of his face, call out his name, and pray that he wouldn't laugh. She wanted all this but only because she smelled the cologne of the man she used to love on the person in front of her.

Deep runs the river of emotion.
"It gets better with time." the girl in the bar said to me after she noticed I hadn't picked my head up to look at anyone in about an hour. She patted me on the shoulder and insisted that it would "get better with time".
"It only gets worse." I put my drink down and paid for hers at the same time. She whipped her head around and tried to get a glimpse of what I already knew would happen. She wanted to see for herself what would make someone feel that way. What could make someone so human and alive. What hold must she have over him? She wondered if there was someone in a bar, looking down at the floor, playing old songs in a jukebox, and thinking of her the same way. She hoped there was.

Sweet Apolonia came to the foot of me with open eyes. She had big eyes that could do no wrong in the voice of the book. In the voice of her book she was all but saved. In my paintings she hung upside down on rose bushes made of glass. She could sit there and stroke kittens out of floor boards but it made no difference to either the kitties or the wood. She had ice in her hands that was used to make wine and she would offer it to me every so often and say, "Here, I made this for you." I rolled my eyes and said "Listen child, ain't no kitten gonna make the world a better place. And ain't no wine that comes from you ever gonna quench my thirst. You can sit there and pet the trees until they call back to you with lemon drops and cotton sheets. But ain't no lover gonna take the place of a book written by a belief. "

It was aesthetic pretty in a place of black and brown. The feeling of water in the air always makes your face greasy and always making your body heavy. Heavy brown water splashing on your soul makes you notice the life that wasn't. Ugly brown putrid faucet spitting makes everything seem pretty that comes to you in white. Anything dead in white is prettier than brown and death. Anything clumsy and falling up stairs to make amends for the awkwardness that comes with dying, is a cherished encounter that captures all your stomach says about the way you live.

It was red shocks of hair turning white orchids blue. It was hot coals of lust painting ceilings with blood and God. It was a house perched in a cool field that caused the lambs to bleat their way all the way to the knife. It was your extended hand that changed the peace of a boy to the turmoil strength of a man.

And in the lap of present sat a piece of cloth made out of white linen and black rose peddles. It looked as though a window had opened and blown life together with what life could make. Woven fabric of soft made the sun seem even more trivial to where we were going.

Friday, May 27, 2005

Magonlia Mountain

I want to go to Magnolia Mountain
And lay my weary head down
Down on the rocks
On the mountain my savior made
Steady my soul and ease my worry
Hold me when I rattle like a hummingbird hummin'
Tie me to the rocks on the mountain my savior made

Lie to me
Sing me a song
Sing me a song until the morning comes
If the morning comes, will you lie to me
Will you take me to your bed
Will you lay me down
Till I'm heavy like the rocks on the riverbed
That my savior made

I want to be the bluebird singing
Singing to the roses in her yard
The roses in her yard her father grew for her
It's been raining that Tennessee honey
So long I got too heavy to fly
Ain't no bluebird ever gets too heavy to sing

Lie to me
Sing me a song
Sing me a song until the morning comes
And if the morning don't come, will you lie to me
Will you take me to your bed
Will you lay me down
Till I'm heavy like the rocks in the riverbed
That my savior made

We burned the cotton fields down in the valley
And ended up with nothing but scars
The scars became the lessons that we gave to our children after the war
But there ain't nothing but the truth up on the Magnolia Mountain
Where nobody ever dies
Steady your soul and ease your worry
They got a room for you

Lie to me like I lie to you
Calm me down until the morning comes
And if the morning don't come
Lie to me
Will you take me to your bed
Will you lay me down
All heavy like the rocks in the riverbed
That my savior made
For us

My New T-Shirts

So Lovely

Bye Pussy

Teddy Bear Loves Teddy Boy


Music Thinger

I've been tagged into another survey by Jas. It's not real in depth - I was hoping for more but I'll do it anyway. And I'll add my own questions at the bottom.

1. Total volume of music files on my computer?

Jeez - on my work computer - 6 gb's. At home 54 gb's. I'll download anything and give it a chance. I have shit from the Koyaanisqatsi Phillip Glass trilogy to Sam and Dave.

2. Last CD I purchased?

I never buy one CD - When I buy cd's I buy a few at a time - my last haul included
Sufjan Stevens
Ryan Adams
LCD Sound System
Andrew Bird
Sons and Daughters

I recommend all these - LCD Sound system will be on a speaker near you this summer and that Doves song (Black and White Town) is hot. Actually, I don't recommend m83.

3. Song playing right now?
Pocahontas - Neil Young (Year of the Horse) .... wait that has changed to... I Can't Wait - The White Stripes (White Blood Cells) ... and again it has ended on ... Stones - Sonic Youth (Sonic Nurse)

4. 5 Songs that mean a lot to me, in no order?

  • A Change is Gonna Come - Otis Redding ~~ This is what I put on late night if I'm feeling all sad. The Otis version is more haunting because died shortly after recording it and the tragedy of someone else's death mixed with this song and my own pain is just the most perfect drink to have before going to bed alone.

  • Slide Away - Oasis ~~ This was the song of my youthful love. The acoustic version by Noel - available online some places (Chicago 97') is by far one of the most moving acoustic songs I know (first of course is My Girl by Nirvana)

  • Volcano - Damien Rice ~~ There hasn't been an album that I have felt defined me and another person more than this one. I don't even own this album any more because I can't bring myself to listen to the songs without the idea of driving to her and dancing barefoot in the street.

  • The Union Forever - The White Stripes ~~ I love this song right before I'm ready to go out for the evening. I have the vinyl of this album and I love the grit of the record play right before I turn the volume all the way up. It makes me feel like more of a rebel and though that is sad, the line 'What I would like to be? - Everything YOU HATE!' Makes me feel great every time I hear it.

  • Magnolia Mountain - Ryan Adams ~~ Figured I would throw in my favorite current song. I listen to this song about 20 times a day. I can't get enough of it.

    5. Cd's currently in my cd player (added)

    Rolling Stones - Let it Bleed
    Black Keys - Rubber Factory
    Rolling Stones - Exile on Main St.
    Enon - Hocus Pocus
    LCD Sound system - S/T

    6. What song would you want to break up to someone with?
    David Grey's Say Hello Wave Goodbye - Oliver turned me onto that one - but seriously if you play that for a girl in your car or in your house and then have the balls to just say , "Now get the fuck out" or look at her the whole time - then you my man are much like myself. LOL...

    7. What song makes you stop and hold your chest every time you hear it?
    Aretha Franklin - I Ain't Never Loved a Man - - - yeah that seems a little gay but I absolutely love it. It's one of those early, good, no money havin, still thick but not fat, Aretha songs.

    8. Stones or Beatles?
    Stones - no question about it. The anti-beatles - the anti - everything for 7 years. The fuckin devil as far as I'm concerned.

