In 8th Grade I wanted to be a ....
The Gayest Thing Ever - and I have no Idea why I'm Doing It!
LAYER ONE
Name: Bret Matthew Scharf Holmes
Birthdate: 08/22/79
Birthplace: Baltimore, Md
Current Location: Baltimore, Md
Eye Color: Blue
Hair Color: Gone / Blonde
Righty or Lefty: Righty
Sun Sign: Leo
Innie or Outtie: Deepie
LAYER TWO
Your heritage: Mostly Irish and Scottish - German - Italian - Jew - Alien - Xanadutian
The shoes you wore today: Sand Suede Clark Wallabees
Your hair: You already fucking asked this. This was made for girls.
Your eyes: What the fuck - they are blue.
Your weakness: Pretty loudmouths, shoes (FUCK!), cheese, horror movies, panty lines, wings, my dad, flat soda, anything spicey, Indie People, Bad Semi yet to be trendy music.
Your fears: Impotence, baldness, dying in a street fight, burning to death, sharks, heights, deep bodies of water where I can't see around me, moobs, smelling bad
Your perfect pizza: white pizza / pep, saus (italian), mushroom
One thing you'd like to achieve: Make my family happy (past and future)
LAYER THREE
Your most overused phrase on IM: eh, oh well
Your first waking thoughts: Let's go
The first feature you notice in the opposite sex: ass, then eyes, then fingernails, then tits, followed closely by hair.
Your best physical feature: Lord - I'm not a bitch.
Your bedtime: 12ish
Your greatest fear: Look if you are going to do a survey or whatever this dumb fucking thing is than have the ability to make it semi-consistant.
Your greatest accomplishment: friends, not paying for college, career, love
Your most missed memory: 18
LAYER FOUR
Pepsi or Coke: Coke
McDonald's or Burger King: Flame Broiled Bitches!
Single or group dates: Both
Adidas or Nike: Adidas
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: Lipton
Chocolate or vanilla: vanilla
Cappuccino or coffee: Mountain Dew
LAYER FIVE
Smoke: When I booze or listen to music
Cuss: Yes - but I'm not a fan of other's cursing
Sing: Lord... yeah
Take a shower everyday: Yep
Have a crush(es): No - Do men get crushes - what pussy loves a woman and walks around all day day dreaming about her and her not knowing - I'm not Lloyd Dobler
Who are they: (gay)
Do you think you've been in love: Yep
Want to go to college: See this thing right here lets me know that this was made by an 8th grader. Well done all of you for taking this horse shit and than suckering me into doing it.
Like high school: Loved it. Saved me.
Want to get married: Yep
Believe in yourself: FUCK YEAH!
Type with your fingers on the right keys: yep
Think you're attractive: I ain't ugly
Think you're a health freak: No - but I can sorta be if it comes to it - if you don't count food - daddy loves food.
Get along with your parents: My Mom - Dad (love him - but - shit happens)
Play an instrument: Played the Trumpet, Piano, and guitar for a hot second. Sucked at all..
LAYER SIX:
In the past month, did you...
Drink alcohol: Uh huh
Smoke: Yep
Make Out: Oh yeah
Go on a date: Yep
Eat an entire box of Oreos: Fat fucking cows
Eat sushi: yep
Been on stage: nope
Been dumped: I think so -
Gone skating: Nope
Made homemade cookies: Negative
Been in love: Never was out
Gone skinny dipping: no
Dyed your hair: What?
Stolen anything: Convenient store stuff - I like doing it - I feel like I'm getting back at the man.
LAYER SEVEN:
Have you ever...
Played a game that required removal of clothing: yes
If so, was it mixed company: yep (ok this is officially fucking gay and stupid)
Been trashed or extremely intoxicated: I don't get drunk anymore.
Been caught "doing something": You mean jerking off? No..
Been called a tease: Yep
Gotten beaten up: Fuck yeah - my pro record is 14-21
Shoplifted: Tons of shit
Changed who you were to fit in: Not knowingly
LAYER EIGHT
Age you hope to be married: 30
Numbers and Names of Children: 7 Big Scharf, Medium scharf, Little Scharf, Smally Scharf, Handy Scharf, Scharfette
Describe your Dream Wedding: For a guy - there are very few things that concern him about the wedding and they are 1. Dont get drunk. 2. Pick a solid best man. 3. Dont be embarrassed by any ddrunk friends. 4. Dance ok
How do you want to die: In a blaze of fucking glory
What do you want to be when you grow up: A fireman - this is gayyyyyyyyy
What country would you most like to visit: New Zealand
LAYER NINE
Number of guys I have kissed: 2 well 1 I dont know - they werent really kisses it was like - I'm not afraid of gayness and this is how I prove it kind of kiss -
Number of people I could trust with my life: damn - a lot - maybe 30
Number of CDs that I own: 3000 or so
Number of piercings: none
Number of tattoos: one
Number of times my name has appeared in the newspaper: oh jeeze 50 or so - my mom has all that shit - I was even in USA Today once.
Number of scars on my body: LOL - wow - I'll try to count . I have 15.
Number of things in my past that I regret: Not too much. Myabe I could have worked harder in school. I could have been nicer to some people. But mostly I'm cool.
