- Bret Holmes Baltimore Md

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I Kan't Spell

Saturday, May 29, 2004


As the summer approaches and my friends all flock back to their suburban habits of beach visits and BBQ's, I recommend to all of you, who still have the chance, to cherish your families. It is rather lonely without anyone around sometimes.

I used to always say that my friends were my family. That's the kind of statement that's made by a stupid kid. I doubt I will know anyone I know now in 20 years. Your family is important. My friends are great people, but we have no union other than agreeable kindness. If I stabbed my Mother's dog in the throat, she will still love me, if I stabbed one of my friends dogs in the throat chances are we would never be cool again.

Here's to the summer...I'm at work right now...I'm going to get drunk all by myself tonight. It's been a while since I've done that.

Friday, May 28, 2004



Thursday, May 27, 2004

A Conversation

Me: So let me get this straight. Why do you come here in the morning?

Other: To get tea.

Me: I'm not buying that. You come here because it's part of your morning pattern. This is what you have succumbed to [name]. This is now your life. Given your druthers you would never come to this place with these bloated fuckbags sitting around drinking coffee trying to look smart while reading the New York Times. You do this because you have stopped caring. Like dominoes of boredom, your life is slowly starting to become colored in between the lines.


Other: You're a dick. You are here too.

Me: I'm here because of you. I have yet to develop a morning pattern beyond my own survival. It's when you start adding in the frivolous extremities and surrounding yourself with samples of similarity over and over again that your brain stops working.

Other: What? Dude, do the people you work with think you're on drugs.

Me: Maybe...

Other: Do you talk like this to everyone?

Me: Yep

Other: Why?

Me: Why not? Is it out of your familiarity zone?

Other: I guess. *to the waitress* I'll have a English Toffee

Me: *to the waitress* I'll have a Heineken

Other: You'll have a what? It's 8:15 a.m.

Me: I'm gonna drink a beer

Other: Why?

Me: To show you it's possible.

Other: You're fucked up.


Other: I fuckin love you.

Meg White

Have you ever seen someone so totally set aside from themselves that they seem surreal? I don't mean as though they are aloof or spacey, I mean, they are in the moment of themselves where nothing else is a variable. They have defined themselves for the duration of your observation. And as long as you hold it, that's as long as they'll keep on spiraling inwards towards that definition of "the moment".

That's the kind of feeling I get when I see Meg White drum. I get this euphoric feeling as though for once in the world I am seeing what someone was absolutely meant to do.

I know it's all entertainment and that she's probably nervous as shit and it's mostly an act. But, I don't care, because it is entertainment. I leave it at that value...her drumming won't transcend me to another place or state of mind. It's not going to make me breakfast or help me get a job or marry a beautiful woman. It's a moment of homage.

Because if I have learned anything over the last 5 or 6 years is that my life's church is art. Maybe not art in a classical, aesthetic, or even "good" sense, but I appreciate the beauty of living and living naturally and well, without inhibitions. That's what I see when I watch good art. I see truth through actions and creativity.

Unfortunately in this fucked up place, it seems to be those in the cage which seem to be the most natural. And since the stage, the canvas, and the projector are my churches then watching her drum is like taking communion. It allows me to be free for a little moment. It allows me to live vicariously through the image that the energy I am feeling is mutual with everyone around me.

Watching Meg drum is one of the most therapeutic things I can think of in my life, next to Asian porn.

It's hard to define her style. And to be quiet honest I feel fucking retarded writing about someone I have never met in an intimate way. I feel like a housewife from Oklahoma who cries because Boston Rob didn't win survivor.

But, you know what? The world is filled with all kinds of shitty things that you have to play with everyday. If someone can find solace or joy in anything, and that joy is not destructive, or constructive for that matter, than so be it. Good for them..

Here are some pictures of the new queen of rock for you...


The idea of anti-terrorism laws make me want to move to another country.

"Those who sacrifice liberty in the name of safety will have neither."

Don't people really get tired of being scared. I sure as shit don't feel any safer knowing that I'm being watched and hunted for everything I do. What a ridiculous fucking thing to do to America. The values that this country claims to instill are being trampled and muddled every day.

The anti-terrorism bill and the patriot act are some of the most horrific things to ever happen to this country. It paves the way for Gov't control via fear and information. They allow for more than physical threats to become tangible, they now allow for mere ideas to be considered as terrorism. I mean WHAT THE HOLY FUCKING FUCK FUCK FUCK DOES THAT MEAN????!!!

I hate the way we live sometimes. I hate the whole soccer mom mentality of this country. We used to be strong once. We used to be idealistic and the envy of the world. Now we set the tone for their downfalls by breeding our own evil injustices against ourselves.

Anywway...another rant for another day...check this dude out though...he got thrown in jail for mere FUCKING words...unbelievable...

Wednesday, May 26, 2004

Ookla the Mook

Old 1L...whoops...2L (congrats are in order for the future lawyer in the family) and I found this a few years ago. I'm sure some of you have seen it but if you haven't it will blow your doors off. It's sort of a game where you have to stump the computer by choosing a sitcom character, and choose something obscure or it will smoke you, and having the program guess it. Trust'll be shocked...I showed it to this dude Matt who works next to me and he can't stop playing it.

Ryan Adams

I haven't really figured out yet whether or not I still enjoy Ryan Adams. After a while you need something more, and I have to admit that Demolition and Llor and Kcor didn't really do it for me as albums. They had some solid tracks on there but nothing I would fall over myself for.

In concert he sounds like an overmedicated asshole who would rather be at the dog track or at a strip bar than playing.

I have some earlier live shows from before Gold, and he sounds amazing. He sounds cheerful or melancholy, intimate, and vibrant. When I hear him play live now I simply shutter at the pain, but then I find myself rolling eyes at the disposition, described above, he seems to portray. He feels lost when I hear him now. He feels as though he should be famous but he still isn't.

In answer to my first question of whether or not "I still enjoy Ryan Adams". Well, I just put on My Sweet Carolina, Sylvia Plath, Winding Wheel, and To Be Young. (all off the same album, his masterpiece, "Heartbreaker")...and the answer to that question is "Yes!". I still enjoy Ryan Adams.

Get Your Wzzar On

Here's your morning GYWO -

This is one of my favorite GYWO's if not my fave. Hey, religion, if followed fanatically is fucking ridiculous. People who aren't smart enough to live by their own rules and would like to partake in religion are fine with me. People who want to take it to a fanatical level beyond that should be castrated and not allowed to breed. Seriously...

Imagine if you will, someone even dumber than the dumbest person you know, writing a book almost 2 or 3 thousand years ago about the world and it's rules. Imagine that person. Now see yourself involving yourself in rituals that have been (and you can read Tim's stuff for more I guess) transmutated throughout every other religion and folklore. Now seriously imagine living in a heaven(Nirvana, Xanadu, whatever the fuck) based on your ability to adhere to archaic moronic rules based mostly around land ownership and persisting the stronghold of the division of power.

I have way more to say about religion...but this cartoon sums up a good bit of it.

Tuesday, May 25, 2004

Kimya Dawson

I remember the first time I saw Kimya, she was wearing a big bunny suit at the 9:30 club as her band The Moldy Peaches opened up for The Strokes. I stood there for about 10 minutes with my jaw on the ground. I had never heard nor ever seen them before. I was expecting anything other than what I got. What I received out of her performance was strange special.

She might have been that hurt girl in highschool who was kind, yet angry, but not cool, she was the one that wrote shitty poetry on the back of her binder with a picture of a knife in the middle of the stanzas. Then again knowing, that I know a lot of people who fit that description and that none of them ever did anything as cool as Kimya does, I probably will nix that thought. She was probably really fucking smart and saw it was all bullshit and decided to live a life of awesomeness doing what she likes.

She was this person singing in front of me. It was unbelievably pure. It was the most innocent sound I heard in a long time. It was the right combination of nervous, humerous, and artistic. It was as if someone was telling a knock knock joke while twiddling their thumbs and awkwardly swaying back and forth. But the joke is so good that you almost want to buy the teller a beer. And the joke teller knows it's that good because they look up with a tilted head and one viewable eye with a smirk.

She has a couple of mp3's here that I seriously recommend checking out. And if you want you should check out the Moldy Peaches, if for nothing more than a crooked smile and occasional shock, although they offer more than that.

I hate to do this but, her old counterpart Adam Green, is pretty brutal. I think he's playing state fairs out of spite to his own craft. His tunes, although different, are pretty fucking boring.

Get Your MFin War On

Here's your morning GYWO -

It's amazing how we haven't really thought about how many generations are going to pay in order to have antiquated fuel methods dominate our world. Woohoo...Old White Men strike again! Go go go gadget evil! I mean I wish somebody would just tell us how fucked we were. Or at least let us in to the master plan. You know like a huddle.
    "Ok guys here's what we're gonna do. Army, you go kill all the little brown people and cause unrest in the place where there's oil. Ok then Navy you chill out about 1000 miles and launch planes and shoot missiles on the brown people. Ok then Marines and special forces....blah blah....ok on three on three break."

    "What about us coach (comes the collective cry of 200 million Americans)?"

    "What about you?"

    "Well we might want to have a say in some of this. I mean...don't you guys ever listen to the American people and their general displeasure of things that involve killing other people at the expense of our own futures."

    "Hey you be quiet over there! We have given you 100 channels of entertainment, drugs, and gambling in ever state. Now go be distracted with your shiney baubles...we have real things to do. Now you guys stand over there and hope we don't run out of people to kill and control, because when we get bored we turn our technology on our own..."

I just want to know the master plan. I want it revealed. I promise you I can take it. I might even get behind it and join the Bush youth league. You never know might be missing out on some pretty kick ass candidates...

Monday, May 24, 2004


Su Yeon sent me this this morning. more ways than one...hmmm

Get Your War On Ya'lls

Here's the link to more Get Your War On...He also does a whole bunch of other stuff as seemed pretty good...

I liked this one because it's just fucking graphic. I don't know what this related to in the news at the time, but I'm sure it had to do with evil us, doing eveil things, somewhere where non-white people live (as I read again it's ok). We're good at that.

Saturday, May 22, 2004

Last Night

A quick recap for you:
  • Home at 5
  • To local FOP for drinks with Jenkfest and his dad.
  • To The Barn...which by the way for all you locals...does not...and I repeat, does fucking NOT sell crabs anymore. What the fuck else is that place good for?
  • To Comotto's house for a warming party.
  • Eat Cicadas
  • To Turners
    • Go to Jukebox
    • Put 40 dollars in
    • Profess to never allow anyone else's music while im in a bar
    • Each song that comes on the jukebox is met by an offer, from me, to name the artist in exchange for a free drink
    • Trained Liz in the art of being a smoketastified and standing on bar stools.
    • Continued to buy drink after drink after drink after drink after drink after drink...not for msyelf...because I only had 3 Jameson's the whole night...but for any stranger with a smile...and if They didn't have a smile I was convinced a free drink would give them one.
    • Told Yanna we should breed
    • Yanna agreed
    • Started giving away cash in exchange for anyone able to name song titles
    • Paid tab..cried a little

  • Went to sub shop and paid 40 dollars for a meatball sub.
  • Went home
  • After much confusion and awkwardness...went to bed

That was my night...I'll be here this evening...doing push ups, drinking Vitamin water, and reading the Bible.