    9. Favorite new bands of last year?
    Wow - tough one asked by me - - - lol - it's rare that new bands come around - so my favorite new bands of 2004 would have to be...Jeez - that's a tricky question because the band could have been around for a while - So I guess I'll just do bands that I found out about last year - Favorite new local band "Two if by Sea" - Favorite new artists - Mates of State, Iron and Wine, Rilo Kiley, Say Hi to Your Mom, Deerhoof -

    10. Your ultimate 3 band line up and the venue?
    Ultimate 3 band line up - whoa that would be intense - but here goes
    Opener at about 6 pm in early June (cooling weather) at the 9:30 club-

    Badly Drawn Boy - 8 song set with stories
    Travis - 12 song set - with stories
    Oasis - 2 six song sets and 1 three song acoustic set and then a 1 song encore of "Don't Look Back in Anger" with the lights up.

    Yeah that would leave me convulsing on the floor...I was going to put the Stripes in there but I wanted an eclectic mix that would meld - - if I could do two shows the second would be - - at The Talking Head (lol) people would be dead from the masses -

    Opener -
    Doves - 7 songs set
    The Strokes - 10 song set
    White Stripes - 19 song set - 1 encore of a double length version of both Hotel Yorba and Bo Weevil!!!

    I tag:
    Enron - because she'll list all Dave songs and I'll laugh
    Mandy dearest - because she won't do it...
    Doug - Because he won't do it either
    Oliver - Because he won't do it either
    Tim - Because this doesn't fit in with Tim's current montage and he won't do it

    But I would like to know what they were listening to anyway - music is a great common ground between friends.

  • Thursday, May 26, 2005

    Out of Office Reply

    I have been in NYC for the past couple days - Nothing to report other than that this city grows more annoying every time I come here. I did get to pull up with Blake and leave a loud drunken message on Craig's phone from the notorious "Irish Pub".

    What else - this is memorial day weekend - I have no plans. The Geraghty clan is apparently in town and the keg party is more than likely going to commence on Saturday. Look out neighbors - June Bug, PDG, and the Conductor in one dwelling - with licious, could be dangerous. I leave today at 1ish - umm... that's it. I did however update my Amamzon wish list if anyone wants to buy me father's day gift. God knows if there are any little Brets running around the world.

    Bye Bye

    Monday, May 23, 2005

    My New Hobby

    Now that I have been thrust into the engineer side of the pool - it means I don't have to deal with customers. EVER! Unless - they call me directly using the phone and the company directory. So now that I have a chip on my shoulder - this is my new hobby.

    I let them talk and when they say something ridiculous like "Well it wasn't my fault - so whoever broke it is like losing connectivity or the system is crashing." I merely let the hairs on the back of my neck calm down. I press the mute button and talk to them as they should be talked to. I suggest doing this if anyone ever wants to tell someone off.

    Just hit mute, and then say "Look fuck face. How bout I come over there and replace that Nerf Aero ball you have for a brain with a nice hot deuce from my ass?" Try it - you'll feel a ton better. I promise.

    Friday, May 20, 2005

    Moment with Mark at Turners

    "Bret, what's your favorite album of all time?"
    "Hands down! No bullshit! Let it Bleed by the lads from Liverpool!"
    He came over and hugged me. I hugged him back. We understood something about the world.

    Thursday, May 19, 2005

    MLB Game Caste

    I puchased the MLB gamecaste package today where you get to listen to baseball all day. Joe Angel, Fred Manfra and Jim Hunter are now on my ears for all day games. Plus - I have every major league game - this is awesome!

    Baseball on the radio is one the greatest things in the world.

    Today's Wagers and Recap of Yesterday

    BTW - I'll be starting a new blog for my wagers later on today - - - Yesterday we Finished up 300$. If the Astros would have pulled out at the end it would have been a thousand. But tis life - - -

    Today's lines - -

    Parlay (6 Teams) 05/19/05 11:07 ET
    50.00/3320.21 Result: Pending
    Brewers(Milwaukee) (Santos)
    Nationals(Washington) (Hernandez) 05/19/05 (13:05 ET)
    Nationals(Washington) -1.5 (+165)

    DevilRays(TampaBay) (Kazmir)
    Tigers(Detroit) (Bonderman) 05/19/05 (13:05 ET)
    Over 8.5 (-120)

    Diamondbacks(Arizona) (Halsey)
    Astros(Houston) (Clemens) 05/19/05 (20:05 ET)
    Astros(Houston) -1.5 (+125)

    Giants(SanFrancisco) (Tomko)
    Rockies(Colorado) (Francis) 05/19/05 (15:05 ET)
    Under 12.5 (-115)

    Orioles(Baltimore) (Lopez)
    Royals(KansasCity) (Hernandez) 05/19/05 (14:05 ET)
    Orioles(Baltimore) -1.5 (-120)

    Orioles(Baltimore) (Lopez)
    Royals(KansasCity) (Hernandez) 05/19/05 (14:05 ET)
    Over 10 (-125)

    ~~~This is a 6 team parlay. I usually play one a day. It's like a lottery ticket. It is the guilty pleasure of all gamblers to play parlays - you rarely win but if you do it usually means a really really good day.

    2) BET ID=113565116
    Straight Wager 05/19/05 11:00 ET
    320.58/270.15 Result: Pending
    Orioles(Baltimore) (Lopez)
    Royals(KansasCity) (Hernandez) 05/19/05 (14:05 ET)
    Over 10 (-120)

    ~~~ I bet the Orioles twice today because well - KC is like a fucking JV hockey team from Florida playing Canada. I mean - they are awful and aside from their "young talent" (average age 28.5) - they look as dead as a door nail after the 5th innings. I'm hoping the Orioles get up early and bury these fuckers. The only thing that concerns me is this will be "day off day" for most guys which means - Javy may be down, everyone else should still be playing but Javy in the 5 hole is worth a run a game.

    3) BET ID=113560673
    Straight Wager 05/19/05 08:54 ET
    100.00/140.50 Result: Pending
    DevilRays(TampaBay) (Kazmir)
    Tigers(Detroit) (Bonderman) 05/19/05 (13:05 ET)
    DevilRays(TampaBay) +145

    ~~~I know I know - - never bet the DRAYS! I like Kazmir - he hasn't shown it a lot this year but a day game after a night where the hitters are tired and a young pitcher on the hill who wants to start playing like he is supposed to. I didn't bet it hard - I basically bet it to see if I can start betting Kazmir in dog games when they play the Blow Jays, Tigers, Royals, A's, Mariners - - - shit like that.

    4) BET ID=113560658
    Straight Wager 05/19/05 08:53 ET
    200.00/110.43 Result: Pending
    Orioles(Baltimore) (Lopez)
    Royals(KansasCity) (Hernandez) 05/19/05 (14:05 ET)
    Orioles(Baltimore) -175

    ~~~See above - the difference between these two bets is here I took the Orioles even up (they can win by any amount) - above I am giving up 1.5 runs. They have to win by 1.5 runs but the payout is better.

    5) BET ID=113560655
    Straight Wager 05/19/05 08:53 ET
    100.00/110.50 Result: Pending
    BlueJays(Toronto) (Chacin)
    Twins(Minnesota) (Mays) 05/19/05 (13:10 ET)
    BlueJays(Toronto) +115

    ~~~This Chacin kid is no joke. If they were playing this game in Toronto this line be -140 for the Jays. I don't think the Jays really give a shit about home field advantage given their stadium looks like Camden Yards on a Monday day game while the birds are trailing 14-3 to the Tigers. Chacin is for real - he has nasty nasty shit.

