- Bret Holmes Baltimore Md

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I Kan't Spell

Wednesday, May 31, 2017

Piper James
Ya know - I think that when a baby comes out you can tell what their personality is going to be.

When Ella was pulled out over 5 years ago she didn't want to be held. She fought the swaddle and didnt like it when they put antibiotic goop n her eyes. I Held here - she didn't cry. She just stared at me as if to say "what's next?" - I was very surprised by the sudden time I had a lone with my newly minted daughter that I didn't know what to do. So I told her my life's story and who everyone in our family was. All the time she was very awake and fighting to see and move.

As you will soon come to know Ella you will see that she is not dissimilar to this disposition. She is very smart. She is very determined. She demands attention and your full and honest approach to her initiatives. She is very special and loving. I have a good feeling she'll be a great big sister for you. If I had to wager - knowing her the longest out of the 3 of year... she'll protect you, fight for you, fight with you, and be very loving in an honest demanding way.

When Wells came out he was like 8 pounds of butter. He immediately snuggled and cooed to me. He slept for about 4 days straight before we took him home. He had these great big lips that always pouted and he was a beautiful baby. Not to say that my girls aren't beautiful - but for a boy baby he was striking. When I first held him he didn't fight anything - he took right to your mama and wanted to snuggle from day 1.

Wells loves you very much. He's a little too young to understand what being a big brother is all about but he follows Ella around and wants to do everything she does. He calls her "my Ella" and once Ella held and fed you he immediately wanted to do it. Now - from what I can tell - you will be the Algonquin horn of our evenings as Ella and Wells clamor to feed you before they themselves go to bed... most likely because they don't want to go to bed. He's a gentle soul - but he's all boy - he makes everything into a gun - and likes to smash and go fast and doesn't mind when he scrapes his knee... he only gets sad when Ella makes his life hard. Other than that - he's wonderful to be around all the time. He's very polite - and says thank you and please to almost everything - he has a wonderful vocabulary and I expect big things from him and for him to have a wonderful happy life.

Last week at 7:40 am you were born. And since you were my third child I was waiting to see what you would be like since the first 2 had personalities similar to their first minutes of being alive. We didn't give you a name for a couple days because - well - that's how your Mama works. We considered Sawyer, and Charlotte (same with Ella), I wanted something more formal and attached to the world - something less flowery and more slated - I suggest Emerson and lots of goofy names that your Mother immediately vetoed.

When you came out - you smiled. Neither of my other children smiled. You also were wiggly and a little smaller than the other ones. You had a calm about you that was also inquisitive. You seemed measured and bright. The two things that came immediately to mind were funny and explorer. The way you move your head and track with your eyes - you also seemed like you were going to be funny to your Mother.

Your name Piper has no real meaning - other than - like your Brother and Sister - we liked it. Your middle name however is from your maternal Grandfather James Wentzel. Your mama loved her Daddy very much.  She has been waiting for the day to give the name James to someone that she could love just as much again. He passed away long before you came to the world - but from all accounts - and your Mother can fill you in - he would have loved you very much.

You have been a very much welcomed joy to the household in your first 7 days. You are very much loved. And we will see what the future will bring for you. I hope that you have a special and happy life. I'll be working hard to help you as much as I can.

Your best - with all the love that I have left -

Monday, April 24, 2017

A new note from your Grandma
Wells and I had a great time today.  He and I went to the market together.  He had his own little cart.  He was telling me all about the vegetables and fruit.  Which ones he liked and which ones he had at home.  We had an accident in the pickle isle.  One of the jars jumped off the shelf and broke on the floor.  He told the man who was cleaning it up that it was an accident and not to worry.  

We played several games of smash up cars and trucks.  He then decided to put people in his front loader.   He told me daddy told him to launch the people into the air.  It would make them fly better.  He helped make rice in the rice cooker for his lunch.  I think rice will be on his lunch menu from now on since he loves to help prepare it.  

He is such a joy to be with and so very loving and caring.

What a great day we had.

Tuesday, March 07, 2017

It's been awhile since I've written. But i have had so many thoughts about your development and the love I have for both of you. Ella your birthday went off without a hitch - 3 birthday parties as per usual and lots of gifts. None of which you seem very partial too. The camera you received seems to be the best gift over the last couple of years. You really like taking pictures - and you're quite good at it.

Wells my boy - you are the sweetest child when you're not wailing like a banshee. You're thoughtful - you play independently and you love your big sister so much.

Just checking in - I'll have more soon. Sometimes at night I have so many thoughts about both of you that I should collect them here - I'll try to do a better job of that.