Thanks for coming out.

Friday, May 21, 2004

21 Days of Get Your War On 21 Business Days of Get Your War On

Since the world seems to be a happier place to live in now and no one seems to really flinch over countless deaths in a country where little brown people live, I thought I'd just throw 21 days of "Get Your War On" down your fucking throats.

This one is the classic that you can even (and I say "even", yes, to mean the lowest possible denominator of literate people) hear dudes with backwards baseball hats mutter between their conversation involving terms such as "That bitch doesn't even go down." or "The (plug in sports franchise here) are gonna be fucking awesome in 2 years." or "Hey, Yo, Can I get 4 more Miller Lites, wait those are on special right?", saying.

Anyway, it's a good one....

Thursday, May 20, 2004

Late For the Sky

My 400th post!

It seems fitting that I'm sitting here listening to the best thing I have bought in the last year or so, my record player, and listening to Late For the Sky by Jackson Browne!

It seems fitting that it brings about so many great memories of the girl I loved and lost.

It seems fitting that it was this album that made me want to write and express myself.

It seems fitting that this was the first album I ever bought because it's what my parents listened to. Buy this album...I promise it won't disappoint.

A Brief Conversation Interlude

Dipshit Bret says:
So now what superstar?
coworker says:
What have you done?
Dipshit Bret says:
nothing since we last typed
Dipshit Bret says:
dont have a dick
Dipshit Bret says:
Dipshit Bret says:
holy shit
coworker says:
Dipshit Bret says:
disk dude disk
coworker says:
Thats the funniest thing I have seen all week
Dipshit Bret says:
yeah man

New Music

Reviewed by me courtesy of Pitchfork Media:

Sleep Station - Caroline - This is really solid and melodic. It follows all the rules of Pop. 2:46 long...and it introduces new instruments as the song progresses. Sort of missing any kind of chorus but it flows. It sounds a little raw but I like where it's going and I'll probably DL more.

Lil' Cap'n Travis - Steady As She Goes - I've been hearing this bands name thrown around lately. They are cute. It sounds like stripped down Grandaddy and Yo La Tengo go together and decided to play the ukaleli. The lyrics are playful but nothing that's making me doing anything but want to press fast forward.

Human Television - Automobile - Hmm it started like Franz Ferdinand and finished up like they were playing in a barn in Ohio somewhere. There's not as much energy as the beat portrays but that's what makes songs cool sometimes. This is alright...I'll look more of this up later.

The Caribbean - William of Courage - This is pretty brutal. It's deciding to play too many little tricks with the tracks. That makes me kinda mad. And the song isn't all that good...Oh they did just curse...nope that didn't save it...

Say Hi To Your Mom - Let's talk About Spaceships - Oh this is pretty sweet. He used the word cadence. Yeah this is nice...this is fucking solid. Good chance..brought in some electronic...oh man this is's sort of like Enon. His voice is a little raspy but it's soft when it needs to be.

Say Hi To Your Mom - Blizzard - That last one was so good I had to see if they were for real. Man this is like Iron and Wine and Wilco go together. This is really good...mellow but good...I'll be investing.

The Envy Corp - Prisoners of War - How are these guys not famous? This is amazing. It's like American Radiohead. They have a little reverb and some interesting changes with the bass and drum. But this is smooth and really good. Nice big upswinging outro too. It's definitely worth a download.

Fiery Alliance - Self Pity - Oh no...nooooooo....uh uh....stop. Please stop. This is really sounds like a ten year old singing the Violent Femmes. oohh...

Blessed Light - Suzanna Sunshine - Hmm - this sounds like the guy from Marah and I never really liked Marah. This is some serious sad bastard music. It sounds like it should be good but it sounds more like it should be theme music for a bad 80's soap opera.

Tangiers - I Don't Love You - Oh yeah...nice one to end on. It's empty and hard at the same time. It sounds like they are playing in a tunnel. Hmm it's slipping but this is pretty good. It needs a pick up in there or a loop. The lyrics are simple, the chorus is pretty good but it needs something, or it needs to last longer. Because after it's over they just go back to a pretty average song. The ending is great! This still sounds promising though.

Only in Baltimore

I just got this email from Baltimore Magazine about the 101 things to do in Baltimore that will put you on your way to being a Baltimorean. It got me thinking about how much I love this city. I used to really not enjoy being here, as I had never lived anywhere else. But upon returning I came to the realization that my home is my home. And you always love it because it's familiar and comforting to feel knowledgeable about a place. This is my abbreviated list (in no particular order) of things to do in the greater Baltimore area.

  1. Have you ever played soccer at Patterson Park with a whole bunch of guys who look like they should be in the Hells Angels and speak no English?
  2. Have you ever bailed your friend out of the drunk tank at the Maximum security prison?
  3. Have you ever chilled with a bum in Fells Point?
  4. Have you ever eaten on Corned Beef Row?
  5. Have you ever eaten at the Sip n' Bite at 5 am?
  6. Have you ever eaten inside of a big ship on Boston St.?
  7. Have you ever shuddered at the site of tourists at the Inner Harbor?
  8. Do you never eat at the Cheesecake factory or McCormick and Schmicks because you know they are rip-offs?
  9. Do you, in your mid 20's, shy away from, if not detest Fells Point, Federal Hill, and Canton?
  10. Do you have hopes of showing your children the lighting of the Monument on Dec 1st, and then feeling comfortable enough to take them to Mid-town Yacht Club to let them de-shell peanuts and throw them on the floor?
  11. Do you pride yourself on knowing where 1722 and Plush are, and when it used to be cool to go there?
  12. Have you ever been to the Ottobar to see a band just because of the name?
  13. Have you put old bay in your beer?
  14. Do you know the difference between an "exacta" and an "exacta box"?
  15. Do you not eat crabs in other states in fear that your relatives may disown you?
  16. Do you cringe when a nationally televised sporting event hosted in Baltimore has announcers that only talk about Crabcakes and the Innerharbor?
  17. Do you remember when the Orioles were good and the fans were rowdy?
  18. Do you own a ravens jersey?
  19. Have you eaten at Sabatino's at 2 am?
  20. Do you know to never to eat at Sabatino's before 2 am?
  21. Do you know how to order Pit Beef on Pulaski highway?
  22. Have you ever been approached by a hooker on Pulaski Highway?
  23. Do you know where the dividing line between pasties and all nude is?
  24. Have you ever made a joke about Dundalk?
  25. Have you ever had a drink with anyone from the Kirk, Mark or Lopez show?
  26. Have you purposely turned around when you hit North Ave. coming from the Harbor?
  27. Do you know who Stan Stoval and Mary Beth Marsden are?
  28. Have you seen O'Malley's March live at Mic O'shea's?
  29. Have you ever been west of Martin Luther King Blvd.?
  30. Do you know what's on the corner of Light and Cross St.?
  31. Have you eaten at Zorba's or any Greek joint on Eastern Ave.?
  32. Have you gotten money out of the ATM at the Hippo?
  33. Do you know 5 colleges in the Metro area?
  34. Have you ever chanted "Show Your Tits" at Preakness?
  35. Do you think Nati boh tastes just like any other beer?
  36. Do you know Johnny Unitas' number?
  37. Have you been to the state fair and played either the "roll the ball in the hole" game or the "4 pool balls in 4 shots game?"
  38. Have you been to a Boys Latin lacrosse game?
  39. Do you know what Turkey Bowl is?
  40. Can you name 3 players of yore from the Baltimore Blast?
  41. Have you been to Rox Stats park?
  42. Did you play any sport in the Baltimore Metro League?
  43. Have you seen the Degas exhibit (seems like 20 years running) at the Walthers Art Gallery?
  44. Do you know what restaurant serves rosemary fries in a cellar?
  45. Have you ever played Chess on Gay St.?
  46. Have you ever walked down the "block" and been handed a flyer? *Bonus points for excepting the offer.
  47. Have you ever been on top of a box inside a club at Powerplant Live?
  48. Do you remember what the original Powerplant live, used to be?
  49. Do you own a brick from Memorial Stadium? *Bonus points for a chair...
  50. Can you name 10 private high schools in the Baltimore area?
  51. Can you name 10 public schools in Baltimore city?
  52. Have you ridden the Metro to Camden Yards?
  53. Do you know where Squires is?
  54. Do you have a "HON" bumper sticker?
  55. Have the people from the Paper Moon Diner tried to get you to join a cult?
  56. Have you watched a John Waters movie outside in Little Italy?
  57. Have you played kickball in the BCSC?
  58. Have you ever ordered a resurrection in any other bar besides Brewer's Art?
  59. Have you bought a CD from Soundgarden?
  60. Have you sold a CD or DVD back to Soundgarden?
  61. Have you played baseball at Herring Run Park?
  62. Have you played golf at Druid hill park?
  63. Do you find yourself vacationing in Ocean City?
  64. Have you drank booze outside of a Jiffy Lube in Rosedale? *Rosedale yeah!
  65. Have you bought beer from a bodega in North Baltimore when you were underage?
  66. Have you seen a film in the Science Center at the Imax?
  67. Have you played with the sea lions outside of the Aquarium?
  68. Have you ever gone rowing in the bay?
  69. Have you gone hiking along the Loch Raven Reservoir?
  70. Have you been in one of those paddle boats they have at the harbor?
  71. Do you prefer a softshelled crab sandwich over roast beef?
  72. Have you seen a hip hop/rap concert at the Baltimore Arena?
  73. Do you think Lacrosse is a great sport?
  74. Can you indetify on a map where Hampden, Little Korea, Little Italy, Pig Town, and Little Mexico are?
  75. Do you know why the call it Pig Town?
  76. Do you know who owns H&S bakery?
  77. Can you name 3 tattoo parlors?
  78. Have you played trivia in each of the three drinking boroughs (canton, fells, fed hill)?
  79. Do you find the MICA kids snotty and annoying?
  80. Do you stop and look at the screen paintings on O'Donnell St.?
  81. Have you tailgated at Pickles or Sliders?
  82. Have you bought a car from Jerry's?
  83. Are you related to a McMullen or Xavier?
    ~~~~I stopped here before I realized I was only 17 away..I'm doing it!
  84. Do you know what the term digital harbor refers to?
  85. Do you hate the sports writers for the Baltimore Sun?
  86. Do you know what the Legg Mason Building used to be called?
  87. Do you know what it says on the big clock tower in downtown Baltimore?
  88. Have you taken the subway in Baltimore? All 15 blocks of it...
  89. Do you know where Duburns indoor arena is?
  90. Have you gone swimming in any of the following rivers? Back, Middle, Chinqoteague, Potomac. *Bonus points and diseases if you have swam in the first two.
  91. Do you pronounces "water" as "wooder" and "wash" as "warsh"?
  92. Have you been inside, despite your denomination, the "Mary Our Queen" Cathedral?
  93. Do you have a book overdue at the Enoch Pratt Library?
  94. Have you taken your dog into a local bar?
  95. Do you know who Detour Dave, Ron Smith, or Les Consulving are? *Bonus can you name where they work?
  96. Have you ever been on the USS Constellation?
  97. Have you ever been to Edgar Allen Poe's grave?
  98. Do you know the year Baltimore became an official city?
  99. Do you know who J. Thomas Scharf is? lol...
  100. Have you been ice skating behind the Harbor?
  101. And finally have you been to the top of our illustrious 32 floor, the only still standing one in the US, World Trade Center!