    6) BET ID=113560640
    Straight Wager 05/19/05 08:53 ET
    300.00/170.14 Result: Pending
    Diamondbacks(Arizona) (Halsey)
    Astros(Houston) (Clemens) 05/19/05 (20:05 ET)
    Astros(Houston) -175

    ~~~ Clemens - what else can I say. The 'stros are starting to hit. Despite their loss last night they showed some life when coming back from 7 runs down in the 7th. I like the moxy of this team and I think it's time they got behind Clemens and made a run. I'll be betting the 'stros against the overrated teams in the NL. Especially when Backe, Clemens, and Oswalt pitch! Bank on that one.

    Wednesday, May 18, 2005

    Tonight's Plays

    1) BET ID=113486348
    Straight Wager 05/18/05 09:00 ET
    400.00/280.57 Result: Pending
    Diamondbacks(Arizona) (Ortiz)
    Astros(Houston) (Pettitte) 05/18/05 (20:05 ET)
    Astros(Houston) -140

    I love Andy Pettite now that he is with the 'stros. He always gives you 6 solid innings and with Ensberg, Biggio, Tavares and even Lane getting hot - I like this team at home against an overrated Diamondbacks team. I should have taken this for 6 units instead of 4. This is my pick of the day.

    2) BET ID=113486342
    Straight Wager 05/18/05 09:00 ET
    200.00/160.00 Result: Pending
    Braves(Atlanta) (Ramirez)
    Padres(SanDiego) (Eaton) 05/18/05 (15:35 ET)
    Padres(SanDiego) -125

    The Braves seem like another bloated squad when away from home. Chipper back at 3rd is like me catching. Haracio Ramirez is topping at out 86 and the Pad's have been on a roll lately. Dr. Dave is starting to hit and Klesko and Nevin are understanding their role. The Braves are dangerous so I only went with 2 units.

    3) BET ID=113486234
    Straight Wager 05/18/05 08:54 ET
    300.00/170.14 Result: Pending
    Orioles(Baltimore) (Chen)
    Royals(KansasCity) (Carrasco) 05/18/05 (20:05 ET)
    Orioles(Baltimore) -175

    When the Orioles get hot, the O's stay hot. This year anyway that seems to be the case. I look for them to pound the Royals the rest of the way. The Royals would have a hard time being a good Minor League team. The new guys in the line-up, though some say are going to hurt us, will keep us hot for a couple weeks. Look for a big game out of Raffy staying hot and the new guys. This isn't the greatest bet because of the -175 but it's better than anything else I saw on the board.

    BTW I stay away from betting the following teams - Mets (just because they are the hapless fuckin Mets), Phils (could wake up at any time), Marlins (unless it's the Dtrain or Beckett), Drays (dangerous young team that will get better if they dont quit, I bet against them when CJ catches - he's worth 2 runs for the other team), Nationals (who knows what this awful team will do), Dodgers (3rd in the league in runs?? - - yeah Until JD Drew remembers he's not at Fla St. anymore.)

    If you saw last night's wagers you know I didn't do so hot. I finished down $350. Fucking Minnesota! But I'm back tonight and I'm still above water.

    Tuesday, May 17, 2005

    Tonight's Action

    1) BET ID=113404703
    Straight Wager 05/17/05 09:18 ET
    130.15/150.78 Result: Pending
    RedSox(Boston) (Clement)
    Athletics(Oakland) (Zito) 05/17/05 (22:05 ET)
    Athletics(Oakland) +120

    2) BET ID=113404025
    Straight Wager 05/17/05 08:46 ET
    400.00/220.86 Result: Pending
    Orioles(Baltimore) (Ponson)
    Royals(KansasCity) (Lima) 05/17/05 (20:05 ET)
    Orioles(Baltimore) -175

    3) BET ID=113403995
    Straight Wager 05/17/05 08:45 ET
    100.00/140.50 Result: Pending
    Yankees(NewYork) (Pavano)
    Mariners(Seattle) (Mateo) 05/17/05 (22:05 ET)
    Mariners(Seattle) +145

    4) BET ID=113403987
    Parlay (3 Teams) 05/17/05 08:44 ET
    50.00/580.33 Result: Pending
    Braves(Atlanta) (Smoltz)
    Padres(SanDiego) (May) 05/17/05 (22:05 ET)
    Padres(SanDiego) +135

    RedSox(Boston) (Clement)
    Athletics(Oakland) (Zito) 05/17/05 (22:05 ET)
    Athletics(Oakland) +120

    Yankees(NewYork) (Pavano)
    Mariners(Seattle) (Mateo) 05/17/05 (22:05 ET)
    Mariners(Seattle) +145

    5) BET ID=113403827
    Straight Wager 05/17/05 08:37 ET
    500.00/200.83 Result: Pending
    BlueJays(Toronto) (Towers)
    Twins(Minnesota) (Santana) 05/17/05 (20:10 ET)
    Twins(Minnesota) -240

    6) BET ID=113403787
    Parlay (6 Teams) 05/17/05 08:36 ET
    50.00/790.66 Result: Pending
    BlueJays(Toronto) (Towers)
    Twins(Minnesota) (Santana) 05/17/05 (20:10 ET)
    Twins(Minnesota) -240

    Cubs(Chicago) (Prior)
    Pirates(Pittsburgh) (Fogg) 05/17/05 (19:05 ET)
    Cubs(Chicago) -150

    DevilRays(TampaBay) (Fossum)
    Tigers(Detroit) (Johnson) 05/17/05 (19:05 ET)
    Tigers(Detroit) -165

    Diamondbacks(Arizona) (Vazquez)
    Astros(Houston) (Oswalt) 05/17/05 (20:05 ET)
    Astros(Houston) -130

    Orioles(Baltimore) (Ponson)
    Royals(KansasCity) (Lima) 05/17/05 (20:05 ET)
    Orioles(Baltimore) -175

    Rangers(Texas) (Astacio)
    WhiteSox(Chicago) (Garland) 05/17/05 (20:05 ET)
    WhiteSox(Chicago) -165

    7) BET ID=113403699
    Straight Wager 05/17/05 08:32 ET
    300.00/230.08 Result: Pending
    Diamondbacks(Arizona) (Vazquez)
    Astros(Houston) (Oswalt) 05/17/05 (20:05 ET)
    Astros(Houston) -130

    8) BET ID=113350530
    Straight Wager 05/16/05 08:41 ET
    100.00/90.09 Result: Pending
    Spurs(SanAntonio) 05/17/05 (21:40 ET)
    Sonics(Seattle) +10.5

    9) BET ID=113350527
    Straight Wager 05/16/05 08:40 ET
    100.00/90.09 Result: Pending
    Pistons(Detroit) 05/17/05 (19:10 ET)
    Pacers(Indiana) +8.5

    Because I Love You - I Give You More Ryan Adams

    Yes yes yes - I give you the Cold Roses tour mp3's - enjoy yourself and tell your friends. The world needs more sad bastard songs.

    Ryan Adams: 2005-05-03, Toronto
    Ryan Adams: 2005-05-11, Louisville

    You are welcome!

    Monday, May 16, 2005

    Music Update for that Ass

    Upcoming Events that I would like to check out and you might want to check out as well:
    *Only including non-soldout shows.

