Striped Shirts and The Fucks That Wear Them
Dan Hughes of Federal Hill Fame legend and soon to be married - forwarded me on
this link because he has probably heard my diatribe on Striped Shirts and the fucks that wear them.
Oh I hate striped shirts. It's always 5 guys in a circle that go out wearing them. Or it's some fucknut schmuck who's girlfriend bought it for him and now he is forced to proclaim to the world that "Yes, I love Ben Sherman." or even worse, "My Girlfriend is 22 and she thinks Banana Republic has nice shit."
Does this shirt help to define your evening? Is it like seeing a fellow silver back in the wild, sniffing the Aqua Gio you both share, and running towards each other to hug in a striped shirt club embrace that involves swashing hair gel products, Diesel jeans button clashing, and shaved forearms and chests that have ingrown hairs on them. Does this shirt do that to young men out on the town?
How can they possibly look around during the evening and say, "Man I look like an intelligable, viable, original, thinking male in my shirt that everyone else hear owns."?
How do they keep from clawling out there own brains? What stops their fingernails from plucking out their own eyes in defiance of this sick ritualistic cage of clothes that have been rapped around their necks telling them that it was ok to look like all the other dumb fucks out there?
And the worst one's are - oh the worst one's are the one's who go above and beyond - the extra 50$ guys I call them. Ben Sherman 110$ BR 60$ but man when you start really getting into the labels and spending 500$ bones on a shirt that's when I get firey. Because while I appreciate the effort - I still don't see the nuances in your larger collared, shinier buttoned, more streamed lined shirt. Why don't I see it? BECAUSE IT STILL LOOKS LIKE EVERYONE ELSE'S FUCKING SHIRT YOU FUCK NOSE!.
You see - this fad of striped shirts will become as funny as hyper color one day. And once again I'll be able to look back and be glad I stuck to my guns. I'll be able to look back at this ridiculous wall paper you sad men wear and realize that; I got more pussy with clever t-shirts and a strange little paper boy hat then you did wearing your "I can't believe they let me breed wearing this fucking shirt" shirt.
Anyway-
That Phat Free site is dope. Thanks Dan!