0-10 - Where the fuck are you from and why are you reading this?
11-30 - Go back to Virgina or one of the surrounding states
31-50 - You've lived here a while aye? But you're ass wasnt born here.
51-70 - Born and the County
71-90 - Born and rasied in the city or the outskirts and had a father who liked to gamble and drink!
91-101 - You should be in a Waters flick you freak!

There are more...just can't think of them alot of these just have to do with sports, booze, and food? lol...

Singing Science Records

For those of you wanting to be a DJ. Or for anyone who wants to absolutely blow up your MP3 collections. You must check out the soothing sounds of Science Fiction Folk Songs from the 50's.

I found them here via here via here.....

That second "via here" is another kick ass blog that's getting on the list. Oh to start my music education again feels

Additional Notes - Holy shit...and that's not a jumping up and down holy shit...that's a ..."I wish I was a DJ" holy shit. These are...fucking awesome...

Leo's Looking Old and Toby Can't Hold it Together

I love the television show West Wing. Well It's the only show on TV I watch other than Pimp my Ride and I only get to see that if I'm laying in bed and just so happens to come on. But I've been watching, thanks to Bravo and it's 4 times a day everyday, West Wing episodes, for about 6 months now, and am happy to say that I have seen every single episode. It's easily the smartest show on TV. I don't understand half the reference to 18th century literature or to Presidential idioms concerning Howard Taft. But somewhere deep down I know I want to. Anyway...I should say "I loved" the show I guess. Because as of late it's gotten, well, rather run down.

  • Toby doesn't seem as sly witted.
  • Charlie is no longer the youthful admiration of anybody who feels that they have underestimated talents just waiting to be discovered.
  • That Will Bailey guy, who I thought was going to be awesome when Sam left, has just disappeared.
  • CJ looks absolutely brutal.
  • Josh, who was on the way to becoming one of the greatest philanderers ever, has now fallen in love with his assistant and lost his school boy wit.
  • Bartlett is always himself, Martin Sheen is a great actor who brings the only stability there is to the ship. Both him and Toby are the only characters who have stayed relatively the same throughout the shows lifespan. Although, it's rather depressing watching Bartlett these days, since he now struggles with his presidential legacy and his human frailties caught in the shadow of his genius and moral values.
  • Leo is now my favorite character, if for no other reason than he looks like he could die right there on the show.
  • What the fuck happened to Danny?
  • Where the hell is Sam, and why didn't he come back to the White House by this point...I know it was Rob Lowe's contract of whatever, but they should have written him out of the show better...I mean in TV world, what is Sam Seaborn doing right now...Law? Bar Tender? I WANT CLOSURE!
  • The season finale last night was the most anti-climatic season finale ever.
  • That guy they have as Vice President now looks like a backwoods hick.

I want a return to the good 'ole days. I want to feel the sting of a Toby quote in the back of my neck.

"Why do we have to take everybody out for an Ice Cream cone when we talk about the Middle East! THEY'LL LIKE US WHEN WE WIN!"

I want my West Wing back...

Wednesday, May 19, 2004

Oh to Enjoy Your Day

Ok...there are two wait make that 4 things making me pretty happy today...nope here we go
  1. I have just received my purchases for the summer. I got some rainbow flipflops, Otis Redding t-shirt, Flying Burrito Brothers t-shirt, Meg White t-shirt, and an Angry Litlte Asian Girls t-shirt.
  2. Form this dude I got 4 white stripes shows. Ahh man...I don't care if they get as big as God himself...I won't get tired of this...because they are so fucking horrible and weird sometimes that you just can't help but love it. They really do remind me of a rockin Dylan. They change up the sets all the time...and the songs. They also remind me fo real bands that have good nights and bad nights...they have great amazing evening and then other nights they suck they just aren't always the same like The Strokes or Oasis or can find them here..... Oh and I now read this guys blog everyday because he's allright and has a pretty good premise...
  3. Umm...this is kind of awkward because it shouldn't make me happy..but I talk to the only girl i've ever loved yesterday...well we talk about 3 or 4 times a week I guess, and she apparently isn't going through with her wedding...but then again you never know...the heart isn't always that easy to turn...I just hope she gets to smile....
  4. The season Finale of West Wing is on tonight!
  5. I get to go to New York for a whole week for business next week...YES!


Ran and lifted 3 days straight now.
Haven't smoked more than 2 cigs in any of those days.
Feel better, feel much better.
Weekend comes soon...
The true test begins...

Monday, May 17, 2004

Big Ups to Wazzle Wazz

My roommate the other day ran a marathon. Yep...he ran a fucking marathon. I know...he's stumpy, he's fat, and he eats anything greasy...but you know what...he ran a marathon. That's just insane. Anyway...that made me get up this morning and go running. I ran 3 miles. He ran 26. I think a lot changed in me today. Cheers to Watts!

Sunday, May 16, 2004


If you ever get a chance I recommend listening to the following bands. Now I'm not as cool as some of you when it comes to your music tastes...and to be quite honest I really want my tastes to turn down a different path. I'm pretty good at finding what's gonna be hot next. I'm not good at really finding totally non-mainstream music. So whatever you got..I'd like to know...anyway. I have a list here of stuff that you may have heard of and may not have heard of. The only criteria for this list is that I have never seen any of these bands on a talk show, or MTV. Everything thing else is out the window.

  • 3 piece band from, I have no idea...but they rock. They play pop and off color pop.
  • In This City, Starcastic, High Society

    Two if By Sea
  • 5 Piece band from Baltimore. Sounds like The Smiths and Interpol got together and had a baby
  • The Affair, 100 days

    The Rapture
  • I don't know much about them but they are backed by a little money.
  • Out of the Races and Onto the Tracks, Sister Savior

    The Jayhwaks
  • Southern alt-country. It's really peaceful and the consistancy of good tunes is awesome
  • Blue, Tailspin, Come to the River, One Man's Problem

    Soledad Brothers
  • Kick ass white stripes catch on.
  • Break em on Down, I-75 Boogie, Cadillac Hips

    Detroit Cobras
  • Another Detroit band fueled by Stripes success..ligit lead female vocalist
  • Bye Bye Baby, The Slum

    Ima Robot
  • Nasty little pop punk band that's a little edgy. Backed by money.
  • Dynomite, A is for action, Alive

    A Conversation

    Me: "So she was just standing there at the bar after her band got done playing. I was so in love with her while she was playing. It was unstoppable"

    Friend:"why didn't you run any game on her?"

    Me: "This is not a girl that you could "run game on". And stop talking like we're 19. She's in a fucking band! She's in a cool band at that! How and whom does she date? She has sex with random people that fulfill her fantasies. She doesn't randomly screw half-drunk short stumpy little dudes who fawn over her playing the bass in a dive club."

    Friend:"Whatever...last night you ran game at the bar."

    Me: "I "ran game" (while gesturing quote marks) on a waitress at a bar, not a girl in a band. A band that releases 33's at that."


    Me: "And I don't have any game. I have coincidental happenings with people. I either piss people off or make them uncomfortable to the point where I become memorable. And since I stay at one bar practically all night, it just so happens that we get to interact with each other, by simply being there. We aren't that far removed from wildlife. You put two people in a confined space for too long, odds are you'll eventually have sex."

    Friend: "But you did run game. It's the same thing you always do. You don't think you are trying but I know you are...because you always have that stupid smile when you do it."

    Me: "What? Piss a girl off, make her role her eyes, ignore her, then apologize like a sweety and throw around some obscure piece of knowledge that I have unconsciously assumed we have in common."

    Friend: "Yeah that's about right. Wait...what? Whatever should have talked to that girl."

    Me: "We aren't of the same breed you and me, her and me too for that matter."


    Me: "I know when to punch my own weight. If I had been sober. I mean totally sober and had something to say that was actually truthful and (while gesturing quote marks) "not game" I would have. And the only thing I could think of that would fit that mold would be, 'Hey you dropped your wallet' or 'Your hair is on fire'. When you respect someone from a far and then want to speak to them it becomes more difficult. I mean I could have, and now thinking about it, probably would have, if totally sober remind you, talked to her. If nothing more then to tell her that I thought she was awesome."


    Me: "Wait, no...that's creepy. Nope I wouldn't say anything. People are brought together by chance not by forced situations. It's taking advantage of that chance that makes things cool. Not trying to create chance. That's not cool."


    Me:"We're not the same breed you and me. You sport fuck. I can't do that anymore. I want to absolutely fall in love again. I want to be moved."

    Friend:"I thought that's what she did."

    Me:"With what? Her bass......"


    Friend:"You're fucking weird sometimes dude."

    Me:"Remind me to write this down later."


    Me:"Because I want to remember it."

    "Get Me the Everlasting Gumball"

    Willy Wonka is really a messed up flick. I happened to come across it today while waiting for tonight's game on ESPN. The most fucked up scene in the movie is not the boat ride, or the TV thing, or the fat kid in the tube, or anything like that. The most fucked up scene is when Charlie, confronted with both of his grandfather's at his home, only chooses to talk to one of them. I mean that's cruel. The other Grandpa is just chillin there and Charlies like,

    "Oh Grandpa Joe I really wish you could go with me. Fuck that other Grandpa I have, he's worthless and wears glasses."

    What a little dick.

    Friday, May 14, 2004

 the corners of my mind...

    I was just cruising through the old Photosynthetic Molecules page and was having a good time just checking out what we did when we was all youngins...

    Anyway an explanation to that shutdown is in order I guess. If noone saw it before, my hosting company made it impossible to have non-ftp posting. It made it impossible for any transfers other than formmail. They suck...I hope to get that thing back up sooner or later when I switch hosting companies or find a way around by continually bombarding them with emails explaining to them how inept and pointless they are as human being.