  • 9:30 Club - The Dresden Dolls FRI. MAY. 20 $15.00 - You may know the Dresden Dolls from their song Coin Operated Boy. It's a husband wife trio -
  • 9:30 Club - Rilo Kiley SAT. MAY. 28 $15.00 - This will be a great show. The band really rocks harder than most think and they can bring it back down when they need to.
  • 9:30 Club - Spoon FRI. JUN. 3 $15.00 - If you don't know about Spoon then you really should.
  • 9:30 Club - LCD Soundsystem & M.I.A. SUN. JUN. 12 $20.00 - This may be the hottest show of the summer.
  • 9:30 Club - Ted Leo/Pharmacists THU. JUN. 23 $12.00 - I have yet to see THE LEO live in concert. But any man who is bald and where's sweat bands and plays that much kick ass music gets my ticket money. For those who don't own "Shake the Sheets" go and get it.
  • The Black Cat - PINBACK, AQUEDUCT, DUDLEY CORPORATION SUN MAY 22 $14 - I highly recommend Pinback if you are a Radiohead fan or a Deerhoof fan.
  • The Black Cat - THE RAVEONETTES, AUTOLUX, THE PEELS SAT MAY 28 $12 - People are saying the new album is hot. I haven't heard it. Their first album was great though. You can also see them the next night at the Ottobar.
  • The Electric Factory - Ryan Adams and The Cardinals FRI MAY 20 - Apparently they are saying this isn't sold out. If I had a partner I would go in a fucking heartbeat.
  • The Funk Box - Andrew Bird WED. MAY 25 - Andrew Bird is pretty good and it's rare that we get such a treat 3 blocks from my house. So I'll be there.
  • The Talking Head - Rogue Wave SUN June 19 - This is a pretty big show for the Talking Head - I would love to see this band play that venue.

    Not much from the Ottobar - Sonar seems to be picking up with shows by The Futureheads, Built to Spill, and Disco Biscuits but I think the one show that I have seen that I would want to go to more than any other is the Ryan Adams show at the Meyerhoff - - - that's a good gig.

    Bye - - Bret

    Remember You In the Name of Me

    I used to breath my wishes and actions through the filter of your body. Both you and my family. You mattered more. I would whisper them to you softer than one would talk to a tree.

    I laid my dreams on your eyes like a mother leaves a child on a doorstep. She cries, kisses two of her fingers and touches the forgotten souls forehead as she dashes off. So too was I this way. So too was I wanting to leave my dreams in your care. I wanted you to decide what was best.

    Now I carry my destiny with me. I guard it as a mother wolf guards her cubs. I travel on the roads looking for any place that I can settle down and give my love milk and honey.

    I breath nothing through any instrument now. I play my own voice in the pitch of day. I drop coins to the peasants that once carried my combination. I trust you do the same. I trust the keeper of once sacred things has matriculated to pastures of fragmented wisdom. There is a nursery here where we try and make our dreams viable enough to be enrolled. It is more beautiful than anything you have ever seen. Join us.


    I want to write about going to the HFStival and all I saw but I can't right now. My head hurts a little bit from the ale and the knockings. So - - - know that I went - it was solid - - The weekend was OK but I had a revelation on Saturday night. A moment with myself. A moment that I need to build on.

    Thursday, May 12, 2005

    Jack White Goes Porn

    "Rock is cock baby"

    I'm not going to sit here and lie to you that grown men who listen to pop mainstream punk, funk, junk music aren't a little gay. I'm not saying I want to make out with dudes - but I am saying that I will hug another man and jump on his shoulders when someone has the brains and balls to put on let it bleed - turn it to 11 - and lock the fucking cabinet - I would be lying if I said I didn't jump and down like a girl when Oasis came on stage and that during the show I did not comment on the fact that Noel looks "so fucking awesome". With all this said - - - I am starting the coalition to relieve Jack White of facial hair.

    He looks like he should be selling 10 inch dildos on the side of an off ramp in San Francisco.

    Dave Chapelle is in a Mental Hospital?

    I went and checked my hits today on my website and they are up by over 500% and it's 10 a.m. Somebody want to tell me why everyone in the world is searching for "Dave Chapelle in a mental hospital"? - I guess I'll go find out myself.

    UPDATE: Thanks to Technorati - which has superseded Google when it comes to my illegitimate news sources - - apparently Dave went nuts.

      He hasn't been seen on set for weeks. His hit show has been shut down. His friends are speculating on various reasons for his purported meltdown.

      Now comes word that Dave Chappelle is undergoing treatment in a psychiatric facility in South Africa.

      Quoting an unnamed source "close to the situation," Entertainment Weekly said Wednesday that the comedian flew to South Africa late last month and voluntarily checked himself into the undisclosed facility. There is no word on the nature of his ailment or how long he will be hospitalized.
    Personally this sounds like a hoax to me. I never really pictured Dave in the same boat as Sam or Robin or Richard or anyone with major cocain or heroin issues. Because it's the nuts that leads to the drugs and the drugs that leads to the white padded room. But you never know - he's a smart mother fucker - smart mother fuckers sometimes break down.
      Another acquaintance alluded to the Half-Baked star's partying. "I wouldn't say it's out of control," the purported pal dished to Newsweek, "but at some point that has to affect you if you've got a regular gig." Chappelle's camp has categorically denied he was abusing drugs.
    Dude let the man party. He's earned it. And you know what - - - if he did go now - - - he would be such a legend - - - and not end up like Eddie doing Dr. Doolittle movies for a couple million.

    "My father was a gambling man down in New Orleans"

    Finally a good day - - - I only lost one bet - the fuckin A's - welcome to the summer baby - oh and BTW who bets on the MAVS even up??? - -I do bitches - I do-

    Straight Wager 05/11/05 19:51 ET
    100.00/250.00 (paid 350.00) Result: Wager Won
    Mavericks(Dallas) 108
    Suns(Phoenix) 106 05/11/05 (22:55 ET)
    Mavericks(Dallas) +250

    BET ID=112935283
    Straight Wager 05/11/05 08:57 ET
    600.00/300.00 (paid 900.00) Result: Wager Won
    WhiteSox(Chicago) (Hernandez) 5
    DevilRays(TampaBay) (Brazelton) 2 05/11/05 (14:15 ET)
    WhiteSox(Chicago) -150

    BET ID=112935261
    Straight Wager 05/11/05 08:57 ET
    200.00/300.00 Result: Wager Lost
    Athletics(Oakland) (Zito) 5
    RedSox(Boston) (Clement) 6 05/11/05 (13:05 ET)
    Athletics(Oakland) +150

    BET ID=112935247
    Straight Wager 05/11/05 08:56 ET
    200.00/110.76 (paid 310.76) Result: Wager Won
    Astros(Houston) (Oswalt) 1
    Marlins(Florida) (Willis) 2 05/11/05 (19:10 ET)
    Marlins(Florida) -170

    BET ID=112935221
    Straight Wager 05/11/05 08:55 ET
    200.00/180.18 (paid 380.18) Result: Wager Won
    Pacers(Indiana) 92
    Pistons(Detroit) 83 05/11/05 (20:10 ET)
    Pacers(Indiana) +8.5

    If you have questions on how to read this - I'd be happy to teach a course for only $79.99

    Wednesday, May 11, 2005

    MSN Loves to Love Ya!