Tuesday, February 14, 2017


Children - especially Ella - although Wells... my young man you are a true delight of a human. Funny, loving, wild, and stubborn just like your sister - and currently you don't like to sleep - but you are the warmest of lights ever shining in our home.

But back to Ella...

Yesterday you said something very interesting while taking a bath... You said that "we will never run out of water". You were in the bath and I said that we had to turn off the water - you asked why? And I tried to explain that wasting water is bad... and thus your response.

We our living in an interesting time and you are born into and will grow up in a much different era than when I grew up. Every generation is nostalgic about their generation - every generation thinks that the next generation is lazier, dumber, weaker, and more privileged than the last. They do this because you can't buy back the youth you so covet. Subconsciously they want to be young again - and therefore remember their youth as some sort of glorious time where everything was better. That wasn't the case.

We currently have morons for leaders. We are living in a world of cynicism and derision. Neighbors don't trust each other. Jobs are scarce, Everyone is scared.

This above sentences could be taken from any time throughout history. So don't sweat that stuff. What I do know is that we are here for a short time and you'll have a life choice to make at some point. Laugh more by being selfish and building a life you can enjoy. Or focus on the human race and helping out your fellow man. Both are fine pursuits and will have their merits and detriments. I leave it to you to choose - but I do know that our planet is dying.

Your mother and I are not very good conservationists. We hope that you change us - the way your cousin Emily has changed your aunt and uncle lisa and fuzzy. I truly believe that we all came from one place and will return to it. We are connected to everything. Do I practice that belief in harmony? No. Do I think I'm a good human to the earth and my fellow humans... sometimes I try to do the right thing morally... but ecologically and socially... I could be better.

30 years ago my mother would have never said to me "We need to turn the water off because it's wasteful." but the time we live in now is different. So things DO change and WE DO get better... it's going to be up to you to see how far you want to take that.

I love you. I'm so proud and hopeful for the person you are growing to be.


Friday, November 11, 2016

Ella dear I'm sorry

Sometimes other people say it better. The man who wrote this - also wrote one of your Mother and I's favorite shows West Wing - sometimes I have to just say that someone else said it better.

You and I went to vote in - what we hoped would be the first Woman President. And in all honesty... it looked like a sure thing --- but then something happened. American's didnt show up to keep someone else out - and I understand that. Either way - Daddy didn't protect you against this vermin - and that is something that is hard for any parent to take. He'll be our President for 4 years - hopefully no more - and we'll be back to something we can all sort of believe in instead of something we are afraid of.

Nothing will every hurt our family - they'll have to get through me first - and I wont let that happen.


Tuesday, October 25, 2016

Dearest Children -

Let's talk about elections. By the time you're old enough to read this - this election will have come and went. However, the legacy of the hilarity and horror ensued upon the American public in 2016 has been nothing short of shocking and shameful. (I apologize for the alliteration)

On one hand you have a career opportunist politician. A person that has anointed herself next in line and has rigged the election to back up all of her investors to do just that. She doesn't stand for much at all other than keeping everything kinda the same. And to be honest... the same ain't so bad... but that's not how American works. America likes to move stuff around. It's never good enough. There's always some tribe of warlords over a hill ready to take our stuff or an incoming storm that will blow down all our tress and leave us homeless. Aside from the status quo she doesn't really represent much of anything. She's a woman. She's smart. She' pretty qualified. But all in all she's just a completely vapid tube of a person that has likely lied and connived her entire life to get to this point. But that doesn't make her any different than any other politician - that just means she's under more scrutiny because she's a woman. Ella, I would say that having a woman President means a lot for women... but I doubt it. Hopefully though by the time you are reading this - women are not second class citizens as much as they are now. They are crushed by double standards, less pay for equal work, and continual sexist jokes at their expense and often to their detriment. Girl, when you get older - just be the person you are - men don't make a hill of beans difference to your future. So there you have future President Hillary Clinton - previous first lady, senator, and secretary of state. Like I said - qualified - but about as deep as a puddle and approachable as a switch blade.

On the other hand you have a total monster of a human being. That's it. He's horrible. He may be right on some thing but he's literally a corrupt to the core piece of trash. Hopefully one day you'll be able to tell that about a person - but there is nothing that he does that makes me want to vote for him. Given the choice of the two - I will take the one that doesn't scare me... and that one is Hillary Clinton. Wells, son, Donald Trump is not the kind of man you want to be. For all your Father's faults - and there are man - I at least know who I am. I am a selfish, embellishing, opportunist that has lied, stole, and cheated in my life. I'm not proud of it - and I hope to not do it again - but I at least know who I am. This kind of fraud doesn't realize what a horrible human being he is - deep down to his core.