    Missing Korea

    Everyday I think about living in Korea. Seriously everyday I think about it. I don't know whether it was the women, the idea of being away, the feeling of being special, playing with little kids (no thats not it). I have no idea. But I almost envy these guys who go there for 2 or 3 years. I really think I should have gone for maybe 3 years. Because then I would have gotten sick of it or fell so in love with it that I would have just stayed.

    The only thing that puts my thoughts about Korea into persepctive are all the days I hated living there and wanted to come back home. I mean you don't have friends. You don't have your best friends anyway. That makes it tough, for me anyway, because my friends are pretty much my family. You don't have cheese, and you really can't be normal the grass is greener sometimes.

    Anyway..I've been reading this guys blog. He's pretty dead on with everything. I think experiencing something that noone else can experience is also really important. It's like being a major league baseball player. They all look at other major league baseball players and nod because they know exactly what the other has experienced. makes me sad knowing I'll probably never go back..but it rocks that I was there...I just don't know how to shake this feeling of wanting to talk about it and go back there all the time.

    Additon - This is fucking hilarious. And pretty dead on...except that I lived in Seoul in Nowon so it wasn't all that much roughing it as the dudes who lived in the country.


    What are you guys gonna do when you vote?

    I honestly have no idea. I don't want to vote Democratic because I don't like the idea of a lazy fat Gov't and I sure as shit don't really want to vote Republican...mostly because of the war...but more than that is that their just fucking creepy. I mean when Rumsfeld is the most charismatic front man you have coming out of your office, something is really wrong with that. That and guns, and abortions, and same sex marriage, I mean all that shit is just really fucked up. Except for the guns...I kina like being able to arm myself. It's wrong...but it seems right to an extent.

    I mean if I saw Dick Cheney in a bar or whatever and he said "hey I'm the Vice-President" I think I would honestly tell him to go "eat his own fist". It just really seems like the right thing to do. It feels honest and pure to tell someone like that to "Go Fuck Yourself". I might even spit on the floor and grind it in with my big toe as I order him a shots of tequila and toast to the "Virtues we were founded on and the shit that we now live in. Thanks alot." That seems and feels wrong to read I know. Believe me I love our country I really do. I don't think there's a better place in the world. But, I can't honestly say that I feel that that man belongs in an office. I can't honestly say I believe anything that those people say. And if you are a liar, and I don't believe you, chances matter who you are...I'm gonna drop an f-bomb on your forehead. That's all there is to with it...

    All I want out of our national dog and pony show of a presidential race is for a 3rd party candidate to be able to debate. I want some serious liberal ACLU tree hugging bastards up there. And I also want some bible thumping, gun carrying, brimstone and fire right wing semi-Nazi up there too. I want them asking questions. And then I want viable, and I do mean viable candidates to be able to debate. Candidates from parties with at least one representative in Congress is all you need to qualify. And those people each get a 5 minute speech and the each get to answer let's say 5 questions. I mean that's not real thorough but you get an idea for some sort of personal merit.

    And after that the panelist, maybe 20 people of varying positions and avenues in life, a Nobel prize winner, Union delegate, lawyer, doctor or any professional special person, should decide who gets to debate the following night.

    All I want to see is different opinions about the issues. I want to see what Ralph Nader has to say about the war and the environment. I want to see what Rev. Al has to say about, whatever the hell he's an expert in, and I want to see the Libertarians come in and question the fact that we pay 40-50% of our yearly income in taxes. (look it up seriously). I mean, the tv networks want it to be a serious debate. I think it would be a hell of alot more serious if the motherfucker wasn't already staged and we knew what each candidate was going to say. If they had to watch out from responses from Nader or just anybody...they would be a little more game...and that's all I want...

    I want either that or an election decathlon with a pie eating contest as one of the events. Oh and the long jump..because the visual of George Bush in little shorts leaping is funny as balls...

    Can We Get Lesser People to Run for President?

    So what's the deal with being President? You have to be good looking or at least have a full head of hair. You have to have some connection to a prestigious college and have served some time in the Armed forces. Other than that...and about 150 Millions dollars..anybody can be President.

    Anyway I found it amusing...that hopeful Presidential candidate John Kerry (Otherwise known as George Bush with more taxes and a huge fucking chin) ...has come out lately appalled by the jobless rate. First off the unemployment is going down and inflation seems to be on the rise thanks to rich fuckers...anyway..he was so absolutely entrenched in making sure that people have jobs and can support our way of life...this means so much to him that yesterday he failed to show up and FUCKING VOTE FOR THE BILL.
      The only senator who missed the vote was Sen. John Kerry of Massachusetts, the presumptive Democratic presidential nominee, who was campaigning in Kentucky.
    I love our country! It wasn't really all that decisive...I don't think...since I'm too ignorant to really know how Gov't works despite days of West Wing watchin...but he could have at least showed up...instead he needs to get some face time in Kentucky. Can't we just take all the backwards ass southern states and flush them into the ocean anyway...?

    Yo La HellYeah

    I just downloaded an entire Yo La Tengo concert from here. Here's your lovable setlist, that upon knowing Yo La Tengo you will absolutely giggle at understanding how Sesame Streety they are...

    01 - I'm Your Captain (Grand Funk)
    02 - Gigantic (Pixies)
    03 - Barstool Blues (Neil Young)
    04 - Next Big Thing (Dictators)
    05 - Build Me Up Buttercup (Foundations)
    06 - Jesus (VU)
    07 - Surfin Bird (Trashmen)
    08 - Psychotic Reaction (Count Five)
    09 - Chicken Scratch shuffle????
    10 - Cars (Gary Numan)
    11 - The Lion Sleeps Tonight (Tokens)
    12 - Hold On (I'm Coming) (Sam and Dave)
    13 - Tonight's The Night (Neil Young)
    14 - banter
    15 - Tonight's The Night (Rod Stewart)
    16 - Monk Time (The Monks)
    17 - She Cracked (Jonathan Richman)
    18 - This Boy (Beatles)
    19 - Drawing to a Hole (The Clean)
    20 - White Light/White Heat (VU)
    21 - banter
    22 - Hey Ya (Outkast)
    23 - Close to Me (The Cure)
    24 - Taxman (Beatles)
    25 - The Rain, The Park and Other Things (The Cowsills)
    26 - London Calling (Clash)
    27 - We Didn't Start The Fire (medley) (Billy Joel)
    28 - outro

    Legal Mp3's

    This is a site/blog that helps keep track of the latest free mp3's being released by guys like Ipod, Amazon, and I only put this up for my corporate brethren whom have desisted their downloading habits in the wake of possible repercussions. Well now you can have mp3's and nobody can tell you other wise...Nor do you have to look over both shoulders and try to hide them in a folder called "work related". The days of keeping your fingers crossed when get an email from your SYS ADM about "Proper Network Usage" may soon come to an end. So download all you want if you can get outside your own firewall that is...

    Thursday, May 13, 2004

    The Farce that is

    I received this email today.
      Dear Bret,

      Over the past several months, we have been reviewing the thousands of poems submitted to us...After an exhaustive examination of this poetic artistry, The International Library of Poetry is pleased to inform you that you have been nominated for inclusion in ...

      The International Who's Who in Poetry

      Congratulations on your accomplishment, Bret. We look forward to publishing your biographical information on a page dedicated entirely to you. Along with your biographical information, we plan to also include in depth information about your poetry, including your motivations, the meaning poetry has in your life, and your personal philosophical point of view. In addition to dedicating a page entirely to you and your personal background, we have also reserved a second complete page that will be used to showcase a new, unpublished poem that you will provide. This means that ...

      The International Who's Who in Poetry will feature two full pages dedicated exclusively to Bret Holmes!

    (I know you can't see me being facetious but believe me it's in here)
    How about that? I'm so awesome! I'm going to go out and buy this book. Oh wait I have to buy the book...damn I thought I was special. You'd think if you were in the Intergalactic best poet ever book you would get a free copy. I really really thought that the poem my mother submitted in my name about 3 years ago was that good enough to be considered amongst one of the greatest works in the world. If I remember correctly, and I'm not lying here, it had a spelling error (I know you can't believe it right?). I really thought that one of these horrible attempts at poetry would be published in a book. I weep...Sincerely...

    I really hope to see someone some day with this book on their coffee table and the bookmark hanging out of the page where their poem is staring me in the face, taunting me to open the book, and read aloud the vast depth that they have encapsulated. Oh and it shall read something like this
      Oh rain of my youth
      Where have you gone
      Why have you returned
      The length of life is only matched
      By the breadth of dreams
      And to you I raise me hands
      Hoping to catch your life
      And cleanse my body

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I just want to see someone buy this thing. Oh shit you know what I remember now. is located in Owings Mills. When I used to work for, I remember we had the office space right next to them. Oh the days....

    Open Mouth Insert Pie ( I wish the Spanish word for foot wasn't "pie")

    Our very own Gov. Ehrlich, who is even more Baltimore than Schaefer was, denounced the idea of multiculturalism yesterday in a radio call in to WBAL.
      "I reject the idea of multiculturalism. Once you get into this multicultural crap, this bunk, you run into a problem. With respect to this culture, English is the language"

    First off, I love it when high ranking officials of our state, actually the highest ranking official, can not express himself more eloquently than by using the word "crap" or "bunk". Lord...

    Secondly, he goes on to make this ridiculous comment.
      "It's a common culture, and the last message we want to send out is for people to separate themselves. We should celebrate the common American culture, the common American values and the common American language. I think that's common sense."

    Dude, look around, what kind of common culture do you see outside of the suburbs. Real people don't live in the suburbs so they don't count. Shit, even in Baltimore there's a Korea town, china town, Italian, Greek, black, Jewish, alien, illegal alien, run away goat herders...What sort of semblance is he envisioning here? The only thing we have in common is paying taxes to keep stupid white men in power.

    Ok even more fun news is that old Don Schaefer, and for those of you not from Baltimore, this guy was beloved. Then he became comptroller and started pulling over trucks and vans filled with tax free furniture, raised the taxes on tolls, and had a huge hand in redesigning (whoops I mean segregating)most of Baltimore neighborhoods via tax incentives and raised housing costs. Anyway, old Donny Bmore did this
      Schaefer had been criticized for his announcement a day earlier that he would no longer eat at McDonald's because of an uncomfortable encounter with a cashier struggling with English

    Now I'm not all about illegal or really just immigrants coming into the city and living off tax dollars and making our country a little less stable. I'm not for it. I mean it's not fair for either party. "First off allow me to say welcome to America. Second here's some money and some medical care. Oh sure no problem, no problem...hey we're all rich here...shit...we can support everyone." That's how it's not fair for me...and it's not like that's first person type shit...that's just a reinactment of the 8 cents taken out of my weekly check, well 8 cents for immigrants and 200 dollars for fucking old people. Anyway...It's totally not fair to them...All they hear is "Hok luty subernt to for thew jert?" So I can imagine the hardships are immense and to be able to get here to begin with shows a lack of apathy, and makes me think they have a spark that used to be the kind of stuff that makes this country kick ass. But you can't ask me to be in total favor of life sucks too...and people that obviously stick out as scapegoats for me suffering are not going to get my sympathy. Sorry...