    Tell me this guy doesn't look like he's sniffin draaaaws at first glance -

    Tuesday, May 10, 2005

    Santa is Here to Give You the New Oasis Album 'Don't Believe the Truth' - Streamed

    Scenestars has made the stream of the entire album available to you. Go to click on "Rachel's" radio option at the top and listen until your eyes curl back into your head. I'm so excited! I'll have a review for you later.


    Track by Track Review -
    1 TURN UP THE SUN - Stranglers anyone? Jam anyone? Abbey Road anyone? I mean - this song lacks a little for being an opening track. Has a nice 30 second lead in though which is why it's the opener. The voice over on Liam is hot and I don't think they can fit any more guitars in there. I would love to hear this song stripped down.
    Lyrics to Love - "Come on turn up the sun. Turn it up for everyone. Love one another."

    2 MUCKY FINGERS - Say hello to the Beatles ladies and gentlemen. - - Lyrically - oddly enough - the song with the worst title - is my favorite song lyrically. This song sounds a good bit like a Bruce Springsteen song that never really gets going into a guitar solo at the right time. I love this song though. The harp is solid!
    Lyrics to Love - "You get your mucky fingers burned. You get the truth off the lies you have learned. Walk on!'

    3 LYLA - This is the single. They didn't want it to be the single but to be honest, I'm glad it is. It's not as aggressive as the other tracks. It's very 98' and it's what the record companies still want them to sound like. Wait until the next album when they are under their own label. I'm excited for that. BACK TO 10 minute songs!!!
    Lyrics to Love - "I've waited for a thousand years for you to come and blow me out my mind."

    4 LOVE LIKE A BOMB - This is a Liam tune. You can tell because it's short and it's lyrically well - - lyrically simply. He doesn't take a whole lot of chances outside of his own voices. It's ok.
    Lyrics to Love - "La la la la la la"

    5 THE IMPORTANCE OF BEING IDLE - This is one of my favorite tracks on the album. Noel singing with an acoustic guitar that turns into some weird tamborine hard rhyhtm section stuff. This reminds me of 'The Masterplan' mixed with 'Up in the Sky'. Actually this song sounds a good bit like "Flashbax".
    Lyrics to Love - "I don't mind as long as there is a bed beneath the stars that shine. I'll be fine. If you give me a minute my bands gonna live it - I can't get it out if my hearts not in it!!! YEAHHH!"

    6 THE MEANING OF SOUL - Meaning of soul sounds kinda forced and you can tell it's a Gem tune. It's not too bad. It could of have hit harder at the change but it's clean. This song would be awful live but they are gonna play it live. The harmonica is hot.
    Lyrics to Love - "All right because I see the light in your eyes"

    7 GUESS GOD THINKS I'M ABEL - This is really good as well. It's missing some heaviness but it's what Oasis is. It's simple lyrics about lovers and rock n' roll and whatever. Just damn catchiness is really what it is. He does however rhyme Rainbow with Abel - - hmm - - I think this is a song for Liam written by noel but who knows.
    Lyrics to Love - "No one can break us, no one can take us"

    8 PART OF THE QUEUE - This is a totally new sound for them. This is all Noel and you can tell he wanted this one for himself. It's a great song. It sounds like the Stranglers met the Kinks. The influences come out so thick in their songs. It actually uses the same vocal rhythm as "Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald"
    Lyrics to Love - "I'm having some trouble just finding some soul in this town."

    9 KEEP THE DREAM ALIVE - One of those songs that you and your friends will like. If you are an Oasis fan - this is the song on the album that you and the other Oasis fans you know will want to hear the most. Trust me. This is driving music.
    Lyrics to Love - "I'm at the crossroads waiting for a sign. My life is standing still but I'm still alive"...ugh

    10 A BELL WILL RING - Guess who wrote this song? Andy Bell of course. It's like you can hear who writes what song without even thinking about it. I like this a lot but it's a little tight. It should have been looser but it'll be a good live song. It has that great Oasis first change - -
    Lyrics to Love - "The sun will shine on you again. A bell will ring inside your head and all will be brand new. "

    11 LET THERE BE LOVE - This is an old song that I can't believe other people don't remember. This was a b-side from Standing on the Shoulder of Giants. It has been remade with different lyrics but it has the same chorus and chords. It's a personal fave because it's acoustic and it's Liam. Liam's voice sounds great on this track. Plus it has both Noel and Liam singing - no other song has them going back and forth like this. Cheers!
    Lyrics to Love - "Who kicked a hole in the sky so the heavens could cry over me? Let there be love. "

    Throughout this entire album I kept thinking that these should have all been b-sides from back in 95. They all sound like that and if you are an Oasis fan you know that's good. This is the only band in history that put their best songs on b-sides - - on purpose too. I guess I'm just a fuckin Noel fan. I mean - I like that other guys are contributing and all but every Noel song is awesome!

    Lie to Me and Sing Me a Song

    Lie to me like I lie to you. The morning it won't come if you lie to me. Will you take me to your bed and make me feel whole. Lie to me. Saviors die like you and me. Saviors beg just the same. Lie to me and make me feel. You wouldn't say fire without a lie. I'd rather lay with a lie than lay with nothing at all. Steady my soul and ease my worry. Hold me when I rattle and I calm me when I hum; rocking back and forth holding my knees. Sing and lie to me.

    It's almost gone and it's almost over. I can feel the sweet illusion coming down with the idea of you hovering over me. Grabbing vapor. Coming back with tail spins of aquarium water. Coming back with filth from the coffee cup in the gutter. The Styrofoam was laughing at me with streaks of mud running down the side. Sweet confusion kicks along with my feet and I step to the illusion of your smile. The lies that come from my brain remind me that you are real some how. I can feel the confusion and it seems better than the truth.

    I christened my way to your name. When I hear your name out on the ocean there are ways to be and I am that way. There are ways your eyes should look and mine look that way.

    "Turn around baby."
    "I thought that was you." She said with that rye smile. The confidence of everything is ok. Bulletproof face makes everything else seem so tired. Everything seemed so tired compared to the corner of that mouth.
    "How could you think that was me?" I said kicking the floor like a kid. I was trying to mirror that smile with my own.
    "If you think I could forget anything about you, you are wrong. Well then again, you were always wrong weren't you."
    I didn't say a thing. I nodded my head like a man going to tell a boy's mother he had just killed her baby. I nodded with the shame that comes from knowing that nothing can be changed. I nodded the way a man nods when a woman smacks him. You stand there stunned at what you had done. You accept the slap with more love than you would accept the tears that will cry on someone else's shoulders. I nodded in front of her.
    "Well, say something." She said with the confidence of a lion.
    "There's nothing to say." I said it straight faced like a smart ass would say it to a teacher. I said it with insolence. Then something dropped inside my stomach. I felt our last moments slipping away. And I managed to get out my epitaph;
    "I lost."

    There's always sunshine. Sunshine comes with the morning. Comes with the breath. There is always a day to bring back two choices, memories or futures. A beautiful soul is mine. A wonderful life to be mine. A lie to me from you. That deep base hits my head like a sad song. That bass line that comes with a downbeat and a woman's voice accompanying all great sad songs. Lie to me and sing me a song. Lie to me about the morning. If the morning comes will you lie to me again and make me heavy like the rocks in the riverbed.

