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I Kan't Spell



Thursday, November 18, 2004

 
Poker

I play a lot of poker. I'd say during the week I play between 40 and 50 hours of poker. I play everything from Omaha to 7 card to 5/10 to Texas (bring all your college frat buddies) Hold 'em. I'm not saying I am a good poker player but I have figured out a consistant way to make money. I don't make a ton of money but over the last 3 weeks I have made close to 40 dollars a day. Before that...before I laid out rules for myself and posted them on my monitor I was losing and winning at unpredictable rates. I was worried too much about the cards and my instincts.

First rules first - - - Don't play tournaments! Tournament are nice enterntainment. If you want to have a good time playing poker then play in as many horse shit 200$ buy in's as you can find. Sit there and play with your stupid rebuys. (a rebuy is when you lose all your chips you pay half your entry fee to get them back - - - all this money goes to the house). Why don't you play tournament? Tournaments are for college kids who like to play like cowboys or who think they are good at poker and throw their dicks out on the table to see whose is bigger. It's boring and you can get burned. My method for winning at poker takes the "getting burned" philospohy 90% out of the picture.

Second rule (all other rules) - - - Have rules that are supported by numbers. I play by the following rules:
  • Never bet a weak hand on the river.
  • Never call two raisers in front of you unless you are 90% certain that you hold the best hand.
  • Never call an all-in bet when it is their last chips and you don't have the best hand
  • Always remember positioning on the board. There are almost 3 times as many pots to bluff at as there are to call. Betting is your friend. Trapping is your friend.
  • Create a breakdown of your percentages. Example: I play 40% of all hands. You should win 40% of those 40% in order to be in the black. Playing 40% of your hands doesn't allow you to be labeled.
  • Learn how to show your cards in the right place to make people know you aren't bluffing or that you are.
  • Understand pot odds, pot investments, and sunken costs.
  • Always try to play heads up against the weaker players.
  • Don't be afraid to change seats at the table to sit in a better position next to the weaker players. Imagine being first position in black jack.
  • Never gamble what you aren't willing to lose
  • When you are up in chips, start to lean on the other players. Poker is a game of mental strategy where you can actually force other players to do things against their will. In chess you can do this but you may just lose. In poker you can do this but you may just lose a thousand dollars. Also in poker by havign more chips you have the equivalent of having an extra Queen. The stakes are a tad different.
  • Always check the nuts.
  • Never check top pair.
  • Learn to read strong and weak players.
  • Don't call with nothing or what you know to be nothing. Part of my philosphy on how to win at poker is to mostly bet when you have the winning hand. Understanding pot odds and sunken costs are great but they can get you in trouble when you go to waste another 50 dollars because you already have 200 invested.
  • Pray on small limit tables with tourist players. Don't be afraid to slum it with the hillbillies. Taking 200 dollars from hicks is better than losing 3000 dollars to professionals. Just because you don't look cool doesn't mean you aren't learning.
  • Play as much as possible. Never stop playing. If you want to win at poker you should be putting in almost 30 to 40 hours a week and playing almost 7 - 8 thousand hands per week. The more you play the better you get.
  • Don't mix up price levels. If you are going to play 5/10 then play 5/10. Don't play 5/10 and 9/12 and 30 dollar 7 card stud. Pick one game at a time and learn to win 5 out of 6 days at it.
  • Set a goal to hit with your winnings. If you plan on doubling your winnings, then if you double them leave. Also set a low water mark and if you hit that leave. Poker is about discipline not about being a fucking cowboy. Even those guys you see on TV playing bad hands...they do it because they are in good position against weak players and they have confidence.
  • Always play against college kids. College kids play a lot of poker and most of them think they are really good. If you are patient. You'll beat the shit out of them. Don't be agressive with college kids...they are easy to read because they think they aren't easy to read...lol.
  • Be humble. Never let them see you coming at first. Then when you have a good chip lead. Crush them like a freight train.
  • Don't be afraid to talk at the table. People talk about tells...there are only maybe 100 people in the world that actually bet on tells. Everyone else second guesses and wonders and gets nervous over anything so tells are irrelevant. Talking puts people one edge or makes people feel comfortable. If you are playing against weak players...and you should always be playing against weak player...you will know by their bet exactly what they have.
  • If you are reading this list and nodding your head. Stop playing poker. Because I'm full of shit and you can't tell the difference.

  • Comments: Post a Comment



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