I've never voted for a Democrat before but we have no choice here. Welcome to America - it's rigged. Oh and by the time you read this a man named Bernie Sanders will have worked his way to a footnote - look him up - he almost made it interesting.

A few bullet points for you to think about

1. The President has little power
2. Historical Presidents were just supposed to be honorary representatives to interact with other countries. After 9/11 executive power was amplified and now they can really mess stuff up.
3. American politics is completely rigged.
4. There is money in politics if you support it from a business standpoint. It's good to be involved politically - you will make connections and friends. It's a good spare use of time. It should not however be your sole use of time.
5. Voting doesn't matter.
6. Don't smoke cigarettes
7. Don't respect authority directly - always question authority - the people in authority are just stupid as anyone else you know. Respect kindness, patience, and loyalty. See those traits in people and respect that.
8. Read

Love Dad

Monday, August 29, 2016

Wells - Bup - Baby Tunes

Dearest Son,

Today you turn 2. There isn't much to say about 2. You've grown bigger. You've learned to operate marginally in the outside world. You are evolving.

Tomorrow you start school. You'll have Mrs. Stewart as your teacher - just as Ella did.

You like trucks. You like people. You pretty much like everything. You'll try new foods. You'll play with people and you love new things.

You're favorite phrases are "I don't know" pronounced (I nuh no), "I machine", "Go O's,", "I try", "yeah my turn", "Hold you minute" "Pee you" "baba"

You are the most loving of children. While you're sister is a little more brooding and cerebral about her efforts. You seem to go into everything with an certain optimism and acceptance. I never thought I could love something as much as I love Ella. But boy was I wrong. You are the most wonderful child anyone could hope for. You bring so much joy and love to our lives. I thoroughly look forward to what I can only imagine will be a very charmed life.

I couldn't be more proud that such a special little boy is my son. I adore you so much and I can't wait to spend the rest of my life doing that.

I hope you enjoy your special day - I know i'll enjoy you!

Favorites List
Pandora Song List
Amazon Wish List
Revolutionary Wealth - Tofflers
Brian Jones

Things Making Me Smile
The City
Listening - [out of 5]
Benjy Ferree - 4.8
The Thermals 3.1
David Gray 3.8

Like the guy with the beard? YES - like the guy with the beers. What? Yep

Bands That I Check Schedules For
Badly Drawn Boy
Belle and Sebastian
Benjy Ferree
The Black Keys
Drive By Truckers
The Eels
Kimya Dawson
Mark Hopkins Band
Iron and Wine
Mates of State
Ted Leo
Two if By Sea

Places I Rock in the Flesh
9:30 Club
Black Cat
Electric Factory
The Knitting Factory
The Otto Bar
Recher Theatre

Places I Eat/Drink in the Flesh
Bishop's Collar
Cross Street Market
Hull Street
Joun Gak
Mick O'Shea's
No Way Jose
The Irish Pub
The Waterfront Hotel

My Greatest Hits (that's so lame)

The time I almost killed a child
July 4th in Korea
Excerpts from Demian
Why I screen phone calls
Bret's Death Metal Report
A conversation at a cocktail party
A conversation at breakfast
So you think you are a Baltimorian
A conversation about a girl singer
Observations from a bar
Observations of strippers
Tech Language
Why I love Oasis
I would go to war
"You Son of a Bitch" An Open Letter to Tom Friend
Dance to Your Ocean
Dream Ranch
When men become pussies
Jason Whitlock is a racist propaganda promoter
Pitchfork takes music snobbery to new level
The Cosmic Clash of the Red Sox and Cubs
The Hatred that is Runts Candy
Starting corporate line-up
Google Bio
Do you know me? List 1 / List 2 / List 3
The Night I Burned Philly Down
So You Want to be a Booze Hound
She Said it was Free
Funniest Corporate Story Ever
Striped Shirts and the Fucks that Wear Them
Death Peddle
Pieces of Morning
Oasis Album Revew
The Art of Tipping
Starting Fires With Grass Stains
Bret's Federal Hill Food Review
Sexcapades and your Picture on the Internet
Stupid Secrets
Stupid Secrets the Return

Contact Me

Stuff I Swing By From Time to Time

Indie Video Archive
Large Hearted Boy
Important Records
Oasis News
Pitch Fork Media
Reptilian Records
Scenestars MP3 Blogs
Sound Garden Baltimore

Shotgun Apparel
Warrior Clothing

Angry Little Girls
Atom Films
Eye Envision
Homestar Runner
Kill Frog
Junior Varsity Meat Market

Baltimore City Paper
The Baltimore Sun
Calvert Hall
Degroen's Brewers
ESL Cafe
Fantasy Sports
Korean Herald
Villa Julie College Baseball
W3 Schools

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