    I want to be the blue birds singing to the roses in the yard. I want to be the first thing the lie sees in the morning. The gray lie sees the concert of nature and beauty and runs back into my body. It runs back into my eyes and looks out over the weeds in the sidewalk cracks. Let my savior mend. Weeper down in the valley ended up with nothing scars. The scars were the stories I could tell to make people believe I loved. Lie to me and let me lie to you. It'll make it easier to call the devil when he comes to pick us up.

    No Updates

    Not right now

    Friday, May 06, 2005

    Death Peddle

    Ok I have to say this - and this isn't in direct correlation to anything - but I have to openly admit my hatred for middle-aged men and young women who cycle.

    First off - anyone who openly competes in athletics in a sport which takes 0 athletic ability bother me. This includes morons that lift weights, run, swim, anything that takes time over skill. Second off - watching old men and young women participate together in a a sport (fuck that a - - - umm - - - hobby) makes me puke. And that's what cycling is people. Don't let the Michelob Ultra adds fool you - - it's 40 year old professional men buying 1000$ Cannondales for gold digging 25 year olds.

    I was walking to work today and noticed a bike rally. Sorry, I should say a fucking cycling rally, a cycling club, a fucking cycling get together. Whatever the fuck it's called. It looked like a Smith Barney commercial. AHHH!

    It was a sea of bald, dumpy, men in spandex padded pants with sunglasses on. They had their little clip-in shoes and their fuckin grandpa beards or slicked back hair underneath their protective pointless aerodynamically shaped helmet.

    Captain Awesome!

    It was a sea of young women with their over developed brains wanting to ride behind sugar daddy while he climbed the arduous "hill"/"Mountain"/ fucking street that is Charles street. "Go Bob! You are really feeling the burn!" They'll say as he hits the intimidation that is North Avenue. They have their little padded ass pants on with the US postal service uniform and fucking live strong bands and breast cancer ribbons and support our troops earring and give money to Bill Swaggert pins on their tits. AHHH!

    Look at meeee! I'm cycling daddy - I mean boyfriend.

    If I was riding up a fucking street I have no need for this kind of gear. It's overcast today and these people have on sunglasses. Oh how I loathe them. I LOATHE THEM more than anything. It's the stench of them that gets to me. It's their flamboyant and flippant aristocracy that gets thrown in my face by saying "Hey it's 8:30! I have a US Postal jersey on, just like lance, and I don't have to be at work. I closed down my dental practice for the day and decided to ride my little bike and wear a t-shirt that says 'One less car'"

    Oh how I loathe you. How I want to put a hockey stick in the spokes of your tire and watch your old decrepit ass fly over the handle bars only to be greeted by the boot of my heel coming down to realign your jaw and that scruffy old man beard.

    Loathe you - I loooooaaathe all of you.

    I've got a new hand single that you peddlers of pestilent life can give each other. You take your whole hand and move it in a thrusting motion when you are going down a hill. You do this to emulate the fisting job you are performing on your soul's vagina.


    You smell of awfulness. You reek of everything that I hate about getting old and losing my innocence.

    I battle your shambled sacks of death on a daily basis. Other people want you. They want to be you. They want to ride their little bikes and throw a finger to the world. They want to be 55 and fuck 25 year olds. I on the other hand want to buy a semi-automatic weapon and go to those parks where you fucks mountain bike on the weekends and I want to shoot up your entire parking lot of SUV's with your green peace stickers and support our troop magnets. You are fucking hypocrites. You sick fucking people. You are the reason behind my snarl. You are the pointless. I hope they bury you with that stupid fucking bike. Sorry, that stupid fucking cycle.

    So remember when you pick up that Mr. Thirsty on Monday, or that scalpel, or that law book, or maybe even sit down to type at a computer, that there are people out here in the world who hate you. And I'm not bitter about my life. I love me. I hate you. You are my opposite but with a sickly glow. They have a sick pedophile glow. You are the liberals that fight your battles with flaccid penises. You are death to me. If you want to know why I detest them so much, it's because I associate them with death. I associate them with wretched disgusting death. The same characteristic they would no doubt give to me.

    Thursday, May 05, 2005

    Sons and Duaghters - Love the Cup

    This band was so hot that they took down their website and disbanded after 3 months. How fucking awesome is that? But this cd is worth it. This cd is intense as hell. It's Scottish people singing the Strokes if the Strokes had covered a Janis Joplin album.

    What a great EP by this band from the land of Franz Ferdinand. Although they sound nothing like them, Sons and Daughters gained some notoreity as their opening act on parts of FF's recent tour. I must warn you that contrary to others' remarks, Sons and Daughters sound nothing like the White Stripes. They are actually doing a very faithful tribute to The Faith Healers UK and maybe there is a little early Verbena, as they are somewhat countrified. Great EP, worth the gamble, the kind of cd that you play again as soon as it's over.

    Sometimes less is more. Sons and Daughters, a quartet of experienced Scots (including two former members of Arab Strap) are expected to put out a full-length CD in 2005, but the band will have a tough time topping this seven-song, 25-minute debut disc. Putting a country twist on the garage-rock minimalism of the White Stripes, Sons and Daughters gives you a sense of what might have happened if Johnny Cash and June Carter Cash had recorded an album after spending a few months listening to nothing but PJ Harvey CDs.

    lol - - - Yeah - it sounds like that - and holy shit is it great.

    I figured I might as well start my list off with something that I knew would get me rocking. This is the kind of music that should be watched live with plastic cups full of Cutty Sark and half the people-lacking shirt. The Ceiling is so low the singer can put her hands on it and you are so close you could grab her fishnets.

    I can't recommend this album enough. And for you my special people in Baltimore - they do remarkable have it at Sound Garden. I was shocked - and a little dismayed - but it was there - you can also hear the song "Johnny Cash" on Channel 26 Left-of-center Satellite radio from time to time. Enjoy -

    Cig Rating - 5 out of 5 Cigs!!! Everyone needs to have an album like this to come home to on Friday and swing around a bottle of whiskey to.

    Bring on the Summer

    Yesterday I made my second big media haul of the year from the lovely woderful folks at Sound Garden here is what I procured - as you can imagine I'm doing all the leg work on the 1st half releases of the bands most of us have been following - if you would like to add to the list let me know and I'll review whatever you give me - And I know how much you all love my music reviews -

    I swear i can sit here and scream til I'm blue in the face about something that I love and give you a link to get it for free - and then I see you and I'm like, "Hey, so how bout that new song?" "Huh? Oh - I didn't listen to it." Well- - - I won't stop EVER!

    Here is what I got - -
    Black Keys - Thickfreakness *
    Black Keys - the big come up *
    Ryan Adams - Heartbreaker **
    Funkadelic - Singles and b-sides **
    LCD Soundsytem (vinyl)
    M.I.A. (vinyl)
    M83 - Before the Dawn Heals Us
    Andrew Bird & The Mysterious Production of Eggs
    Sufjan Stevens
    Eels - Blinking Lights and Other Revelations
    The Glass
    Rilo Kiley
    Sons and Duaghters - Love the Cup
    Bloc Party (vinyl)
    Ryan Adam - Cold Roses
    Doves - Some Cities
    * Had to get the earlier stuff
    ** People keep stealing and ruining this album.