    Now I'm rather ignorant on the subject but from what I can understand, if you don't speak English it has to be difficult to attain a job. If it becomes difficult to attain a job you take work anywhere, and most of the jobs aren't exactly the ones you can speak at, i.e. manual labor. You either do that or you collect from the state. Either way...I don't see those as viable work/living solutions. When your living/work solutions turn out to be not so good, you tend to turn to alternate solutions for income whether it be illegal or once again state funded (i.e. breeding).

    Do I think more funding should go towards the learning of English, absolutely.
    Do I think we should start adopting English as a way of life? I really don't think it's going to be a Gov't decision. I think it's a consumer decision.

    When the Spanish and Asian languages start to get more of a market share, the media will let us know when it's time for us to go back to our 6th grade Spanish book to learn how to say , "Excuse me I'm here about the window washing position."

    And You Thought Dan Brown Was Gone Until Next Xmas

    Apparently the dudes who cracked the Enigma used by Nazi Germany back in WW2 are now using their talents to crack the mystery of the Holy Grail. I'm willing to bet that probably won't come to fruition. But hey, what ever builds the tourist activity to Shugborough in Staffordshire.

    Texaco Chainsaw Massacre

    Apparently since they don't have guns over in England they just rob gas stations anyway they can. This dude apparently robbed a gas station with a chainsaw.
      A HOODED shop raider burst into an off-licence and threatened the assistant with a petrol-powered chainsaw.

    That's some hardcore shit, pillow case and chainsaw.
      "This incident was extremely unusual and I would like to stress that these types of crimes are rare in Skelmersdale."

    I sure as hell hope it's rare. I wonder if in America they took away our guns, what weapon would be using next. And if they took away guns would they also start slowly taking away bow and arrows, and then knives of 12 inches, and then hammers, and then chainsaws. Who knows...they'll never relinquish the gun law in this country, and that keeps Hollywood going.

    Observations from Turners

    I found a bar in Federal Hill that I enjoy going to. It's called Turners and you can usually find me there on Friday and Saturday night. Why do I enjoy this bar? has the coolest 6'2" Russian bartender named Yanna and a little dude named Jeff that is cool with me and loves what I play on the jukebox. The main reason, is that it's never crowded. The other reason is that it's a martini bar. Now I'm not a martini bar kind of person. But any aspect of a bar in Federal Hill that keeps the meat away from the market is good to me. I mean you are usually outnumbered 1.5 - 1 girls to boys. And the girls are hotter and more dressed up. You don't see a lot of mass bud light orders going out to a section of guys in the latest Banana Republic gear. It's more like a couples bar I guess. They have Jameson there so I'm good.

    So last night after the strippers (read below) I went to Turner's. Now Yanna wasn't working and neither was the other hot girl that works there, Christine. The only reason I know Christine is that I almost got into a fight with her boyfriend...but we're cool now I guess. Anyway...I was there and a bartender that I had never seen, Tori was there with some other dude. Tori is a bombshell. I mean...she looks like she could be an ice sculpture of the hottest porn star in the world. She was wearing a huge orchid in her ear and had a self made shirt on that barely kept her 44 Double D's in there. Anyway..she was talking to some guy who's a radio station manager at 95.9. And we started talking a little about music and he told me he was a (now what was it?) a....a....something like a musical sociological historian. He was talking about how African Americans have been getting ripped off forever and how music is so vital and trivial at the same time. It sounded good, but you could tell from his delivery that he had given that speech about 50 it didn't seem quite as fresh...and when someone give a speech for the 50th time there's no way the audience is getting a word in edge-wise. This sort of got me thinking about the appeal of hip hop to white suburbia. It sort of got me thinking about how passive music is, but at the same time, there may be no bigger piece of media that can segregate a culture like music can.

    I started thinking about how we dress and whom we interact with. I started thinking about that, and could really only take myself as my first test sample, but for most urban/suburban youths, music plays a pretty big role in choosing groups of people. It also plays a big role in your costume. It plays a big role in your habits and ability to accept certain habits as ok, or denounce them as evil. It plays a role in your nightlife. I mean obviously, if you do something or like something it helps to define you. But I like steak, and steak doesn't really affect the way I dress or who I hang out with. I like the TV show West Wing, but again, I don't feel the need to dress like Toby or Josh as an extension of my being able to enjoy the show. But I do like Britpop, and I do like me some suburb punk. And I own, and search for witty t-shirts. I look for ways to look aloof and unbothered by trite things like jobs or money. I order scotch and water while wearing a scarf in doors. I pride myself in being able to talk in movie lines that correlate back to the same type of music found on their soundtrack. any who...

    Another observation I had was the hot girl and her breeding ritual. The bartender Christina rolled into the bar. She was dressed to absolutely kill. I mean her ass was hanging out of her skirt and her huge titties were just mashed together enough to pop out of a turtleneck. It was quite impressive. But you know what that outfit does?

    It says two things, and I commend her on one. The first thing it does is make people look at her.

    The second thing it does, and this is commendable, is that it wards away potential male suitors unable to mate with her. Now that may seem animalistic but let's face facts. The average man sees a strong dominant female, with a body that is obviously quite adept at breeding, all her plumage is showing, and she is unstoppable. The average man sees these dominant traits, looks, desires, and then is thwarted by his own conscious, or a more suitable male. He basically sees this and instinctively covets and then cowers. He knows he does not have the ability to breed with her. He does not have the nerve or the fortitude to approach. That's a sad thing about our culture but it's true. And what is commendable is that she will go home with a man who is suited to breed with her. She will create a more dominant human being simply by having selected an appropiate-mating outfit. Girls who wear bullshit ass baggy pants or dress like they don't want to be impressed and shit like that, those are people that have diseased children that grow up to be weak and odd. The person that the breeeder copulates with will probably churn out a healthy offspring that will carry these dominant traits with it to once again super breed.

    The last thing I noticed, and this is one that I've been hearing for a while, is the bullshit ass way people say they don't care about the way they look. Now I take huge offense to this when it pertains to one sect of people, the "punk" or "emo" people are usually the one to utter the "I don't care" phrase. And when they do I can't help but chuckle and think that the mohawk they are wearing is the way their hair looked when they woke up. Or the vintage McGyver t-shirt that so aptly fits their svelt torso is merely something that they found on their floor. In order to realy punch holes in them, I want to first look at their opposite. Let's look at the people that "punks" and "emo's" seemingly think do care what they look like. Let's look at the rich.

    I'm going to define rich people by their superficialities. In this case, one who has to wear a uniform for all occasions. One who has to have a robe for the bathroom, a pair of bluchers for yachting and monogrammed towels for their indoor pool. Rich is not living in a nice suburban community and driving a Lexus. That's nice, but it's not really rich. The real rich people have costumes. They wear clothes whose maker can be identified by a certain cut, fabric, or emblem. They wear either traditional or current conservative, yet changing hairstyles. They engage in activities suited for their ilk. Activities such as polo, yachting, extreme world travel. They enjoy purchasing things like Persian rugs and crystal vases that house fake flowers by Faberge'. They live a life surrounded by items and events that one can easily identify them by.

    Now let's define the "punk" and "emo" crew. The crew that so apparently doesn't "care" about how they dress. In this case one who has to wear a uniform for all occasions. One who has not one, but at least 7 concert t-shirts of varying levels of obscure bands that have strategic if not "planted" holes and rips. They wear trendy shoes, whether it be the light fitting Clarks, old Nike's with the waffle iron tread, or doc martins. They take comfort in knowing that their jeans are old, and that their hairstyle is one that is current and being mocked by the up and coming bands that they go to see. They engage in activities with their fellow "slackers" such as cheap Irish bars with good juke boxes, seeing bands at dive clubs on the weekend, or simply passing out on the floor at a flop house. They live a life surrounded by items and events that one can easily identify them by.

    Both of these people have costumes, it's just that the "rich" group understands their costume as being a chain, and the other group thinks their costume gives them freedom. One group has money to buy crazy shit like $10,000 class eggs. And the other prides themselves in knowing the cook at the local Sip n' Bite who can give them free pancakes at 5 am. We all wear costumes people. Hey, you want to see some people that really don't give a shit about what they wear, go to a corporation and visit the mid-level programmers. They couldn't care less. Now that's punk...

    To Unwind

    So the first 3 days of this week have been pretty taxing. Work has been tough. People have been tough. Roommates should peril in a tragic freak roof collapsing accident. So I did what any born and bread Baltimore man does when he feels stressed. I went to see naked women dance. It's been such a long time since I've been to a strip club. And I'm not getting nearly as much sex as I need in my life. So going to a strip club at 6:30 on a Wednesday seemed like a great idea. Oh what I miss by dating strippers and partying late night with girls who could talk about themselves for hours even while laying on a bar completely naked doing tricks with their orifices.

    Anyway...I went over there with my new sidekick as of late, Jenkfest. Jenkfest is my roommate and I kinda like living with him. So he looks at me while we are there and he wants to leave after about an hour. I simply looked over and said,
      "I didn't get 300 dollars out of the ATM for nothing. I'm not leaving until I see 10 different girls and thank them all personally for showing me their birth canal. Here's 50 bucks, pick one, and go have a lap dance."

    Now I don't really watch the girls. I mean I do. But I don't get off like most guys at a strip club who tilt their head and try to see up to someone's kidney's. I don't do that. As a matter of fact I usually look them in the eyes and try to find any spark of life. It's not really the organs that I'm attracted to, it's the "milkshake". It's any glowing aspect of them. It's whatever they are most proud I know we're talking about strippers here but everyone ends up somehwere for a reason. And you are just as close to being homeless as you are to living in the penthouse. Most of them are just women who are confused or in a tough spot.

