I Kan't Spell

 
And the Men Take the Cake

So yeah my match.com obsession took a new turn today. I got so tired of looking at the girl bios that I went over and looked at the men. Oh man and the hilarity ensued. I thought the girls were bad but Jesus, the men are just horrifying.

im a great guy hands down, fun, witty, hilarious, intelligent, nice, caring, honest, just good to be around. i treat women like princesses, and expect it back (well like a prince in my case cus id look funny in a tiara). Love making my girl when i have one happy, from bein affectionate even in public to givin them a massage when they look like they could use one, even if i just got off work. Most important things to me in a girl is honest, intelligent, nice and fun. and itd be nice if she made me sandwiches theyre my fave.

So apparently it is important for a guy to seem as though he's a fucking moron. If you describe youself as intelligent, it would be nice if you attempted to speak in something other than street-eez and even tried to use capital letters WhEn ApPPropppieate. I really get a whole shaven ape thing from most guys. I guess that's what girls like; someone they can boss around.

Simple. Easy to get along with. Almost boring. Best expereinced live. Been in B-more for five years now. Own a house, one car, one truck, four bicycles.

I think guys are really confused about what it is to be a guy. I don't know who told them it was OK to cry at the movie "Beaches" and it was fine to admit that they prefer orthopedic shoes, but you know, it really isn't. Jesus Christ, when did they start giving out free neuterings. Sign me up. Take my penis away!

i like going to bars and clubs its fun but its not realy a place to find quality people im not saying that it cuoldent happen but good luck.i also like to go fishing or just taking cruises on the water when i get the chance to. i would say im a prety easy going guy and defenetly laid back i would like to find someone with same intrests as me.

First off...what interests are those? And secondly, guys, I know I'm not the greatest speller or anything, but I'd like to think if I was represented in a sexual, social, manner where I was unable to defend myself, then I would consider, with vigor, to try and use a spell checker.

Anyway, obviously I understand a male's psyche more than a females, but I'm confused by this tone of..., well..., faggotry. (Gay guys are more assertive than this. As a matter of fact, if given my choice, about dating tips, I always look to gay men. Gay men always get what they want...anyway...I'll stop defending writing about gay guys in a way to counteract the animosoty and furrowed brows shown to my use of the word "faggotry".) Why don't you guys just break out your woobie and cry because your mom doesn't cook you brownies anymore? I really miss the 50's. That should have been my decade.

My dream girl is someone who knows how to have a good time either by goin out and getting wild or just by chilling at home watching a flick. She aslo definitely has to have a good sense of humor, and be confident in herself. It wouldn't hurt any if they were cute too.

You! Yeah you! Go kill yourself! Apparently everyone in the world is an easy going person. My profile would seriously open up as, "One Anrgy Motherfucker most of the time. I'm smarter than you so don't try to boss me around. I've had sex with a lot of women so if you use sex as a weapon or don't enjoy it then go away. I'll make a shit load of money one day. If you are willing to keep your mouth shut and smile a lot then you almost have a shot...." I think that's perfect.

I would like to meet a woman who can be smart,sexy,suttle,funny and physically energetic. My match would have to be faithful for a mature relationship and be respectful of others around them such as friends and family. Differences in interests are a good thing I believe as well as the similarities between interests or dislikes. A great sense of humor is must because I usually spend my days throwing out quotes and wise cracks with a touch of dry sarcasm. I like someone who is confident enough to make sound judgements and the maturity of taking on the responsiblities for their actions.

Yeah...umm...5th grade English anyone? Anyone know how to spell "subtle"? Yes, LastSweetGuy93? Umm..yeah...s-u-....t-...t-l-e. Sorry, that is incorrect. This is just rediculous to read. Did he write this in crayon and then scan it in and hit some miracle OCR button. Maybe this guy is Latvian or maybe Bulgarian and the verb, noun, ....semblence of a thought structure is too overwhelming?

I am one who is looking to have the time of my life. I am persistent in working to be somebody and am looking for someone that would appreciate me for it. I like it when someone is really interested and not looking to waste time. I like to have conversations that are not just about ourselves, yet about everyday life (i.e. news, gossip, culture, some politics and philosophy etc..) I like to listen to all kinds of music (alternative. classic, progressive, country, and even some classical.) Ladies, if this catches your interests give me a sign ; )

How does this not catch your eye? You just described everyone in the f'n world. You are Mr. Male Guy. I have no idea when the pea pod people came down and sucked our brains out and made us all nervous and sad about our own abilities.

My perfect "dream date" started from a passion I have had all of my life. For as long as I can remember I would always look to the skies with great admiration for the few lucky people that spent most of their time aloft. As we grow older and begin to develop our careers it gives us opportunity to chase our dreams and that is exactly what I have done. In the fall of 2002, I began a journey that has enhanced my life and I hope that one day it will enhance the life of that special person I meet.

huh...? I mean seriously...huh? Did my man here just get poetic and shit yo? Damn brother you be keepin it real...man i hads no idears you had that ins you.

What's to say in here? I'm looking for an honest, upfront woman who has a great sense of humor, is intelligent, and doesn't drink, smoke, or use drugs. That's me, as well, except... I'm not a woman :-P Someone who is open about their feelings without being too over-dramatic, and someone who can appreciate affection - doesn't need 'space' all the time. I'm a very touchy-feely person (and within reason), so those who fear personal contact might not want to say hi. :)

"I would also like it if you put on my grandmothers underwear and called me 'little Billy'." This guy even scares the shit out of me and all I'm doing is reading. He's got to be in Marines or something.

These profiles and blurbs are making me think about not only the differences between men and women but how much of an apathetic, overmedicated, consumeristic society we really have. I'm not saying that all comes across in these bios, but man, something has to be affecting the way people interact.

Short observations :
Girls write more than guys.
Girls are more specific about their desires and activities, whereas guys could care less and basically just want something warm to come home to.
Girls are often in photos with friends.
Guys are often in shirtless photos strewn over a couch with a beer on the table. Or they are apt to be in a profile shot, looking aloof, and unconcerned that they are about to be immortalized.
Guys are more likely to put their adjectives into long lists that include sports teams and car types, where as girls tend to focus more on personality attributes.
Guys talk a lot more about their friends and always list them as extremely important, where as girls seem to focus more on family.
Girls are definitely better writers. Or at least better at expressing themselves without reverting to acronyms and slang yo. "Yo I beez abouts the dopest guy around 8^)...tchyaa..I'm Rick James Bitch....!" Go die!
Guys tend to use much more slang.
I've seen some of these guys around. I went to highschool with two of them.
Link posted by JVMM : 5:18 PM