    Anyway - that's what I got - - - I'll be writing reviews of them one by one - - I'm sure you can't wait - - - -

    OOOHHHH and I got my special membership at Sound Garden - it only tookme $10,000 worth of shit!

    Wednesday, May 04, 2005

    The Creepiest Fucking Song Ever

    Ok I've been looking for this song for a while - I found it today and I'm so very happy and creeped out at the same time - for those who haven't seen the cult classic hit 'Donnie Darko'- get on that mission - this is the title track - just look at this image and listen and you will realize why it's that creepy. Ugh creepy - but so very good - especially the "happy birthday" line. Enjoy!!!!

    Mad World by Gary Jules

    All around me are familiar faces
    Worn out places
    Worn out faces
    Bright and early for the daily races
    Going no where
    Going no where
    Their tears are filling up their glasses
    No expression
    No expression
    Hide my head I wanna drown my sorrow
    No tomorrow
    No tomorrow
    And I find it kind of funny
    I find it kind of sad
    The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had
    I find it hard to tell you
    I find it hard to take
    When people run in circles its a very very
    Mad world
    Mad world
    Children waiting for the day they feel good
    Happy birthday
    Happy birthday
    And I feel the way that every child should
    Sit and listen
    Sit and listen
    Went to school and I was very nervous
    No one knew me
    No one knew me
    Hello teacher tell me what's my lesson
    Look right through me
    Look right through me
    And I find it kind of funny
    I find it kind of sad
    The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had
    I find it hard to tell you
    I find it hard to take
    When people run in circles its a very very
    Mad world

    Ladder Man

    Movement comes in from the water like smoke. Life wades out into the lake like fog and is forgotten.

    "Have you ever watched water ripple near the edge of a lake?" she said this to me as if we had been talking for hours. In actuality we hadn't spoken in months. I had not heard one word out of her mouth or read one letter from her pen. It was as if she had never existed and as if I had wronged or erred.
    "Excuse me?" I looked straight ahead into my periodical without turning to the seat next to me.
    "Water, when it ripples close to the shore, looks like smoke. It looks like smoke if you can't see the rest of the lake. Take your hand and put it over your right eye and look at the ripples without seeing the rest of the lake. It will look like early morning for lifting off the surface."
    "There's no lake here. Where do you see a lake?"
    "I never saw a lake. I never had to."
    At that moment I lifted my head and turned next to me. Obviously, there was no one there. I was speaking out loud. On a napkin on the pull out tray that are so neatly kept in the back of train seats, there was writing.


    I crumpled up the napkin and threw it on the ground. I assumed it was about as real as my conversation.

    I held the ladder as you tried to paint the corners of the room. You had your hair in a ponytail and the woman glow about you. Women will love you if you buy them a home. All women want is a place secure enough to produce life. The man they love is inconsequential next to the atmosphere he can provide for her.

    Make her laugh. Making a woman laugh is as easy as playing pinball. The rules are simple. Find a common ground. Show some flattery and possibly some dominance as you strike with your first words. A woman finds you lovelier if you are frail to only her.

    You kept dropping paint on the blanket used to cover the floor. You were stretching so I could see your ribs extend in order to brush the hardest places to reach in the room. You dabbed and covered and wiped the sweat off of your brow. The smiles you had were masked in a diligent workmanlike face. You loved. You had your life. I merely held the ladder.

    Monday, May 02, 2005

    Ryan Adams New Album

    You can stream the album Ryan Adams has coming out from Scenestars feed. It is well worth - The Cardinals back him up and looks like a more definitive move back to Whiskeytown type stuff. Which is good for us fans who hate New York, New York with a passion.

    Funk Box Finally Has a Show I Want to See

    The Funk Box - or as I like to call it - "that raggedy piece of shit where the hippy bands play" - and could be a much cooler edgier fucking place where awesome bands play - actually has a show I want to attend on the 25th of May.

    Antena - (who i have actually heard of from their fucking amazing 1981 album Camino Del Sol) is opening a show for the guy whose CD I am listening to right now -- -

    Andrew Bird - I will be in attendance for this show - all you college fuckers should be home by them - come break your summer in with a nice indie acoustic set - I vouche for this.

    My New Job Makes Monday Slow
    Jas has this on her site and "tagged" me - I'll attempt to amuse myself. I'm supposed to pick one and describe what my life would be like if I were this profession - - Wait I just read it again and apparently I have to pick 5. Ok - here we go - -

    The List
    If I could be a scientist...
    If I could be a farmer...
    If I could be a musician...
    If I could be a doctor...
    If I could be a painter...
    If I could be a gardener...
    If I could be a missionary...
    If I could be a chef...
    If I could be an architect...
    If I could be a linguist...
    If I could be a psychologist...
    If I could be a librarian...
    If I could be an athlete...
    If I could be a lawyer...
    If I could be an innkeeper...
    If I could be a professor...
    If I could be a writer...
    If I could be a llama-rider...(by Ogre)
    If I could be a bonnie pirate...(By Teach)
    If I could be a servicemember...(By Jeremy)
    If I could be a business owner...(By Blue944)
    If I could be an actor... (By Blue944)
    If I could be an agent...(By KelBel)
    If I could be video game designer...(By KelBel)
    If I could be photographer...(by Jasika)
    If I could be a soldier...(by The Scharf)

    If I could be a scientist...
    When I was little I always wanted to, and I quote myself up until I was 10, "Get a doubel major in Physics and Math and be a scientist." That ridiculous dream lasted all the way up until I was entered into "Gifted and Talented" and found myself on the slow slide back to the middle. But, if I was a scientist I would be an animal scientist of some sort. Not a veteranarian but more like a bioligical research on poor monkies, kind of scientist. I would like to test diseases and cures on animals. I have an ambiguous and numb respect for life and wouldn't mind killing, maiming, or really anything to another living creature (sorry Mandy - but it's true). That's not why I would do it (the enjoyment of hurting) but that's why I would be good at it. Anyway - I wouldn't to be a scientist but it beats the other ambitions I guess.

    If I could be a linguist...
    I would only want to be a linguist because that's what Noam Chomsky started out as and that field spawned him to being a world class mind and world class person as well. It was the background he gained from delving into other cultures to identify their language and life patterns that sparked his love for the world and his need to unsheathe the misnomers and lies that we are feed everyday. Plus, I enjoy being able to communicate with people of other cultures. I find that learning another culture opens a new world for you. It is very special to be accepted by a secular identity when you were not born or brought into it.

    If I could be an athlete...
    Ahh the life of an athlete. How remarkable and capable you become within a society once you learn how to master a leather ball with your feet or hands. How astonishing your life becomes given an ability that has been cultivated and chiseled out of raw talent for so many years. To live the life of an athlete is every male's dream at one time. Rock stars are wonderful but athletes are legendary. They have stories that echo on through the ages. Athletes have stories that are carried on the backs of the people that worship them. They are a flame that burns twice as bright and one that usually burns half as long. Modern day gladiators given the opportunity to thrust themselves into the mainstream and have a voice simply for their physical prowess. If I were an athlete I would use the opportunity to make political statements, I would use the forum or soapbox to become an artist or voice. When I fantasize about being an athlete I don't fantasize about the homerun or touchdown - I fantasize about the post game interview and the crazy things I would want to say.