    So in that vein I have come to the conclusion that here are three kinds of strippers.
    1. "The dumb girl". This girl had an abusive boyfriend that probably sold a whole bunch of weed or coke at some point and she started hanging out with his trashy friends, probably banged a few...and from there it's a short backslide into dancing naked for dollars. You can spot her by her willingness to talk to you and her actual enjoyment while dancing. She's usually an ass smacker and probably has at least one nipple or womanly organ pierced. She's in it for the drugs or another man to come and treat her the same way her last one did. 60% of the girls are part of the "dumb" genre.
    2. "The money grubber". "You know I'm in law school and I need the money. But I was thinking last week I also want to be a doctor, or maybe just own a Porsche.". You can usually find her by her slow movements. She's a grinder and a singer of her own song. The money grubber will make eye contact with you because she knows that's where the tips come from. She's usually the hottest one in there...and you'll know her because she doesn't look like she's been blowing cocaine off guy's grundals for 5 years. She looks stripper hot. She will also say things like "Hey handsome." or "You're such a cutie pie." You will also see her flirting it up with the ugliest men there because she's in it for the money and she can detach herself from being openly judgmental. She knows the bald dwarfs and fat greasy guys tip the best and that shower at the end of the night takes it all away, especially when it's a thousand dollars in bills. 10% of the girls are money grubbers.
    3. The daddies girl. This girl probably left home at 18 or something tragic happened. She may have been kicked out of school or had a parent die. The point is that she feels kind of alone and confused. She may have had a boyfriend that left her and she found herself, jobless and schoolless with a circle of friends that brought her into the fold. She's usually cool and collected and there isn't much that separates her from the "money grubber" girl. The main separation is that she doesn't look like a stripper. She looks like the girl in highschool that always had good skin and smelled like vanilla. She has an air of normalcy. You can see the soccer mom in there somewhere.The "daddies girl" usually stays in the stripping industry for no more than 6 months to a year. They either clean up their act or find a sugar daddy. You can usually spot her by her natural assets and her inability to look customers in the eyes. She'll do her tricks for you but she won't look into the windows of the soul while she does them. 30% of the girls are daddies girls.

    I also realized even more that I'm not attracted to northern European women. If women were cuts of meat in front of me in a butcher shop, I instinctively know that I always go for the tenderloin. It's the same way I always go for the dark haired girl with hips and dark eyes. Nordic blondes, and southern belles, or dye jobbed polish girl just don't turn me on in any physical way. It's always the Italians, Greeks, Jews, Turks, etc....oh and don't forget Asian women. I was sort of bummed they didn't have any Asian girls working there. Now just because I find a certain breed of women more attractive doesn't mean I don't hold personality to a high level. I just hold physical beauty and the ability to be completely sexual as the clincher. Actually the real clincher is the Sunday morning conversation. But either way...

    Anyway...I left at about 9. I felt much better.

    Wednesday, May 12, 2004


    How come more people aren't freaking out a little more about the fact that a FUCKING JET in AN AIRFORCE (allbeit the Mexican airforce...i.e. American airforce circa 1978) saw things flying around it that it cannot identify. IT CANNOT IDENTIFY! Well I doubt it's us...unless we are thinking about invading our biggest debt clients paying us at a clip 0f 10%.And unless Bolivia or FUCKING San Salvador popped up in the technology world I don't know what the hell this is. But I sure as hell want to know.

    Roll Call

    Ok so I finally got Liz to start a blog and she showed me this other dude's blog which I sort of like because all I do is talk about media and live shows on here anyway and he does the same thing. He seems to be a tad craftier than I though...So anyway...

    This is Liz's

    This is some other dude that Liz knows.

    Good luck to Liz as she enters into the world of sharing with strangers.

    Super Psyched For Friday

    It's Wed., but I'm already stoked for Friday. The Otto Bar is hosting Enon and Two if By Sea and Shannon Wright and Blood on the Wall but it's the first two I really want to see. Two if By Sea is one of the best bands I have ever seen from this area. They sound like Morrisey and Interpol got together and decided to sing a good bit of pop. I got an Enon record yesterday from trusty old Soundgarden but haven't absorbed it yet. From the mp3's I have I assume it's gonna be awesome though. Anyway, I haven't seen a good show in a while and last time I went to see Two if By Sea I got drunk and Doug and I had to leave before we could no longer mobilize ourselves out of the shady ass neghborhood where the Ottobar is.

    And before all this I'm eating some Korean grub, drinking some soju, and oogling Korean waitresses. It's gonna rule!

    I haven't decided about Preakness just the corporate pass today...but am not really feeling it...The tent, the white clothes, the breezy day of sipping black eyed susans under a corporate logo, while I watch the naked animals next to us doing what I want to do. I got an offer for a grandstand/infield pass...but you know...I think I may just go hang out with my Dad and shop for records. That sounds lame...but hey...have you ever been in the infield at Preakness and looked yourself in the doesn't get any lamer than preakness in Retrospect. I think if I get a proper invite from some of my friends who are going then I'll go...else...2005 Preakness it is.

    Convo With my Old Korean Girlfriend

      SuYeon says: All your dreams will come true.
      Bret says: really
      Bret says: why?
      SuYeon says:^^
      SuYeon says: what??
      Bret says: why are all my dreams coming true?
      SuYeon says: what dose this mean??
      SuYeon says: ^^
      SuYeon says: pregnant?
      Bret says: who?
      SuYeon says: i don't know.
      SuYeon says: i little bbigim.
      Bret says: bbigim?
      Bret says: aggie
      SuYeon says: ??
      Bret says: ??
      SuYeon says: you know.... bbgida...
      SuYeon says: i miss that time badly...
      SuYeon says: when??
      SuYeon says: so why did you break up??
      Bret says: with who?
      SuYeon says: i miss him badly.............................
      Bret says: who?
      Bret says: bbgida
      Bret says: whos is that?
      SuYeon says: you.............................
      SuYeon says: sorry.
      Bret says: why?
      Bret says: dont be sorry
      SuYeon says:today come down rain.
      Bret says: its hot here
      SuYeon says: really??
      SuYeon says: this is cold.
      SuYeon says: no, today is cold.
      SuYeon says: really.
      SuYeon says: i catch cold.
      SuYeon says: cold...cold.
      SuYeon says: jinjja.
      SuYeon says: everydays i miss you...
      SuYeon says: kiss
      SuYeon says: bye bye~~~
      Bret says: ok bye bye
      SuYeon says:*^^*


    A Visual Interpretation of the Digital World

    The people at have been trying to come up with a visual map of the net for quite a while. I remember these guys from back in the day when they started with visual route and mapping nodes. This is kind of cool and I wonder, when they finish, what they will really find.

    If I could make it something, it would be a microcosm of the stars and then we would realize that we are merely an IP address in space and that all aspects of our planet are just one big working computer. That's pretty cheesed, but that would be smokin', and it would be the ultimate jaw dropper. Well that and bigfoot

    Cupboard for the Dead

    Airlines are now offering corpse compartments.
      But the airline said it would only resort to the compartment option if no other suitable spot could be found.

    I don't really know how to feel about this. On one hand if my friend of family member died, I don't think I'd be too keen on a stewardess dragging him by his armpits to be stowed snuggly in the corpse cupboard. Then again if it wasn't anyone I knew, I would want them as far as fucking possible away from me.

    Things To Check Off for the Summer

    Drinking gets cut down to one time a week
    Lose some weight
    Cut down on smoking and become just a social smoker
    Do something productive within the community, South Baltimore Learning Center would be cool
    Write something and be confident enough to show it to someone
    Become kick ass at your job
    Raise your energy level by cutting out foods that crush you
    Learn to sleep on the floor
    Become flexible enough to put your palms flat on the floor with your legs still straight
    Hit a homerun for my summer baseball team
    Don't make one phone call when you are drinking
    Don't screen phone calls
    Don't dodge people out in public
    Go to the ocean, any ocean
    Go to Vegas
    Go to New York
    Improve mental agility
    Learn how to play backgammon and pinochle
    Change website focus
    Get knowledge blog running
    Find a girlfriend
    Fast for 3 days
    Then fast for 4 days
    Give something away that you love
    Stop writing in list form

    Tuesday, May 11, 2004

    Randoms Brought To You By My Station at

    1. Myxomatosis - Radiohead ~ "I don't know why I feel so tongue tied" It's that song. I like that they didn't do a full concept album like Ok Computer, Amnesiac, and Kid A. It sort of changes up between pop and industrial Radiohead. I know I like the pop more but when they are both on the same record I love both of them together in the sweetest way.

    2. Somebody's Baby - Jackson Browne ~ You know what else I love about Jackson Browne. At a concert of his you will never hear one person scream for this song. It's amazing that this is the song of his that most people know the best because of Fast Times at Ridgemont High. It's a brutal tune.

    3. Mary Jane - The Vines ~ guys should smoke more pot. Smoke more until you realize you aren't a real band at are just young cute and you hop around on "Get Free" is an anthem of a song...but come on...another ode to pot.

    4. See You In The Next On... - The Verve ~ Wow early 90's Verve. Man bring me back to the days of Suede, Stone Roses, Hot House Flowers and really really bad British music. Thank God people evolved.

    5. Hands Down - Dashboard Confessional ~ Eww Eww Eww Eww...FUCKING EWW. This makes me want to give my dick to charity because if I listen to this long enough I won't need one. People listen to this shit too don't they? This and the Get Up Kids and Blink 182. They all sit around and wonder where the days of Jimmy Eat World and 1996 went. Bring back Harvey Danger and SemiSonic and Tonic...etc...!!!

    6. Trouble - Coldplay ~ I'm not really in the mood for this, but after just listening to that crap, Dashboard Urinal...sadly this sounds rather similar. Oh no wait it doesn't because it has that missing ingredient that no one can ever really get their hands's called. It's called...talent...It's the ability to arrange music and lyrics in a way that doesn't sound like everyone else..yet it does...oddly...

      Wait Tangential Notes - If I like this why don't I like Dashboard Urinal? What's really different? That "talent ingredient" isn't viable. Music needs to start really getting diversified...either that or I'm going way underground soon. I can't tell the different between anyone anymore...and with the surge of horrible hip hop fueled by white moguls looking to cash in on is going to get worse...because next thing you know Coldplay will be wearing Diamonds and throwing out love to Outkast (who's latest song by the way about smelling like roses is just one of the worst things I have ever fucking heard). Hmm....

    7. Times Like These - Seven Mary Three ~ They just try too hard sometimes. They just really need to stick to what they do...and you know what? This song is what they do. 7M3 does two things...they play catchy southern rock songs that have solo drums and hard baselines, and they play slit your wrist music. It's just that, when the well is dry, the well is dry...I can take bad southern rock songs...I can't take bad slit your wrist songs.

    8. She Is Love - Oasis ~ Run Run Run cover your ears. Ignore this song. Damn you Noel. I can't vouch for this unless I'm with someone who else who likes Oasis. If a band called "Flying Monkey Ass" sang this I wouldn't listen to it. But since it's you...I find myself listening.

    9. All Eyez On Me - Tupac Shakur ~ I don't know but I never feel like more of a fake white kid then when I listen to 2pac. Maybe it's the movies, maybe it's the lameness of 2pac and West Coast rap. Maybe because I'm corny. I mean I kinda like listening to it because I knew all the songs back in the day when I was drinking mad dog 20/20 outside of Jiffy Lube at 16. But anyway...I don't listen to 2pac anymore. FF>>

    10. Sleeping On The Roof - The Flaming Lips ~ I usually don't go this deep into The Soft Bulletin because I retire and call it a day after the Superman song. Anyway...this is instrumental wrap up music. It's not filler because I wouldn't do that to the Flaming's just them being them...and there's no reason to listen to this song outside of the context of the album.