    If I could be a writer...
    I want to be a writer. It is hard work and without a mentor or proper training to move you on and push you forward, the art is difficult. Your piers and mentors and teachers are all dead and collecting dust on a shelf. If I were a writer I would want to write things that made people dream or woke them up from their slumber. I don't need to write life altering books, but nor would I want to be Grisholm or Cussler and be in it for the fantasy or the money. I would want to write so that everyday both men and women would fall in love with my words. Everyday they would want to pick up a pen and express themselves. They would go eat breakfast and smash their coffee cup on the floor out of rage because they felt alive and inspired but what they had read. I want to make people react by allowing them to think and free their own minds. First, I have to learn to free my own.

    MINE:: If I could be a soldier...
    I would only want to be a soldier because I think it is a very important part of being human. I think war is part of our psyche. The protection of our women, land, way of life is something that inspires men to kill. The thought of killing seems romantic and necessary in my life. The horror stories of men coming back psychologically destroyed and physically mangled do not deter me. The hard austere of war veterans is something that I find compelling and inspiring. The hard grip of a man who has killed or the eyes that can see through my doughy body and into the back of my head are something that I would like to have.

    Ok that's it -
    I don't tag anyone because well that's just unkeweeeel - but if you want to do it be my guest -

    Viewed Apathy and Ulterior Motives Leads to 3 Murders - News at 11

    That blood started to rise to my face. That bad blood that I beg to get massaged out of my body was working it's way through me like venom. It's that vile cruor that brings with it an acid feeling to my eyes. My hair starts to burn at the root and my stomach feels as though it's falling from the top of a building. I can't control my knees as they bob my leg up and down. My ankles hitting the floor repeatedly as the terror in front of me continues. I put my fingers and hands compulsively near my mouth and start to chew on my fingernails. I couldn't take this rotten hot claret steaming through my body. Then comes the cracking of the neck and back and I knew I couldn't take this carnage anymore.

    The carnage? What is this carnage?

    "I got you a beer. Oh no wait, this totally stupid woman was like, waiting for this other totally stupid woman in line. And they were like, where's our hot dog? And we were like, OH MY GOD, hurry the fuck up."
    "Oh no way?"
    "Seriously." The 28-year-old girl spit this retort back. Something was amiss with her. There was too much make-up on for a Sunday afternoon out in the sun. Her belt looked as out of a place on her cheap designer jeans as her chipped painted fingernails looked wrapped around a soon to be flat and warm American symbol of apathy, the light beer. But, you could tell she was taken care of. She had those darting private school eyes. And the men both this girl, and her attempting twin, were with were tall, disease free, hygienically intact, and adorning current fashions, which placed them in jobs of ease attained by an upper education degree.

    "So anyway, I heard Mary bought a house in White Marsh. I heard it was nice too like 400 grand. All tiled out and they said they are going to get really pretty furniture from Ikea."
    "That's cool" burps back the man in the conversation. I see something swiftly glaze over his own body as if some sort of coating found on Krispy Kreme Doughnuts and on the corner of a Bum's mouth had been poured over him. It was the malaise of the nothing that had become him. He didn't strive to either attain goals for this girl or care about what she was saying. The least he could have done was to throw his beer in her face and tell her to close her mouth. Women get confused if you let them ramble on.

    Her eyes move to her friends eyes and they rolled them together. Time after time they rolled and looked out over the people in front of them and at the men to their right. They are sitting at a baseball game and they are concerned. They are concerned about their lives as women. Women with initiatives and intentions unknown to men are what make up our world. Women hurl subtle hints, mute jabs of the tongue, and nudges of pain to subconsciously place trail marks in a man's head of what it is they want out of life. They are drawing a map by pursuing their own intentions. Those eyes were darting. They had no interest in the game. They were only there to gather information. Unbeknownst to her own mind she did all this. It is instinct for women. It is instinct to covet, claim, and then destroy what it is they have come to know. This is how she was raised. This is how she will survive. This is her death.

    Favorites List
    Pandora Song List
    Amazon Wish List
    Revolutionary Wealth - Tofflers
    Brian Jones

    Things Making Me Smile
    The City
    Listening - [out of 5]
    Benjy Ferree - 4.8
    The Thermals 3.1
    David Gray 3.8

    Like the guy with the beard? YES - like the guy with the beers. What? Yep

    Bands That I Check Schedules For
    Badly Drawn Boy
    Belle and Sebastian
    Benjy Ferree
    The Black Keys
    Drive By Truckers
    The Eels
    Kimya Dawson
    Mark Hopkins Band
    Iron and Wine
    Mates of State
    Ted Leo
    Two if By Sea

    Places I Rock in the Flesh
    9:30 Club
    Black Cat
    Electric Factory
    The Knitting Factory
    The Otto Bar
    Recher Theatre

    Places I Eat/Drink in the Flesh
    Bishop's Collar
    Cross Street Market
    Hull Street
    Joun Gak
    Mick O'Shea's
    No Way Jose
    The Irish Pub
    The Waterfront Hotel

    My Greatest Hits (that's so lame)

    The time I almost killed a child
    July 4th in Korea
    Excerpts from Demian
    Why I screen phone calls
    Bret's Death Metal Report
    A conversation at a cocktail party
    A conversation at breakfast
    So you think you are a Baltimorian
    A conversation about a girl singer
    Observations from a bar
    Observations of strippers
    Tech Language
    Why I love Oasis
    I would go to war
    "You Son of a Bitch" An Open Letter to Tom Friend
    Dance to Your Ocean
    Dream Ranch
    When men become pussies
    Jason Whitlock is a racist propaganda promoter
    Pitchfork takes music snobbery to new level
    The Cosmic Clash of the Red Sox and Cubs
    The Hatred that is Runts Candy
    Starting corporate line-up
    Google Bio
    Do you know me? List 1 / List 2 / List 3
    The Night I Burned Philly Down
    So You Want to be a Booze Hound
    She Said it was Free
    Funniest Corporate Story Ever
    Striped Shirts and the Fucks that Wear Them
    Death Peddle
    Pieces of Morning
    Oasis Album Revew
    The Art of Tipping
    Starting Fires With Grass Stains
    Bret's Federal Hill Food Review
    Sexcapades and your Picture on the Internet
    Stupid Secrets
    Stupid Secrets the Return

    Contact Me

    Stuff I Swing By From Time to Time

    - MUSIC
    Indie Video Archive
    Large Hearted Boy
    Important Records
    Oasis News
    Pitch Fork Media
    Reptilian Records
    Scenestars MP3 Blogs
    Sound Garden Baltimore

    - BUY
    Shotgun Apparel
    Warrior Clothing

    - HUMOR
    Angry Little Girls
    Atom Films
    Eye Envision
    Homestar Runner
    Kill Frog
    Junior Varsity Meat Market

    Baltimore City Paper
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    Calvert Hall
    Degroen's Brewers
    ESL Cafe
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    Villa Julie College Baseball
    W3 Schools

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