    11. Hotel Yorba - The White Stripes ~ I love this song! It's funny and it sounds like the Flaming Lips actually. It's catchy short and has those little "Yeah's" and "Uh huh" in the middle of the choruses. Plus you can count to the song and has great pick-ups. "...and it's 4,5,6,7 baby grab your umbrella. Grab hold of me because I'm your favorite fella."

    12. Clumsy - Our Lady Peace ~ This song RULES! It has three great changes and fits an awesome op mold. It paints a picture and tells a nice morbid tale about watching people fail and then telling them that they should "sleep and get a friend". It's's good...

    13. Brown Eyed Girl - Van Morrison ~ Yeah yeah ...we all like know why..because it has two versions and you always want to hear the "Making love in the green grass" one. Nobody likes the other one. The weird part is that when you catch your mom when you are 5 years old singing that verse and then she looks over at you with that awkward smile. She wished she was free again. I think every girl wants this song sung to them at some time in their life...I think they stand in front of the mirror and pray to have some scruffy guy who "really" understands them singing this song while clasping his hands around her and burying his chin in her shoulder as they both close their eyes and sway to the music.

    14. Driftwood - Travis ~ "Rivers turn to ocean. Oceans tide your home. Home is where the heart is"...etc.etc.etc...Travis is just Sunday afternoon in May, dawn laundry detergent commercial, music. Nothing feels as good as a clean house and Travis should be playing in that cleanliness afterglow...ahhh

    15. The Other Side - David Gray ~ This is one of a pair of respectable tunes from "A New Day At Midnight". I can't remember the other one.

    16. Hells Bells - AC/DC ~ I always wanted to walk up to bat with this song playing. It's so hardcore. It's great fucking music too. It may not sound like it...but with this playing there is just animal sex going on and that's really it. You can't really look someone in the eye with this blaring in the background.

    17. The Modern Age - The Strokes ~ I remember I bought this in the Spring of 2001 overseas for like 20$. It's the lp version and it has this and one other track on it. It came in a little cardboard sleeve and is now estimated at about 200$. A shame...that was thrown away in the tragic accident that was my cd collection. This is a good song though...I remember when I first heard it I was like.."What the holy fuck is this." Now take yourself back to 2001. Take yourself to the error of bad music like the world hadn't seen since 1989. It was Creed, and Nickelback, Staind, Limp Bizkit and AHHHHHHH! Anyway...when i heard this the first time I was so excited. One of the bands needed to make it...and to be quite honest, these guys are the most talented. They suck wang live though!

    18. House Of The Rising Sun - The Animals ~ Nobody really knows who the Animals are. They always get them confused for the Kinks or Cream or some other band. Well this is them and it's the best rendition of this classic tune. Of course this song really has no origin. Some say it dates back to Sonny Taylor...but who knows...those guys didn't have record deals...the old blues masters sang songs to keep the rain off their heads.

    19. Fine Again - Seether ~ Wait wait wait and to think I was starting to enjoy myself and my music. And this came along. This ass clown music. There should be executions of these bands on nightly television. They should string them up and make them play their song 5 years removed from their corporate playola days...and the crowd has to love it or they get lowered into a tub of acid...still strumming the E chord.

    20. Tonight, Tonight - Smashing Pumpkins ~ Nope. I don't like the Smashing Pumpkins and it definitely is without a doubt that whiney bastards voice. Because I lowered all the levels and tuned this out once and this song and most of their songs are's Billy's voice...that makes it suck for me. He sounds like a chain smoking 250 pound teenage girl that wears a leather jacket and too much lipstick.

    21. I Can't Take It Back - Jamie Hoover ~ I hate when does this. They let you listen to your stuff for about an hour or so and they start putting stuff in that they "think" you'll like. This is forgettable music. Wait...i heard a change...nope it's horrible...yeah it's not even forgettable it's earmarked for further ridicule if I ever hear it again.

    22. Sneaking Up On Mr. Prez - Division Of Laura Lee ~ This is almost tolerable. And I sooo mean almost. It's still pretty cheesy though. Nice outro and intro however.

    23. 3.2 Beer Of LoveLil' - Cap'n Travis ~ Well hello. This is kinda cool. His voice is kinda goofy he sounds like something that I have heard before...yeah this sounds like modest mouse singing country. Holy shit it does! This is kinda good...I'm actually writing down their name.

    24. How's Life (On Top Of The World) - The Two Dollar Pistols ~ Well Yeee Fucking Haaaa! Why does think I like country? This is fucking horrible I hope these people fall into a Columbian jungle and have to play their music down there with the naked corpse of Captain Kangaroo in tow.

    25. Travelin' Band - Creedence Clearwater Revival ~ Despite my hatred for Fogerty. Man this is the best creedence song in the world. It's like 2 minutes long and reminds me of...driving to a house in the late spring as the sun is just kissing the tops of the trees...for a house party. At 5pm just getting off of work or school and riding shotgun firing down a cigarette with my head slightly tilted out the window.

    26. Highway One - The Waifs ~ Well Fuck! I was all happy and now...well now...I want to shoot someone as this Cheryl Crow knock off is talking about God and trees and playing a harmonica (which is actually kinda solid). Wait the chorus is...nope the chorus is stupid.

    27. Cannonball - Damien Rice ~ I hear a good bit of chatter about old Mr. Rice. It's not off to a bad start. I haven't rolled my eyes yet.'s pretty good. Yeah it's good...a little weak for me but I can see why this is respected.

    28. Spring Cleaning - Bright Eyes ~ Sad bastard tunes. It's pretty good though. I like when artists make the decision to leave the imperfections of the recording in their. The lips smack, or foot tap that you hear is really good sometimes for songs.

    29. We're Fuckin' R'N'R - R'N'R ~ AH AH AHHAHAHAHAH ! This is disgusting. I hate BIUOIHDF ShioHIO D HIODS Hdwpoem Kpof NIODFSn NSDiew NDs. Hear ME ROCK!!!!!!!!!! HFHIO dfbhiosh H iowehio dhioswhi o. We're Fuckin RNR jpoifdsjop fdjsjods apwmvme- fcjcdokle jjkdkms djojopd.

    30. Song 2 - Blur ~ Wooohooo!

    31. Fade Into You - Mazzy Star ~ Hell Yeah! I can't remember what movie this is from but this song is good without the movie. This is just unstoppable sad heroin music. I bet a ton of people have walked the last mile to this song.

    32. Good Riddance - Green Day ~ And to think I was going to escape the day without hearing the mouth farts that are Greenday. Bummer...

    33. Ruby Tuesday - The Rolling Stones ~ Thank God! I've been wondering where the Stones have been this whole ride. I'm on hour 6 here and no stones until now.

    34. Rhododendron - The Beta Band ~ Sweet this is new stuff taht I wanted to check out anyway. We all know the Beta Band from High Fidelity. That first cd is pretty good and that song they played back then "Dry the Rain" was kick ass. So I've been waiting for this. Oh well bummer that was all just instrumental.

    35. Mr. Brown - Bob Marley ~ I don't really get along with Bob Marley for some reason. This song is kinda funny though. I like most of the stuff that no one listens to simply for that reason. It's been stuffed down my throat by pot smoking white kids for so long that I just associate "Three Little Birds" with fake dudes in Rastah hats talking about solving the worlds problems while the fire down another binger. list finished

    Monday, May 10, 2004

    Randoms on Music From My MP3 Collection
    :Everything is on random so here we go.

    • Franz Ferdinand's "Take Me Out" is great. But the key track, which I demand you all download now, is "The Dark of the Matinee". If you don't bob your head to that then something is wrong with you. Something is seriously askew with your life. The rest of the album is quite solid. I wish they wouldn't have blown up so fast. I've been watching them since October...but alas...Domino Record is owned by someone famous so they promoted the shit out of it...weep...Yet another band I have to hear at high midnight in a bad bar somewhere and watch girls in Mudd jeans mouthing the words to each other as some guy in an Atari t-shirt gets up to scream "Yeahhhhhhh"
    • "Jolene" by the White Stripes - Only the white stripes could cover a Dolly Parton song and make a great great great great song out of it. I got this shirt of meg the other day. Check this site out they have solid t-shirts...I got this and an Otis, Nina, and Flying Burrito awesome is that?
    • "I Will" by Radiohead is rather good but it's missing something. Oh yeah...a dying father in a dark corner smoking non-filtered Camel cigarettes while his early 20's son sits on an ottoman begging for money to save him from loan sharks...And a funeral procession moves slowly by at noon. You can almost hear the father clinking ice cubes into his high ball.
    • "Detachable Penis" by the Flaming Lips - I was really upset to hear they were doing the festival tour. This is a weird song that really sums up the Flaming Lips in their early years. The story is kinda funny..."I really hate having to sit down every time I take a leak"
    • "Truth Doesn't Make a Noise" by the White Stripes is pretty solid. It's not their best work and sounds a good bit like their other songs. But honestly that's so much better than anything else I normally hear.
    • "Yellow Light" by Remy Zero - I read on their website that they have disbanded. Thank God! That Smallville stint and then their move to Epic made me sick. I used to really like them. The self-titled album and the Golden Hum are still in my top 200 albums though.
    • "Mine's Not a High Horse" by the Shins - I haven't really figured out what to make of the Shins. i want to see them live before I pass further judgment. Some is good, some is bad...reminds of a Granddaddy with a guitar player and drummer. It sounds like it could be good then again it sounds like it could be coming from the Bread anthology.
    • "Poor Misguided Fool" by Starsailor - Just a great song and an amazing album that thankfully slipped under the radar and now it's mine. Mine I tell you...Mine to play and love and turn people on to. Sometimes it's a little too sad and tries to be too melodic...but for the most part it's pure awesome.
    • "Gonna Make You Love Me" by Ryan Adams - Sometimes I can't stand Ryan...other times I love him. This is one of the former times. Why is he releasing songs to soundtracks and shit...he should be in a bat mobile cruising around smoking hash and dying young...This song is forced and feels really contrived and fake.
    • "My oh My" by David Gray - You know David's last album didn't even live up to the airplay it received...i.e. none...but White Ladder is a jewel. It's a rare breed of late 90's transitional Brit pop and good late 80's lyrics. His voice is great, his songwriting (on this album) is top notch...but to see him in'll be rather...appalled.
    • "Miss Misery" by Elliott Smith - To die young and talented makes you famous. That's the way it is with rock n' roll. But he should have been famous way before this. This is just an amazing song...on a soundtrack...but it's so good that I don't care. And the scene it has in Good Will Hunting encapsulates a great shot. This should be a cornerstone song to every male's late night drunken "I miss my girlfriend" mp3 playlist. It's in mine...
    • "Jamaica Say You Will" by Jackson Browne- The opening track form his first album. Recorded when he was 18 in the winter of 1969. He dated Nico (just thought I'd throw that in as a reference point on how cool he is). He came in when Dylan was down and had a lot of pressure on him. He did ok. Anyway...this song is a solid 7...but at 18...this song is just amazing. I have to throw a dap to David Lindley though...he carries Jackson throughout his career via arrangements and slide guitar.
    • "Little Bunny Foo Foo" by The Moldy Peaches - Everybody seems to know who they are by now so I won't act that cool. This song is atrocious. Actually except for about 4 songs that whole album is pretty gross. But it's what I needed at the start of my musical taste allowed me to really look at other crazy shit.
    • "Don't Go Away" by Oasis - My anthem from 97' I owe everything about my musical tastes to Oasis. Snicker all you want but I assure you that a lot of music fans and a lot of artists are closet, if not out of the closet, Oasis fans. We all own one of their know why? Because they don't pull punches and they don't make excuses for being drunk, drugged up, violent, mediocre musicians that write great pop tunes.
    • "Lovertits" by Peaches - I haven't really had time to absorb this FatherFucker cd but from what I'm hearing off the few tracks I's pretty flat. "Teaches of Peaches" was a great step forward for Cali music and especially for girl rock. She could have carried the torch...she got the chance to tour with Marilyn Manson and got some blurbs in Rollingstone...but this is just like the first album. It's her talking about wanting to be fucked, and not wanting it...and getting angry and then trying to write pop tunes in the middle of all that. It's still cool to put on at a party though. Her bass lines WILL be stolen for future albums though...they're pretty tight.
    • "Cold Blooded Old Times" by Smog - I never noticed it but this was playing in the background of High Fidelity when they were shitting on that dude who wanted to buy a Captain Beefheart album (I think it was CB) Anyway if you don't have any should...they'll never get huge and you can love this and adore it and worship it for all the nerdiness and lameness it personifies. It's simple, it's good and it even rocks sometimes. You should also download "Hit the Ground Running" and "I am star wars" as part of your starter kit.
    • "Sister Beams" by Slobberbone - Now I know what you're saying.."Slobberbone? way to listen to death rock Bret." But no this is southern country alt. This is an awesome band that you will never ever ever hear of. This song is the second best song they have. If you can find "Josephine" you should ad that in with Elliott Smith's "Miss Misery" to that "My girlfriend was so awesome but now she's gone" list. This guys voice...can't remember his just pure what southern alt-country should be.
    • "Clown Town" by Xiu Xiu - Xiu Xiu is getting some heads turning. They used to have to wait in line behind the Modest Mouse of the world but they have sort of come into their own with their release this year. This is easily the best song off the album. Well it's the most poppy anyway. Its kinda weird but it's really solid. It's like Can meets Hall and Oates.
    • "Out of the Races and Onto the Tracks" by The Rapture - I'm pretty sure most of you know this one as I've heard it on alt radio a couple of times. But if you haven't I think you'll love it. It's real 2002 and it's what things should have been. It's in the same vein as The Raveonettes and the Yeah Yeah Yeah's but it's less known and hence more intimate because you can impress your friends. I bought the LP the other day and love it. I haven't absorbed the whole thing but this is in my top 10 favorite songs of the winter of 2003.
    • "Dog Faced Boy" by The Eels - I used to love the Eels. I still like them a whole lot but seeing them live made me not like them a little. It was a good show and all but I was expecting a little less...well a little less of him being a dick. But hey...that's rock n roll. The Eels are great and unfortunately, and I shit you not I think their album covers scare people away. They make people think that they play stuff like the Queens of the Stones Ages...they sort of sound like them watered down but their continuity and flow are better. A lot of changes and a lot of choruses. I like it...and I give this song a solid 6. It's not their best work by far.
    • "Above You Below Me" by Badly Drawn Boy - This is off the About a Boy soundtrack. It's a pretty good has a nice couple changes and it's sweet. Nothing is sweeter than a little chubby guy from Manchester singing ballads about love, children, and other happy shit while wearing a wooly hat that he never changes.
    • "Black Jettas" by Ima Robot - I wish the other songs by them would have come up. This sounds nothing like their other stuff. Their self-titled album is awesome and this is the hidden track. It's a cute tune that we can all relate to...I mean do they just give Black Jettas out to girls when they become seniors in college. It's the sensible, but I can still wear a thong and drink tequila, car.
    • "District Sleeps Alone Tonight" by the Postal Service - Thank you! Thank you Doug! I would have never found this or Death Cab for Cutie...well I at least wouldn't have given them a solid shot. This song is amazing. I have the 33's awesome...This is in my top 10 songs of 2004.
    • "Heavy Metal Drummer" by Wilco - "Well I sincerely miss those heavy metal bands..." Wilco is awesome. I'm bummed they sold out the 930 club so quick and they aren't playing the electric factory. But I'll get them sooner or later. Yankee Hotel Foxtrot was worth every bit of the recognition it got. All the tracks are great and they bleed together beautifully. Tweedy's voice is just phenomenal.
    • "Somewhere Else" by Travis - Not their greatest work but I really understand Travis. I don't think I understand another band as much as I really vibe with Travis. They rock, yet they throw peace signs and mean it. They tell jokes about kittens and rainbows and they mean I'm no softy by any a matter of fact I'm quite fratastic but I'd like to think if I had an alter would be like the aura that Travis has. This song is like that...most of their songs are...
    • "Blue" by The Jayhawks - I don't think this is a cover but people are saying it is. Screw's good...real good...I have two of their albums and they are ok. This is the song that made me buy those albums though.
    • "It's All Understood" by Jack Johnson - whoops...this has is too bad to be around this long. I usually cleanse my mp3 collection every month but Jack Johnson keeps making the cut. It has to do with his debut album. It was one of the best debuts in a real long time. This song is pretty below's like poor Rufus Wainwright but it's peaceful so it slides under my "cut" radar. just got the axe.
    • "Last Night on Earth" by the Mekons - I don't really know a lot about the Mekons but I like this song. It's political as I think they are judging by their website (not updated since 2001) so it's not getting alink but it reads "Tony Blair is Evil". Anyway...this song is kinda Brit Pop Reggae, which makes me believe they are kinda older but are still rolling...
    • "Please, Please, Please" by James Brown - His first single. This to me is James just as good as he was at his pinnacle. He came from the same Georgia woods as Otis and a lot of people think Motown and all that other crap but Georgia gave us Otis, Little Richard, Don Cropper, and James...that's cool...anyway...this is a classic song form that genre. Not big on lyrics...just all about delivery and feel it but you gotta play it kinda loud and be mimicking along with the words.
    • "Nietzsche" by the Dandy Warhols - Yes you should listen to the Dandy Warhols. They rock! I don't really talk about them that much because their catalog is about as thick as a Dr. Seuss book but when they get it right they get it right...and that's this's awesome!
    • "Bad Habits" by The Monks - Just really cool music. It's kind of fun and it's real British and from the early 80's...maybe late 70's so it's kind of "been there done that" but it's still really good. So is "Drugs in My Pocket"
    • "My baby Just Cares for Me" by Nina Simone - Ahhh nothing satisfies a thirst for music like Nina. She is truly a cool breeze in my collection. Thanks Mike! I would have found it but it was great finding her early on because I got a baseline on her stuff. It was the best barometer I could have had for that genre.
    • "The Bartender and the Thief" by The Stereophincs - They are huge overseas which makes the stuff I want to buy easier to find then most people think. This is one of my favorite songs of theirs. It's strange I keep loving all these songs.
    • "Little Honda" by Yo La Tengo - This is such a band that everyone takes for granted. You see them at all the festivals and stuff...people always love the music and have the best intention of buying a cd...but it never panned out. So they are now relegated to an occasional t-shirt and head nod from a friendly face at a bar when I hit up the jukebox for this song.

    That's enough for me right now...

    Favorites List
    Pandora Song List
    Amazon Wish List
    Revolutionary Wealth - Tofflers
    Brian Jones

    Things Making Me Smile
    The City
    Listening - [out of 5]
    Benjy Ferree - 4.8
    The Thermals 3.1
    David Gray 3.8

    Like the guy with the beard? YES - like the guy with the beers. What? Yep

    Bands That I Check Schedules For
    Badly Drawn Boy
    Belle and Sebastian
    Benjy Ferree
    The Black Keys
    Drive By Truckers
    The Eels
    Kimya Dawson
    Mark Hopkins Band
    Iron and Wine
    Mates of State
    Ted Leo
    Two if By Sea

    Places I Rock in the Flesh
    9:30 Club
    Black Cat
    Electric Factory
    The Knitting Factory
    The Otto Bar
    Recher Theatre

    Places I Eat/Drink in the Flesh
    Bishop's Collar
    Cross Street Market
    Hull Street
    Joun Gak
    Mick O'Shea's
    No Way Jose
    The Irish Pub
    The Waterfront Hotel

    My Greatest Hits (that's so lame)

    The time I almost killed a child
    July 4th in Korea
    Excerpts from Demian
    Why I screen phone calls
    Bret's Death Metal Report
    A conversation at a cocktail party
    A conversation at breakfast
    So you think you are a Baltimorian
    A conversation about a girl singer
    Observations from a bar
    Observations of strippers
    Tech Language
    Why I love Oasis
    I would go to war
    "You Son of a Bitch" An Open Letter to Tom Friend
    Dance to Your Ocean
    Dream Ranch
    When men become pussies
    Jason Whitlock is a racist propaganda promoter
    Pitchfork takes music snobbery to new level
    The Cosmic Clash of the Red Sox and Cubs
    The Hatred that is Runts Candy
    Starting corporate line-up
    Google Bio
    Do you know me? List 1 / List 2 / List 3
    The Night I Burned Philly Down
    So You Want to be a Booze Hound
    She Said it was Free
    Funniest Corporate Story Ever
    Striped Shirts and the Fucks that Wear Them
    Death Peddle
    Pieces of Morning
    Oasis Album Revew
    The Art of Tipping
    Starting Fires With Grass Stains
    Bret's Federal Hill Food Review
    Sexcapades and your Picture on the Internet
    Stupid Secrets
    Stupid Secrets the Return

    Contact Me

    Stuff I Swing By From Time to Time

    - MUSIC
    Indie Video Archive
    Large Hearted Boy
    Important Records
    Oasis News
    Pitch Fork Media
    Reptilian Records
    Scenestars MP3 Blogs
    Sound Garden Baltimore

    - BUY
    Shotgun Apparel
    Warrior Clothing

    - HUMOR
    Angry Little Girls
    Atom Films
    Eye Envision
    Homestar Runner
    Kill Frog
    Junior Varsity Meat Market

    Baltimore City Paper
    The Baltimore Sun
    Calvert Hall
    Degroen's Brewers
    ESL Cafe
    Fantasy Sports
    Korean Herald
    Villa Julie College Baseball
    W3 Schools

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